If They Do the Wave, I'll Be Impressed

Sports fans often live and die with their teams, but the Boca Juniors, Argentina's biggest soccer club, are taking that to a whole new level. A special section of the Parque Iraola cemetery outside Buenos Aires has been sequestered for the Boca faithful. A corner of the locker room, I mean- cemetery, has been reserved for Diego Maradona.

Not surprising, then, that a corner the cemetery has been set aside for Maradona. Boca's most famous player has been awarded a plot free of the charge from the club, although he has made no public comment regarding the gift yet.

Antonio Rattin, Boca's 1960s era star, closed this story so much better than I ever could have: "It's so nice, it makes you feel like staying." It's great to have a place to go when the life referee shows you the red card.

[Time]

TWID - Dog Days of August Edition

Seldom a day late but never a dollar short, This Week in Death brings you: An ocean of news rivaled only by the Midwest floods in volume. Don't worry, we promise not to flood your basement, only your inbox. Take one more trip with us down to the beach. For the last week of summer, get those floaties and beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Don't forget to bring a towel! Last one in is a rotting corpse!

" Life is for Living," says Coldplay. "Health is for Updates" says TWID...

Graham's Golden Ages Crumbling, Can Soon Ask God "How Do You Cram All That Me?"
Evangelist Billy Graham experienced a third intestinal bleed Wednesday, but doctors say he remains in fair condition. Physicians plan more definitive tests to determine the cause and source of the bleeds. Graham, 88, has been hospitalized since an initial bleed Saturday.Graham, who suffers from a variety of ailments including Parkinson's disease and age-related macular degeneration, has been largely confined to his home in recent years.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,294136,00.html

Pavaroti Departs Modena, Too Sick to Journey to Mecca?
Ailing Italian opera star Luciano Pavarotti has been discharged from hospital in northern Modena where he was admitted more than two weeks ago with a fever, the hospital said on Saturday. Pavarotti will "be able to continue to convalesce in the serenity of his family surroundings, where he can count on the close collaboration of the doctors of the Department of Oncology and Haematology," it said.
http://www.news24.com/News24/Entertainment/Celebrities/0,,2-1225-2108_2171113,00.html

Castro joins Tupac, Biggie, and Cobain as (Possibly) Posthumous Publisher
Fidel Castro signed a lengthy essay published Sunday saluting a Cuban political figure but the 81-year-old gave no hint of how he is feeling, even amid rampant rumors of his death. Castro has not been seen in public in over a year and has not even appeared in official photographs or video footage since taping an interview with Cuban state television June 5.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/08/26/cuba.castro.ap/index.html

Is it Because We Suck at Soccer?
Former Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona on Sunday said he hates the United States "with all my strength" during an appearance on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's weekly television show. The leftist soccer legend, like the fiercely anti-U.S. Chavez, is a close ally of Cuba's Fidel Castro.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/19/AR2007081900996.html

Comatose Sharon: "Consider me an Object;" No Word on if He'll be Hanging Upside Down or Where he Will Swing
Former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon remains comatose and attached to a respirator nearly two years after a devastating stroke, a spokesman for Sheba Medical Center near Tel Aviv said Sunday. "There is no change in his condition," hospital spokesman David Weinberg said. Sharon, 79, was transferred to Sheba's long-term respiratory rehabilitation unit in July 2006 from Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem, which treated him after his stroke in January of that year.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/26/AR2007082600527.html

"Death is Point(s)less"...

Griffin's Crash Scene More Gruesome to Watch than Deuce Bigalow - Norbit Double Feature
Former Minnesota Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin died last week when his sport utility vehicle collided with a freight train in a fiery crash, the Harris County medical examiner's office said Tuesday. Investigators used dental records to identify Griffin, 25, who was waived by the Timberwolves in March."The cause of death and manner of death, which also includes toxicology results, is pending," said Beverly Begay, chief investigator for the Harris County Medical Examiner's office.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2985307

Too Many Brewskies for Brewster, Too Much Live for His Liver
Daniel Baugh Brewster, 83, a decorated Marine Corps veteran and former Democratic U.S. senator from Maryland whose career was shadowed by alcoholism and a charge of accepting an illegal gratuity, died Aug. 19 of liver cancer at his home in Owings Mills, Md. "He served his country in war and in peace. Although brought low by alcoholism, he overcame that illness to lead a successful and productive life," Steny Hoyer said in a statement.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/20/AR2007082001813.html

A TWID Haiku: Beloved Poet, And World Famous Novelist. Say Goodnight Gracie.
Poet and short story writer Grace Paley, a literary eminence and old-fashioned rebel who described herself as a "combative pacifist," has died. She was 84. A published writer since the 1950s, Paley released only a handful of books over the next half century, mostly short stories and poems. Her fiction, although highly praised, competed for time with work, activism, family and friends. "None of it happened, and yet every word of it is true," she once said of her fiction.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/08/23/obit.paley.ap/

This is the Sound of Settling: Death Cab for Betty
Betty Matas, the Queens woman who made national headlines in April when she and her husband took a cross-country taxi ride to their new retirement home in Sedona, Ariz., died on Monday in Cottonwood, Ariz. She was 75. Betty and Bob Matas hired a New York cabdriver, Douglas Guldeniz, to drive them the 2,500 miles to Sedona to spare their two cats a trip in an airplane cargo hold. Both of the Matases had spent their lives in the New York area, and neither had ever learned to drive.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/23/nyregion/23matas.html

