This Week in Death brings you: Notes from the game of pool! We've set up the balls in the rack and chalked up the cues. Join us as we go solids versus stripes, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Fats Domino-like death pool competitor. Watch out for the 8-Ball, like death... it's an end. Unlike death, it doesn't give you any points.
If you don't have your health update, you have no update.
Some Lady Birds Weren't Meant to be Caged
Lady Bird Johnson, the former first lady, was released from the hospital Thursday and was resting comfortably at her home, a family spokesman said. Johnson, 94, was admitted to Seton Medical Center a week ago and treated for a low-grade fever. She remained at the hospital for observation after the fever subsided.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0
Richie Now Eating For One
In Touch Weekly magazine and TMZ.com are confirming rumors that "Simple Life" star Nicole Richie is pregnant. An unidentified friend says Richie was planning on withholding the news until she was at least three months pregnant.
http://www.13wham.com/news
Look Who Knows So Much? Just So Happens that Your Father Here Is Only Mostly Dead
Italian opera sensation Luciano Pavarotti will release a new album of classical religious music, despite battling cancer. The tenor has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and his weight has dropped dramatically since undergoing a recent operation to remove a tumour. But despite his ill health, the 71-year-old still plans to release an album of sacred songs. The news of the new project follows reports of Pavarotti's daughter claiming the singer "knows he's going to die soon" - a statement which has been disputed by Robson.
http://www.pr-inside.com
Notorious B.I.G.G.S.? Every Move He Makes, We'll Be Watching Him
Ronnie Biggs, one of the masterminds of Britain's Great Train Robbery in 1963, has been transferred to a lower security jail because of his ailing health and advancing years, media said Wednesday. The 77-year-old, who is partially paralysed and can barely speak after suffering several strokes, has been moved from Belmarsh high security jail in south-east London to a prison for elderly inmates in Norwich, eastern England. http://www.khaleejtimes.com
What's that you say? Death Gordon is approaching?
Down and Out Is Beverly Sills
Beverly Sills, the Brooklyn-born opera diva who was a global icon of can-do American culture with her dazzling voice, bubbly personality and management moxie in the arts world, died Monday of cancer, her manager said. She was 78.
http://www.cnn.com/2007
This Boots was Made for Walking, But That's Not What He'll Do
Boots Randolph, whose spirited saxophone playing on "Yakety Sax" endeared him to fans for years on Benny Hill's TV show, died Tuesday. He was 80. Randolph played regularly in Nashville nightclubs for 30 years, becoming a tourist draw for the city much like Wayne Newton in Las Vegas and Pete Fountain in New Orleans.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap
Yabba Dabba Dead!
Will H. Schaefer, a composer whose music accompanied hit television shows such as "I Dream of Jeannie" and "The Flintstones," has died in California, a family friend said Wednesday. He was 78. The Wisconsin-native wrote background music, which is different from theme songs, for such TV shows as "The Flying Nun," "Hogan's Heroes," "The AristoCats," "The Jetsons," "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie" and "The Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson.
http://www.variety.com/article
Walker's Lung Cancer as Deadly as Dy-no-mite!
Former Providence great Jimmy Walker, the only player from a New England college to be selected with the first pick in the NBA draft, died Monday of lung cancer in Kansas City, Mo. He was 63. In three seasons at Providence, Walker averaged 25.2 points per game and scored a total of 2,045, a school record that stood for 38 years.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb
Shekhar-a's Truth-Telling Hips Laid to Rest
Former Prime Minister Chandra Shekhar died of cancer on Sunday in New Delhi at the age of 80, a hospital statement said. Chandra Shekhar, who headed a coalition government as India's 11th prime minister from 1990 to 1991, was a socialist politician from Uttar Pradesh.
http://in.today.reuters.com
26 editions of TWID down, and this edition marks the first of 26 to go. To mark this occasion, the Commissioner's Council proudly introduces "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way. Without further ado...
Entering 2007, it seemed like using a spot on the roster for Fidel Castro would be a wise choice. Halfway through the year, however, it's been looking like Milk. Castro, who came into the year in poor health, was selected by 17 of the 30 teams. Socialite Brooke Astor, who turned 105 recently, was the 2nd-most popular pick, appearing on 13 rosters. Fellow centenarian Charles Lane came in 3rd, with 12 rosters forecasting his demise. Rounding out the Top 5 are Albert Hofmann (a vibrant 101-year old) and subject of many a health update Lady Bird Johnson, each having been selected 10 times. What do they all have in common (besides, you know, being really old)? Well, halfway through the year, none of them have put points on the board. In fact, none of the 18 picks at the top of the frequency list have passed on. Maybe Agent Kay was right after all: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it... The most popular picks to be a source of points have been Kitty Carlisle and Maurice Papon, with each being selected by 5 people.
Don't forget to bring a scoring update!
1. El Esta Adead - 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score - 50 points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard - 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Av S. is My Hero - 41 points (3 deaths)
Don't let the heat drag you down, cool down with a dip in the death pool...
The Commissioner's Council
Monday, July 9, 2007
TWID - All Star Break Edition
Monday, July 2, 2007
TWID - Independence Day Edition
Health is a wonderful thing. Health is a really good thing. Get off your ealth, let's do some health...
More Cowbell Reduces Fever. Healthy Enough Not to Be in Gold Plated Diapers
Former first lady Lady Bird Johnson, 94, left an Austin, Texas, hospital on Thursday following six days of tests and observation. The widow of late President Lyndon Johnson was suffering from a low-grade fever when she was admitted on June 22 to Seton Medical Center in Austin.
http://www.reuters.com/article
A Big No No: Zsa Zsa Has Boo Boo
During Friday's hearing, Zsa Zsa Gabor was absent due to a leg infection. It occurred when she slipped and fell while trying to get out of bed without assistance. "She has got a strong antibiotic for the infection," says Prince Frederic. "We hope the infection is going to go away. If it doesn't, she has to go to the hospital."
http://www.etonline.com
Bush's Christmas List: I Wanna Pony, a Nintendo Wii, and the Death of a Dictator
President Bush on Thursday openly anticipated the death of ailing Cuban President Fidel Castro, picturing it as an opportunity to bring freedom to the Caribbean island after nearly half a century of iron-fisted rule by the fiery communist leader."One day, the good Lord will take Fidel Castro away," Bush said.
http://www.washingtonpost.com
The Second Line on the Headstone is "Until I Turned 90. Being Old Sucks."
When Brooke Astor dies, she wants the world to know "I had a wonderful life." The 105-year-old doyenne of New York society has chosen those words for her headstone, according to a published report. Astor is in frail but stable health, people who have seen her told the Daily News yesterday.
http://www.nydailynews.com
Until death do us part...
Liz Claiborne, founder of the fashion house that bears her name, died today at the age of 78. Claiborne, who retired from the day-to-day operations in 1989, founded the fashion house in 1976. The goal was to create a collection of fashions aimed at the growing number of women entering the workforce.
http://cbs2.com/topstories
Siegel Gives Death Two Thumbs Down
Surrounded by family and friends, ABC's beaming and insightful movie critic Joel Siegel has died in New York, after a long and remarkably courageous struggle with cancer, at the age of 63.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA
Survived American Hurls: Atomic or Otherwise
Former Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa, whose career stretched from Japan's defeat in World War II through the 1990s "lost decade" of economic stagnation, died on Thursday at the age of 87, his office said. For some, Miyazawa's most enduring image was captured in 1992 when he cradled the head of U.S. President George Bush in his lap after Bush collapsed at a state banquet in Tokyo.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm
Everyone Mourned because They Assumed They Were Supposed to Get the Sadness
With the coming of July we have reached the halfway point of the Death Pool. In the immortal (no pun intended. Screw it. Pun very much intended.) word of John Bon Jovi "Whoooooooooooooooa we're halfway there, whooooooooooooooa living on a prayer." A prayer of health, death notices, and scoring updates. In honor of the halfway point, we reproduce for you: The Full Standings.
1. El Esta Adead- 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots- 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score- 50 points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard- 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Av S. is My Hero- 41 points (3 deaths)
6. Go to Hell- 37.5 points (3 deaths)
7. Future Corpses of America- 35 points (2 deaths)
8. Mine are the Deadest- 28.5 points (3 deaths)
9. Life's a Bitch- 25 points (2 deaths)
10. Hey Hey Hey Goodbye- 21 (2 deaths)
11. Beating a Dead Horse- 20 points (1 death)
11. Fatal Swimming Pool- 20 points (1 death)
13. Hagler's Picks - 15 points (1 death)
13. Kraut's Picks- 15 points (1 death)
13. Struck Down by Yahweh- 15 points (1 death)
13. The Death Eaters- 15 points (1 death)
17. Grave Danger- 13.5 points (2 deaths)
18. The Morgue the Merrier- 6 points (1 death)
18. Death is Funny- 6 points (1 death)
18. The Deathtrum- 6 points (1 death)
21. Satan's Waiting Room- 0 points
21. Grateful I'm not Dead- 0 points
21. No Research, Just Guts- 0 points
21. Hagler's Rolls- 0 points
21. Achrei Mos Kedoshim Emor- 0 points
21. Do not Resuscitate- 0 points
21. The Rev. Isaac Bruce- 0 points
21. My Twenty People- 0 points
21. The Tomb Raiders- 0 points
21. Anybody But Me- 0 points
Second Half Projections? Double Your Current Score.