"Go Sox Go, Go Sox Go! Hey Chicago What Do You Say? Sox are Gonna Die Today!"
Charles Albert "Chuck" Comiskey II, grandson and namesake of the Chicago White Sox founder and a former front-office executive and co-owner during the "Go Go Sox" years in the 1950s, has died. He was 81. While his family name is one of the best-known in Chicago sports history, Comiskey left his own mark in helping to successfully remake the team en route to its first American League pennant in 40 years in 1959.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2993932


This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death

Happy Birthday to:
August 22: Ray Bradbury (87)
August 25: Sean Connery (77)
August 25: Van Johnson (91)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

Every week, TWID publishes the Top 5 leaders in the standings. Two numbers are listed alongside the team names: the points total, and the number of deaths recorded to date. While the winner of the pool is obviously the one who scores the most points, picking a high number of deaths should certainly be acknowledged. To date, Kraut's Picks, currently 3rd in points, has the highest number of points deaths, with 7. Following him with 6 deaths each are points leader El Esta Adead , Go to Hell (7th in points), Life's a Bitch (8th), and Mine are the Deadest (12th). That's right - the 1st-place team and 12th-place team have recorded the same amount of deaths. The difference is El Esta Adead's deaths include one solo shot for 20 and a pair of 15-pointers. Mine are the Deadest's largest score was 15, and the next-highest score was 7.5. Meanwhile a pair of teams with 4 deaths recorded are 4th and 5th in the standings. Points per death, as determined by popularity of the pick, obviously plays a huge role in the standings, something worth thinking about as DP 2007 heads into the fall stretch and DP 2008 preparations begin.

No points deaths this week means no change in the Top 5, who remain...

1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 57.1 points (7 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Die Hard - 46 points (4 deaths)


Will people continue to die? Will TWID continue to come up with funny headlines for them??? Tune in next week — same Death-time, same Death-channel!
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - National Cheesecake Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Our return to general swim! Get your beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Jump in so we can catch you up on the veritable ocean of news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. Don't forget to bring a towel! Oh, and put on some sunscreen, we don't want you to end up in here. Death Pool has just been handed an urgent news story and it needs all of you to stop what your doing and listen... Cannonball!

I'm a Health nut, and with no deaths this week, it's cashew to start...

Born Survivor Grylled over Whereabouts: Can't Bear Outdoors
Discovery Channel is re-evaluating one of its most popular series, "Man vs. Wild," after allegations surfaced that its survival-expert host was bunking in motels when he was supposed to be braving the great outdoors.The network issued a statement Monday in response to an investigation launched by British television network Channel 4, which carries the program under the title "Born Survivor: Bear Grylls." Channel 4 confirmed that host Bear Grylls had partaken of indoor accommodations on at least two occasions when his series had depicted him spending the night in the wild.
http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSN2439321520070724

ok, so this mite not in actual qualfy to be a real like health update but we thoght u should knpow whats up
Courtney Love is planning more corrective surgery to fix her "wonky" lips.In a bizarre posting on her MySpace page, the former Hole singer revealed she is still unhappy with her looks, despite having surgery to remove her breast implants and alter her cosmetically enhanced lips.Courtney wrote: "my mouth still looks wonky, i think i gott go back to paris tot he dr, hes nit a cosmetic surgeon he just fixes bad surgery and also cleft palates and serious s--- its nbot really vanity hes conservtive, wich we like, and this really isnt znyones business but im hating that id di that to my mouth back in the day and he didnt really take out enough the first time around i just wnt the mouth god gave me back, it was perfectly cute."
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/entertainment/2007/Jul/6596_20070725.php

Maradona Putting the Go, but not the Die, in Diego
After recovering from his alcohol addiction Argentine football legend Diego Maradona will return to the football field to participate with friends in a match of "showball" against Uruguay on the fifth of August in Santa Fe, Argentina. Maradona, who has a history of health problems related to drug and alcohol abuse, will return to the football field after being given the thumbs up. Maradona, who will turn 47 in October, has not been seen exercising since leaving the clinic more than two months ago. But he has already affirmed to the press that he will be in good shape for the match.
http://goal.com/en/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=364286

Munchkin Coroner Is "Really, Most Sincerely Alive," Will Leave Tiny Handprints in Hollywood Sidewalk
The Munchkins are finally getting their due. The 124 little people from the 1939 movie "Wizard of Oz" are slated to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame next year. That's good news to 91-year-old Meinhardt Raabe (RAH'-bee). He played the Munchkin coroner, who proclaimed the Wicked Witch of the East "really, most sincerely dead." He says he never tires of Munchkin fame. The four-foot-seven Raabe lives in Florida, but he says he'll be at the star dedication ceremony.
http://www.kbsd6.com/Global/story.asp?S=6817456

Oh, death, you slay me...

Failed to Heed Warning: Danger, Bill Robinson!
Bill Robinson, who played on Pittsburgh's 1979 World Series championship team and was working as the Los Angeles Dodgers' minor league hitting coordinator, died Sunday. He was 64. "Bill was a wonderful family man and a great baseball player, coach, manager and friend to everyone he met," Dodger general manager Ned Colletti said. "Even though he never played for the Dodgers, it was an honor that he chose to be a part of the organization. Everyone he came into contact with was better for having known him."
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2954068

Death Imitates Art: Checkmate, Bergman
Swedish director Ingmar Bergman, an iconoclastic filmmaker widely regarded as one of the great masters of modern cinema, died Monday, the president of his foundation said. He was 89. "It's an unbelievable loss for Sweden, but even more so internationally," Astrid Soderbergh Widding, president of The Ingmar Bergman Foundation. He was "probably the greatest film artist, all things considered, since the invention of the motion picture camera," Woody Allen said in a 70th birthday tribute in 1988. "The Seventh Seal," released in 1957, riveted critics and audiences. An allegorical tale of the medieval Black Plague years, it contains one of cinema's most famous scenes -- a knight playing chess with the shrouded figure of Death.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/30/bergman.obit.ap/index.html

Prosser's Demon Deacons Got the Best of Him
Skip Prosser, who led Wake Forest to its first basketball No. 1 ranking three seasons ago, died Thursday of an apparent heart attack, the university said. He was 56. Prosser was found slumped on his office couch and unresponsive by the director of basketball operations, Mike Muse, shortly after returning from his noon jog, the athletics director, Ron Wellman, said.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/27/sports/ncaabasketball/27prosser.html?ref=obituaries

This Is a Story About a Woman Named Odile Crick, She Was Not Saved by Her Wristwatch
Odile Crick, an artist whose original sketch of the double helix of DNA, the genetic blueprint for life, became a symbol of modern molecular biology, died July 5 at her home in La Jolla, Calif. She was 86.The cause was cancer, said her stepson, Michael Crick, who said the family had not announced Mrs. Crick's death until last week.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/30/science/30crick.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

No Tomorrow for Snyder, so Fire up a Colortini, Sit Back, Relax, and Watch Tom Snyder, now, as he Flies through the Air towards Heaven
Talk show host Tom Snyder, whose smoke-filled interviews were a staple of late night television, has died after a struggle with leukemia. He was 71. Known for his improvised, casual style and robust laughter, Snyder conducted a number of memorable interviews as host of NBC's "The Tomorrow Show." Among his guests were John Lennon, Charles Manson and Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols. His catch phrase for the show was: "Fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures, now, as they fly through the air." Snyder smoked throughout his show, the cigarette cloud swirling around him during interviews.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/30/obit.snyder.ap/index.html

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

Three weeks ago in this space, Skinny Dipping told you about the 5 most popular picks, 2 of whom have since passed on. But where's the skinny (pun intended) on the opposite end of this Death spectrum, the least-popular picks? Well, here's the deal: there were 165 picks (58% of the entire pool) that qualify as "solo shots"; a death by one of the 165 would reward its owner with 20 points. Why such a large number? For starters, 30 different people are bound to come up with many different names. In many cases, these picks are unique because they are either young, in good health, or both, and were only chosen due to total guesswork, or, in some cases, spiteful hope. In other cases, however, thorough research can produce rewarding picks. To wit: 11 of the 26 points-related deaths this year have been solo shots, providing 220 out of the 670 awarded points to this point.

After two weeks of borderline chaos - chaos! - in the Top 5, this week there were no changes and the leaders remain...

1. El Esta Adead - 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
4. Die Hard - 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Kraut's Picks - 44.8 points (5 deaths)


That's all for us. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Gay Pride Parade Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from the game of pool! We've set up the balls in the rack and chalked up the cues. Join us as we go solids versus stripes, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Fats Domino-like death pool competitor. Watch out for the 8-Ball, like death... it's an end. Unlike death, it doesn't give you any points.

Health is the most important thing. And that is why we lead with it...

Lady Bird Has Fever, More Cowbell Not Helping
Lady Bird Johnson spent another day in the hospital Sunday with no major change in her condition, three days after she was admitted with a slight fever, a family spokeswoman said. "We still don't know when she might get to go home, but her condition is stable," spokeswoman Elizabeth Christian said.
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/20070624-0934-ladybirdjohnson.html

"Better than ever Mentally," But Just as Bad as Always Physically
Alfredo Cahe, personal physician to Diego Maradona, told media on Tuesday that Argentine soccer star of the 1990s is "better than ever mentally" and said the former player had made a tremendous effort to recover from alcoholism.
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2007-06/20/content_6265331.htm

Aww, Be Nice to Rowdy. The Guy We Bought Him From Used to Keep Him in a Box Full of Old Hats
I had a chance to chat with Roddy Piper briefly Monday night and he looked and sounded great. Roddy looked to be in great sprits and in excellent health. I visited with Piper and Flair momentarily and jokingly asked them if I could join their "senior's" discussion. The business needs more men like Ric Flair and Roddy Piper that's for damn sure.
http://www.wrestling-news.com/artman/publish/article_3515.shtml

Death is not the most important thing. And that is why we put it second...