Monday, June 25, 2007
TWID - Gay Pride Parade Edition
This Week in Death brings you: Notes from the game of pool! We've set up the balls in the rack and chalked up the cues. Join us as we go solids versus stripes, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Fats Domino-like death pool competitor. Watch out for the 8-Ball, like death... it's an end. Unlike death, it doesn't give you any points.
Health is the most important thing. And that is why we lead with it...
Lady Bird Has Fever, More Cowbell Not Helping
Lady Bird Johnson spent another day in the hospital Sunday with no major change in her condition, three days after she was admitted with a slight fever, a family spokeswoman said. "We still don't know when she might get to go home, but her condition is stable," spokeswoman Elizabeth Christian said.
http://www.signonsandiego.com
"Better than ever Mentally," But Just as Bad as Always Physically
Alfredo Cahe, personal physician to Diego Maradona, told media on Tuesday that Argentine soccer star of the 1990s is "better than ever mentally" and said the former player had made a tremendous effort to recover from alcoholism.
http://news.xinhuanet.com
Aww, Be Nice to Rowdy. The Guy We Bought Him From Used to Keep Him in a Box Full of Old Hats
I had a chance to chat with Roddy Piper briefly Monday night and he looked and sounded great. Roddy looked to be in great sprits and in excellent health. I visited with Piper and Flair momentarily and jokingly asked them if I could join their "senior's" discussion. The business needs more men like Ric Flair and Roddy Piper that's for damn sure.
http://www.wrestling-news.com
Death is not the most important thing. And that is why we put it second...
I'm a Closer Baby, so Why Don't You Kill Me?
Rod Beck was a menacing sight on the mound, with a bushy mustache and a searing stare that intimidated batters throughout his 13-year career as one of baseball's best closers. Yet his friends in the game knew Beck as a hardworking teammate and a jovial character whose early death saddened players all around the major leagues. Beck, an All-Star relief pitcher who earned 286 career saves, was found dead in his home Saturday. He was 38.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb
Weee ooooooo eeeeee oooooo, Weeeee oooo wum-wum-dead
Hank Medress, whose vocals with the doo wop group the Tokens helped propel their irrepressible single "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" to the top of the charts and who produced hits with other groups, has died of lung cancer. He was 68.
http://www.wtopnews.com/index
Friendly in Life, Dead in Death
Ed Friendly, a producer who brokered the deal that brought "Laugh-In" to television and who created the series "Little House on the Prairie" after noticing his daughter reading the books, has died. He was 85.
http://www.latimes.com/news
No Cause of Death? How Can Norton be so Obtuse? Is it Deliberate?
Jim Norton, a four-time AFL All-Star safety and an original member of the Houston Oilers, has died. He was 68. Norton died June 12 in Garland, a Dallas suburb, according to an obituary released by the Gonzalez Funeral Home. A cause of death was not given.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl
Now Airing on ESPIN 8 (The Ocho): The Rebel Fighter
His eyes filled with tears, acting President Raul Castro paid his respects Tuesday to his late wife Vilma Espin Guillois, a fellow rebel fighter who served for decades as first lady of the Cuban revolution.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap
With great power comes responsibility, and with no deaths comes no standings change. Thus, the Top 5 remain:
- El Esta Adead - 66 Points (5 deaths)
- The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 Points (5 deaths)
- Yiz-Score - 50 Points (3 deaths)
- Die Hard - 46 Points (3 deaths)
- Av S. is My Hero- 41 Points (3 deaths)
The Commissioner's Council
Friday, January 26, 2007
TWID Notes Volume 4
Please accept TWID's sincere apology for our one day delay. The TWID committee was slightly ill this week. Don't worry, had it been serious, it would be one of the headlines...
Former Reds pitching coach Vern Ruhle died Saturday night at MD Anderson Hospital in Houston of complications from a donor stem cell transplant for the treatment of multiple myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow. He was 55.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb
E. Howard Hunt, who helped organize the Watergate break-in, leading to the greatest scandal in American political history and the downfall of Richard Nixon's presidency, died Tuesday. He was 88.
http://www.chron.com/disp
26 days, 4 deaths and counting...
The Commissioner's Council