I'm a Closer Baby, so Why Don't You Kill Me?
Rod Beck was a menacing sight on the mound, with a bushy mustache and a searing stare that intimidated batters throughout his 13-year career as one of baseball's best closers. Yet his friends in the game knew Beck as a hardworking teammate and a jovial character whose early death saddened players all around the major leagues. Beck, an All-Star relief pitcher who earned 286 career saves, was found dead in his home Saturday. He was 38.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2914994&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines

Weee ooooooo eeeeee oooooo, Weeeee oooo wum-wum-dead
Hank Medress, whose vocals with the doo wop group the Tokens helped propel their irrepressible single "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" to the top of the charts and who produced hits with other groups, has died of lung cancer. He was 68.
http://www.wtopnews.com/index.php?nid=114&sid=1173751

Friendly in Life, Dead in Death
Ed Friendly, a producer who brokered the deal that brought "Laugh-In" to television and who created the series "Little House on the Prairie" after noticing his daughter reading the books, has died. He was 85.
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/california/la-me-friendly20jun20,1,5036304.story?coll=la-headlines-pe-california

No Cause of Death? How Can Norton be so Obtuse? Is it Deliberate?
Jim Norton, a four-time AFL All-Star safety and an original member of the Houston Oilers, has died. He was 68. Norton died June 12 in Garland, a Dallas suburb, according to an obituary released by the Gonzalez Funeral Home. A cause of death was not given.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2907923

Now Airing on ESPIN 8 (The Ocho): The Rebel Fighter
His eyes filled with tears, acting President Raul Castro paid his respects Tuesday to his late wife Vilma Espin Guillois, a fellow rebel fighter who served for decades as first lady of the Cuban revolution.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070619/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/obit_espin;_ylt=Ajs.SXjfV2ZfkDQK_YkScgbMWM0F

With great power comes responsibility, and with no deaths comes no standings change. Thus, the Top 5 remain:

1. El Esta Adead - 66 Points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 Points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-Score - 50 Points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard - 46 Points (3 deaths)
5. Av S. is My Hero- 41 Points (3 deaths)

Humbly,

The Commissioner's Council

TWID- Subway Series Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Health is a wonderful thing, Health is a really cool thing, so get off your elth, let's do some health, health, health, health, health, heeeeeeealth.

Leaky Fawcett; Cancer Drips back After Three Months
Actress Farrah Fawcett has confirmed that doctors in Los Angeles have found another malignant polyp in the same area she had rectal cancer. The new cancer was found just three months after Fawcett was given the all clear, but luckily the cancer has not spread, said "Chasing Farrah" executive producer Craig Nevius.
http://www.themoneytimes.com/articles/20070520/farrah_fawcett_braces_for_cancer_battle-id-103893.html

His Illness Flails About as if Independent from his Body
Multi-Millionaire dancer Michael Flatley has been struck again by the same mystery virus that resulted in him being hospitalised last November. The Lord of The Dance creator, whose wife Niamh gave birth to their first child three weeks ago, is back on heavy medication but is determined not to let his ill health get him down. "I just have to be patient and accept that it is a long road to recovery," he said.
http://www.irishexaminer.com/irishexaminer/pages/story.aspx-qqqg=ireland-qqqm=ireland-qqqa=ireland-qqqid=33246-qqqx=1.asp

Maradona Defers World Cup Tour for Alcohol Cup Pour
The tour of Asia that Diego Maradona was to start next week was suspended due to the treatment that the former Argentine football star is undergoing to overcome his addiction to alcohol. Officials at the Thai Embassy in Buenos Aires told the news agency Telam on Monday that the trip to Indonesia, Vietnam, Singapore and Thailand will probably take place in late June.
http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/62538.html

Terkel Turns 95, Remains Stud
American original Studs Terkel, the author and oral historian who for decades gave a voice to working men and women, turned 95 Wednesday. But don't worry about his memory. He's sharp as a tack. In fact, he's the one doing the worrying -- about what he describes as the memory loss of a country he suggests may be more interested in the transgressions of celebrities than more substantive affairs such as the politics of the Bush administration, which he characterizes as a "burlesque show."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/05/16/terkel.birthday.reut/index.html

That's right, I was testing you.... its death. And that's a magic number...

Tinky Winky Confirms Fallwell was in to Hurly-Burly
The Rev. Jerry Fallwell, the fundamentalist preacher who founded the Moral Majority and brought the language and passions of religious conservatives into the hurly-burly of American politics, died yesterday in Lynchburg, Va. He was 73.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/16/obituaries/16falwell.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Remains to be Seen Whether Heaven Left a Light on for Him
William Becker, who after enduring rundown, though not particularly cheap, motel rooms on a cross-country trip in 1960 got the idea for the Motel 6 chain, charging $6 a night for a spare but clean room, died April 2 at his ranch outside Kingman, Ariz. He was 85.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/15/business/15becker.html?_r=2&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

King Enters Long Slumber, No Word on Ability to "Having a Dream"
Yolanda King, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s eldest child who pursued her father's dream of racial harmony through drama and motivational speaking, collapsed and died. She was 51. The family did not know the cause of death, but relatives think it might have been a heart problem, he said.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/16/obit.king.ap/index.html

"Am I Crazy or is that a Lot of Siblings? That's a Lot of Siblings."
Terry Ryan, author of the bestselling book, "The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less," died Wednesday at her home in San Francisco. She was 60. The cause of death was cancer, according to Pat Holt, her partner of nearly a quarter-century. She is survived by her nine siblings and their children.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/17/BAGP0P3U2E115.DTL

There's no way you can stop... the School of Death!

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Mother's Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Mother's nurture you, so in their honor, we start this week with- Health!

Tammy Faye is Half-Bakked; Matter of Time
Tammy Faye Bakker, the disgraced televangelist whose reputations was rehabilitated, has penned a goodbye letter to her fans in which she says doctors have stopped treating her cancer. "The doctors have stopped trying to treat the cancer and so now it's up to God and my faith. And that's enough! But please continue to pray for the pain and sick stomach."
http://www.reuters.com/article/peopleNews/idUSN0927384020070509

Surprisingly, no Chapter Titled "Prepare a Death Pool Notice"
At age 90, actor Kirk Douglas has written his ninth, and he swears, final book. Featuring chapters like "Thinking About Death," "Dealing With Death," "Almost Dying," "Reading Obituaries" and "Sunset," the book is called, "Let's Face it."
http://ca.today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2007-05-08T110647Z_01_N07379441_RTRIDST_0_LIFESTYLE-DOUGLAS-COL.XML

Diego, It Wasn't Us, We Promise You Have Been in our 'Health' Section Only
Argentine football hero Diego Maradona has vowed to get healthy after a stint in hospital suffering from alcohol-induced hepatitis. In a live televised interview, he also vowed to find out who spread the rumour that he had died while he was in treatment.
http://itn.co.uk/news/41a4547649f2026ef504b9c49fac365e.html

Huanging On: What is the Secret of the Ju's Longevity?
The Chinese government on Wednesday denied media reports that Vice Premier Huang Ju, one of the nine most powerful men in the Communist Party hierarchy, had died. "It is our understanding that news regarding comrade Huang Ju's death is totally unfounded," an official with the cabinet spokesman's office said by telephone.
http://www.boston.com/news/world/asia/articles/2007/05/09/china_denies_vice_premier_has_died/

Look Who Knows so Much. It just so Happens that Your Friend here is only Mostly Dead.
I believe Castro's masterminding his own slow fade. Of course Castro, a politician without parallel in recent history, may be dead already. Or not. In any case, we may not know when he actually does pass. Castro is likely using his death to his advantage: his final political gambit.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-braudy/is-fidel-castro-mastermin_b_47896.html

And then there was death...

Mendel Claims he Ordered a Zima, not Emphysema
Former U.S. Rep. Mendel J. Davis, who represented South Carolina's 1st District for nearly a decade during the 1970s, died Sunday. He was 64.Davis, the last Democrat to win the district that covers much of the coast, died of complications from emphysema.
http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/575/story/67980.html

You're Right James Prince, it is Real Sad
Former two-division world champion Diego "Chico" Corrales, who lived as hard as he fought, died in a motorcycle crash Monday night in Las Vegas. "He crashed on a motorcycle. It don't look like he made it through this," manager James Prince told ESPN.com as he was arriving on the scene. "He's dead. It's real sad."
http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/boxing/news/story?id=2863505

Harrington Scared to Death; Takes Final Curtis-y
Curtis Harrington, who dived under his seat while watching his first horror film as a child, then went on to be a filmmaker known for his elegant, edgy cinematic forays into the macabre, died on Sunday at his home in the Hollywood Hills section of Los Angeles. He was 80.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/10/movies/10harrington.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

Comonna Wanna Layou to Rest
King Malietoa Tanumafili II, one of the world's longest reigning monarchs, has died at a hospital in Samoa. He was 94. Malietoa Tanumafili had sat on the Samoan throne since the country gained independence from New Zealand in 1962.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/samoan-monarch-dies-at-94/2007/05/13/1178994992661.html

Prostate Cancer killed Yahweh who Killed the Angel of Death... Chad Gadya, Chad Gaaaaadya
Former cult leader Yahweh Ben Yahweh, who was linked to nearly two dozen gruesome killings in the 1980s and said to have ordered victims' ears cut off as proof they were killed, has died. Yahweh, who had been fighting prostate cancer, died in his sleep Monday night, attorney Jayne Weintraub said.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/05/08/america/NA-GEN-US-Obit-Yahweh-Ben-Yahweh.php

That's all for TWID. "Because living is good, and dying... not as good"

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Cinco De Mayo Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

We say goodbye to Tom Poston. We will always remember the time you sold a half a million break pads. But we solider on. Tom wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

In the beginning, God created health...

Johnson Pumped Up About Return
Sen. Tim Johnson returned to his residence outside Washington Friday, more than four months after he suffered a brain hemorrhage. Johnson since February has been receiving treatment at the National Rehabilitation Hospital in Washington. The attending physician at the hospital, Dr. Michael Yochelson, said Johnson continues to show significant progress.
http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=252479

Mayday! Mayday! No Castro Sighting at May Day
Tuesday marked just the third time since leading the Cuban revolution in 1959 that Castro missed May Day, the country's International Worker's day festivities. Nine months without any public appearances has many of his supporters worried about his condition.
http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=8385&sectionid=3510207

He's About One More Hospital Stay from "Thanks for Stopping by , Diego"
Argentine football legend Diego Maradona will enter a Buenos Aires mental health clinic for 13 days for treatment for alcohol abuse, his personal doctor Alfredo Cahe said on Thursday.Former Argentine captain Maradona, who has struggled with cocaine and alcohol abuse for years, was hospitalised for 22 days in April suffering from hepatitis linked to heavy drinking.
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1094499

A week later, there was death...

Goat Wife Dies; Jim Breuer Sa-aaaa-dened
The best-known goat in Sudan has died months after being "married" to a man in the South Sudan capital, Juba, the BBC has learned. Local elders ordered a man found having sex with the goat, later called Rose, to "marry" her last February. Rose, black and white, is believed to have died after choking on a plastic bag she swallowed as she was eating scraps on the streets of Juba.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6619983.stm

Boyd Brought Taste to New Generation
Edward F. Boyd, who as a young sales executive parlayed his assignment to promote Pepsi-Cola to fellow blacks into a war against white racism and black stereotypes, meanwhile selling oceans more soda, died on April 30 in Los Angeles, PepsiCo announced. He was 92.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/06/business/06boyd.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

For the Honor of Grayskull...He was Schi-Rra!
Wally Schirra, one of the original astronauts in the Mercury 7 project, died Thursday at age 84, NASA officials said. Schirra died in California, the officials said. He was the fifth American in space and the third to orbit Earth. He was the only astronaut who flew in three of the nation's pioneering space programs: Mercury, Gemini and Apollo.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/space/05/03/schirra.obit/index.html

"ALVIN!!!" Batiste says Ba-bye
Alvin Batiste, a widely respected jazz clarinetist, composer and educator who played across the musical spectrum, from traditional to avant-garde styles, and was a prolific figure on the jazz festival circuit, died Sunday at his home in New Orleans after an apparent heart attack. He was 74.
http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-batiste7may07,1,1005149.story?coll=la-news-obituaries&ctrack=1&cset=true

Me? Deathpool. You? Dead
Gordon Scott, a handsome, muscular actor who portrayed Tarzan in the 1950s, died here on Monday. He was 80. "He was an absolutely wonderful Tarzan who played the character as an intelligent and nice man who carried himself well, much as my grandfather had originally written it," Mr. Burroughs's grandson Danton Burroughs told The Baltimore Sun.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/05/arts/05scott.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

Livingly Yours,

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - 4:20 Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Fare thee well, Kitty Carlisle Hart. You were a champion of the arts in your life, and you gave in death as well... gave points; points to death pool competitors. Thank you for caring.

As always, priorities straight... Health!

One More Win for Wooden; Legacy Still Alive
John Wooden is resting at home after being released from a hospital. The 96-year-old former UCLA coach had been hospitalized since Sunday. Wooden's daughter reported he is "doing well" and he is thankful for people's thoughts, prayers, cards and notes.
[KTVU]

If the Article's Picture is not Lying, Maradona Needs to Quit More than Drinking
Argentine football player Diego Maradona has been transferred from hospital to a private psychiatric clinic in Buenos Aires for treatment for alcoholism. Maradona has spent much of the past month in hospital with acute toxic hepatitis related to alcohol abuse.
[TLT News]

Putting the Ah Man to Ahmadinejad; Assassination Necessary Claims Amit
Western countries must unite in an effort to assassinate Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, former head of the Mossad Meir Amit said on Wednesday night. "Even though in the past I have been opposed to assassinating Arab leaders, this case is different because it alone is the center of the nuclear issue."
[Jerusalem Post]

Knievel Kleaving to Kristianity; Evel no Longer Evil
Former motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel recently took a leap of faith. Knievel spoke for about 20 minutes to more than 4,000 people who gathered inside the Crystal Cathedral for services on April 1, telling them how he'd been a sinner all his life and now things had changed.
Schuller said Knievel had called him a couple of weeks earlier, telling him, "Dr. Schuller, I've accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior."
[Billings Gazette]

Still a Biggs Tossup. Would you Rather be the Biggs in a Vegetative State or the Biggs who is IN a Vegetative State?
Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs has been told he will freed in Three years. But his lawyer believes the frail 77-year-old crook has only months to live anyway. "I'm very grateful to the Home Office for giving us this concession. But it's very likely Ronnie Biggs will die in jail long before that. He cannot walk, talk, eat or go to the toilet. He is in a vegetative state."
[ThePeople.co.uk]

And, Death; Dumb, Points-less death...

Yeltsin Goes the Way of Communism; Nation and Natasha Mourn Boris
Former President Boris Yeltsin, who engineered the final collapse of the Soviet Union and pushed Russia to embrace democracy and a market economy, has died, a Kremlin official said Monday. He was 76.
[MSNBC]

In the Movie Version She will be Known as Juanita Millender-McDowell
Rep. Juanita Millender-McDonald, a seven-term congresswoman from southern California, died late Saturday of cancer. Millender-McDonald, who was 68, died at her home in Carson, California. The congresswoman had asked for a four- to six-week leave of absence from the House last week to deal with her illness.
[CNN]

Walton Rolled Back; Bouncing Yellow Smiley Face Still at Large
Helen Robson Walton, widow of Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton, died Thursday evening at her home, the company said in a news release. She was 87. Walton was surrounded by family members when she died of natural causes, the company said. "We are so proud of our mother and the life she led," said Rob Walton, eldest son of Sam and Helen Walton and chairman of Wal-Mart Stores Inc.
[CNN]

Moose Passes. Midge to Lead Procession Past Chocklit Shoppe
Harry "Moose" Miller, who played in the first game in NBA history, passed away Wednesday night, according to the National Basketball Retired Players Association. He was 83. He died Wednesday in Latrobe, Pa. from kidney failure, according to the association.
[ESPN]

Parry, Parry, Thrust, Thrust, Good! O'Brien Dies, Rumored to be of Iocaine Powder
Parry O'Brien, who revolutionized shot-putting technique, won three Olympic medals (two gold) and became the first man to reach 59, 60, 61, 62 and 63 feet, died Saturday during a masters swimming race in Santa Clarita, Calif. He was 75 and lived in Rancho Belago, Calif., west of Palm Springs.
[New York Times]

Have a health or death tip? Have a thought to share about TWID? Want to compliment the font choice for the upcoming words "The Commissioner's Council?" Don't forget - our hotline is always open at Deathpool2007@gmail.com Representatives are standing by...

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Jackie Robinson Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor

We thought about changing all the headlines to "42," but instead we will say: Rest in Peace Barry Nelson. We hardly knew ye. Send Jackie our Best. These people, however, are alive. For Now.

Successfully Fords the River; Morale is High
Former First Lady Betty Ford is back home recovering from an unspecified minor surgery she had at Eisenhower Medical Center last week. "Mrs. Ford is resting comfortably at her home," a statement issued Monday by her office read. "She is recovering well."
http://www.thedesertsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070410/NEWS01/704100314/1006

Maradona Proving to be a Much More Unhealthy Diego than San
Diego Maradona has been readmitted to hospital after suffering a relapse following his recent health scare. The former Argentina captain left the hospital after two weeks' treatment for hepatitis brought on by an overindulgence in alcohol, cigars and food. However, he was rushed to the hospital in the early hours of Friday morning after suffering severe stomach pains.
http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/football/article.html?in_article_id=45174&in_page_id=43

Johnson to Pull a Costanza
Sen. Tim Johnson's Washington office is being made wheelchair-accessible in preparation for his return from rehabilitation for a brain hemorrhage. When he does return, Johnson is expected to use an electric scooter to get around. Capitol workers are widening aisles and doorways in his office, as well as the area around his desk, and Johnson's personal bathroom will be refurbished to make it easier for the senator to use.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,265543,00.html

There are No Big Comatoses and Little Comatoses. There are no Degrees of Comatose
An Israeli TV station reported late Thursday that there has been a slight improvement in former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's condition. Sharon turned 79 last month, the second birthday he has passed while unconscious. Doctors have said for months that Sharon is not expected to recover.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/04/12/africa/ME-GEN-Israel-Sharon.php

Losers Whine About their Best; Winners Go Home and Don't have Throat Cancer
Sean Connery has completed annual medical tests for potential throat cancer, and the Sunday Mail reports the beloved actor is "feeling fine." The Sunday Mail reports that Connery's brother in Scotland "also suffers from the condition and their father died from throat cancer at the age of 69."
http://people.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1291746.php/Sean_Connery_checked_out_for_throat_cancer

There's no Headline; We Just Really Like His Daughter's Name
John Wooden was unable to leave the hospital Thursday because of a slightly elevated heart rate, his daughter Nan Muehlhausen said. Wooden was hospitalized Sunday after a bad reaction to a combination of medications.
http://www.dailynews.com/sports/ci_5656502

And now... it's Adam Carolla, playing the role of "Death"

Vonnegut Gone a Bit; He was a Funny Guest on the Daily Show
Kurt Vonnegut, whose absurdist visions and cynical outlook infused such books as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and "Cat's Cradle," has died. He was 84. Vonnegut had been hospitalized for several weeks after suffering brain injuries following a fall at his East Side Manhattan home.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/04/12/obit.vonnegut/index.html

Bad Week for Hos, Nappy Haired or Otherwise
Legendary crooner Don Ho, who entertained tourists for decades wearing raspberry-tinted sunglasses and singing the catchy signature tune "Tiny Bubbles," has died. He was 76.
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/04/14/ap3613007.html

He Brought us Danny Devito and Tony Danza; He Sort of Had it Coming
Stan Daniels, an Emmy-winning TV writer and producer who worked on two of the most acclaimed comedies of the 1970s, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Taxi," has died. He was 72.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/11/obit.daniels.ap/index.html

He Let His Fingers Do More Than the Walking
Ed Charon, 71, a Christian pastor who attracted a degree of celebrity for his record-setting ability to rip apart dozens of 1,000-page telephone books within minutes, died April 8 at a hospital near his home in Sutherlin, Ore. He had an apparent heart attack. Rev. Charon achieved his fifth Guinness World Record last year when he halved 56 Portland, Ore., phone directories in three minutes. He trained fiercely, tearing at his peak more than 100 phone books a day to stay in shape.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/10/AR2007041001689.html

This year better have the best May Flowers of all time...

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Paschal Holiday Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Rest in Peace Eddie Robinson. Lord, he was born a Grambling man... He may be dead, but these people are alive. Ladies and Gentleman, may we introduce: Health!

Ford Goes in For a Tune-up
Former first lady Betty Ford was recovering from unspecified surgery in a hospital Thursday, the office of the late President Gerald Ford said. The surgery occurred earlier in the week and she was "recovering well" at Eisenhower Medical Center, the statement said.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/04/05/betty.ford.ap/index.html

He Went to Sew His Royal Oats and Work at McDowells
Cambodian King Father Norodom Sihanouk returned home from China Sunday after spending nearly seven months overseas receiving routine medical treatment. Chinese doctors had advised him that he had beaten a second bout of colon cancer, but the ageing royal still suffers from a range of health problems including diabetes and high blood pressure.
http://news.monstersandcritics.com/asiapacific/news/article_1288588.php/Cambodian_King_Father_Sihanouk_returns_from_China

"Some of you may go before I do." He Actually Said That

Mormon church President Gordon Hinckley says he's in good health, despite what he calls "rumors to the contrary." The 96-year-old Hinckley told thousands attending the church's biannual conference in Salt Lake City that "Some of you may go before I do."
http://www.ktvb.com/news/localnews/stories/ktvbn-apr0207-gordon_hinckley.25eddbaf.html

Not Sick; Just Wanted a Shave, a Shower, and a Nice Suit
Sean Connery has shrugged off health-scare rumours to throw his weight behind Tartan Week. It had been wrongly claimed the veteran Bond star was ill when he didn't turn up at a Dressed to Kilt bash where he was supposed to be the guest of honour
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_headline=health-scare---what-health-scare---&method=full&objectid=18860776&siteid=66633-name_page.html

And, Like That, Poof, He's Gone
Former World Cup winner Diego Maradona is due to leave hospital next week after 10 days of treatment for excessive alcohol consumption, a medical source said. "If all goes well he will be out next week," said Hector Pezzella, the director of the hospital where Maradona is staying.

http://www.wldcup.com/news/2007/04/20070408_41854_soccer_news.html

You know him as "Boney Finger." Please give a warm welcome to... Death!

Baker Passes; Butcher and Candlestick Maker Reportedly Inconsolable
Laurie Baker, a British architect whose chance meeting with Mahatma Gandhi in the 1940s started him on a lifelong career of designing low-cost and environmentally respectful houses in India, died on April 1 at the Hamlet, a home he designed himself, in Thiruvananthapuram, the capital of the state of Kerala. He was 90.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/08/arts/08baker.html?ex=1333684800&en=8df21d234592ec5a&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Stingley Stung. First by Tatum, Then by Death
Darryl Stingley spent more than half his life in a wheelchair, a symbol of the violence of the NFL, where large bodies collide at high speeds on every play. He was only 26 when he clashed head-on with the Raiders' Jack Tatum during an exhibition at the Oakland Coliseum as they leaped for a pass. On Thursday, the after-effects of Stingley's grievous injury finally took his life at age 55.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2826562

St. John Dies in Storm of Brain Activity
Former Kiss guitarist Mark St. John died yesterday morning (April 5) from an apparent brain hemorrhage. He was 51.
http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003568453

Luigi Survives Battle with King Koopa but Dies of Old Age
Film-maker Luigi Comencini, one of the fathers of the popular comedy genre that marked the golden age of Italian postwar cinema, died on Friday aged 90, officials said.
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/features/20070406-0557-italy-comencini-.html

TWID walked through the Sea of Reeds and got some water in our nose. We're okay, thanks for asking.

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - April Fool's Edition

Death Pool 2007 has concluded it's first annual March of the Living. And what a trip it has been. That's right, one month; zero deaths. For those scoring at home - it's March 1, Death 0. On to the highlights...

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Now, a little Health for you...

I Hope He is Also Being Merry, for Tomorrow He May Die
Argentine soccer hero Diego Maradona is being treated in a hospital in Buenos Aires for alcoholism and excessive eating and smoking.
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/320104,CST-SPT-swire30.article

Shwe Doesn't Sway; Stands Strong and Healthy
Although he has been suffering from an undisclosed form of ill health, Than Shwe stood steady and straight for almost an hour in the glaring morning sun as he spoke to about 500 invited dignitaries, diplomats and journalists.
http://www.chinapost.com.tw/latestnews/2007327/45112.htm

Brooke Astor Turns 105; Sleeps in Room Filled with Cotton Balls
"It is an amazing event," Mr. Kissinger said of Mrs. Astor's birthday. Over all, he said, "the major objective right now is to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/30/nyregion/30astor.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion&oref=slogin

In the spirit of the Ten Plagues, some Death...

He Was an Expert in Baseball and Carneal Knowledge
Hall of Fame broadcaster Herb Carneal, whose fluid and smooth baritone narrated Minnesota Twins games for the past 45 seasons, died Sunday morning of congestive heart failure.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2821291

Coleman Takes on New Persona as "Jewish Dead Guy"
Abe Coleman, 101, a Polish-born professional wrestler promoted as the "Hebrew Hercules" and "Jewish Tarzan" and credited in the 1930s with popularizing the drop-kick move, likened to a flying kick in the jaw, died March 28.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/29/AR2007032902249.html

And the Heels Lost in the Tournament; Terrible Week for Ray.
Jason Ray, a North Carolina student who performed as a mascot for the school's basketball team, died three days after being struck by a car hours before an NCAA Tournament game. He was 21.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/ncaatourney07/news/story?id=2813005

A Happy Passover to All. And in "kol dichfin yeysay v'yachol" style, All who are healthy, let them come and die.

We Remain,
The Commissioner's Council