At Least He's Got an Exit Strategy

Shuffleboard? West Side Story? Applesauce? Poppycock!

Apparently, it's hang gliding that is the new early bird dinner for the active elderly amongst us. And leading the way: The elder of the George Bush's.

Former US President George Bush celebrated the grand reopening of his presidential museum in Texas with a surprise skydive. It was the 83-year-old's sixth skydive and his first since 2004, when he jumped to celebrate his 80th birthday. He said he plans to skydive in 2009 for his 85th birthday.

Those who picked Bush in DP '08 could not have been hoping for this. But who can blame him? Nothing says "grand presidential museum reopening" like skydiving.

[Best Death Pool Ever]
[Independent.ie]

TWID - Ides of March Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

No points received for two straight weeks. Did you guys stop trying? We here at TWID didn't... And now: Health.

Bush Can't Take the Heat; Should Exit Kitchen
Former President George H. W. Bush was taken to a local hospital Sunday after becoming dehydrated. Bush, 82, was playing golf in the 95-degree heat.
http://www.thedesertsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070312/UPDATE02/70312010

At Least She won't be Distracted by that Bird Over There
According to a source speaking to In Touch, Nicole Richie is in fact now addicted to the prescription drug Adderall, which is used to treat ADD and is a powerful appetite suppressant. "She loves Adderall because she stays awake, and it makes her not want to eat," said the source.
http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=29288

No One Can Resist His Shwe-tty Heart
One western diplomat in Rangoon said that Than Shwe, now in his late 70s, may be in need of a heart operation. This follows speculation from Burmese dissident sources that he might be suffering from cancer.
http://www.irrawaddy.org/aviewer.asp?a=6796&z=166

Two Hundred Percent Health Ratu-fied
The President, Ratu Josefa Iloilo, is in good health, contrary to concerns that at 86 years of age, it was time for him to return home, said his secretary. "I should know because I work with him everyday. If he was seriously ill, I may have had to consider a report to the Prime Minister's Office, but I haven't because his excellency is 200 per cent better than you and I put together."
http://www.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?id=58603

Without further ado, Death

Kuhn Signs Long Term Deal with the Angels
Bowie Kuhn, the bespectacled lawyer who oversaw baseball's transformation from sport to a business of free agents with multimillion-dollar contracts, died Thursday. He was 80.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2799887

Missing that Certain Jeni Se Qua
Richard Jeni, the critically acclaimed, Brooklyn-born comedian and actor whose career began with a nervous five-minute act in a Sheepshead Bay club, died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in California on March 10. He was 49 years old. The cause of death was an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the face.
http://www.canarsiedigest.com/site/tab3.cfm?newsid=18084055&BRD=2384&PAG=461&dept_id=552849&rfi=6

Slightly More than a Feeling
Brad Delp, the lead singer of the 1970s and '80s rock band Boston was found dead at his home in southern New Hampshire on Friday, local police said. Delp, 55, apparently was home alone and there was no indication of foul play, Atkinson, New Hampshire, police said.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/09/delp.dead.reut/index.html

Cancer Sacked Ladd with a Folding Chair when the Referee Wasn't Looking
Ernie Ladd, the giant defensive lineman with the Kansas City Chiefs, Houston Oilers and San Diego Chargers, who was one of the biggest names in pro wrestling during the 70s, passed away from cancer. He was 68. Ladd had been battling colon cancer for the past three plus years.
http://www.bucyrustelegraphforum.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070311/NEWS01/70311004/1002

People Don't Kill People, Annie get Your Guns Kills People
Betty Hutton, who played the brassy blond in about two dozen movies, including the musical "Annie Get Your Gun," has died, the executor of her estate said Tuesday. She was 86.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/12/entertainment/e191738D59.DTL

TWID Feels the need to ask, "Et tu Brute?" We don't even know why we feel that need. We just do.

The Commissioner's Council

TWID Notes! Volume 2

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Syms-like educated death pool competitor.

The Rumors of his Death have been Greatly Exaggerated: A TWID Update
Iran's ambassador to the United Nations says there is no truth to reports his nation's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Hoseini-Khamenei, has died.
http://www.upi.com/InternationalIntelligence/view.php?StoryID=20070105-122356-8351r

Farrakhan Farracan't Anymore
Minister Louis Farrakhan, who recently ceded leadership of the Nation of Islam to an executive board because of ill health, has undergone a 12-hour operation, the organization said Saturday.
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2007/1/6/204433.shtml

Maybe Leo McGarry Should go Down and See how he is Doing
THE US intelligence community still believes Cuban leader Fidel Castro is terminally ill and has "months, not years" to live. Though a Spanish doctor visited Castro last month and denied he has cancer, Ross Feinstein, spokesman for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, said "The bottom line: He is terminally ill."
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21023271-23109,00.html

Johnson Stiffens up: He should be Okay
U.S. Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) underwent an angiogram this morning at George Washington University Hospital. Senator Johnson's overall medical condition has improved steadily over the past three weeks. The next phase of his recovery is expected to take several months and focus upon rehabilitation and physical therapy.
http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail6375.cfm?Id=0,53584

Seems the Martyrs Brigade may turn to Violence
Additionally, members of Fatah's al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades threatened to assassinate Foreign Minister Mahmoud al-Zahar and Interior Minister Saeed Seyam of Hamas.
http://www.albawaba.com/en/countries/Palestine/208135

Now That's HIP!
Former President George H.W. Bush, 82, has undergone successful right hip replacement surgery, the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, said Thursday.
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2007/1/4/171539.shtml?s=ic

Bad News for Than Shwe's Internal Feng Shui
Reports have emerged from sources close to Singapore General Hospital that State Peace and Development Council leader senior general Than Shwe is receiving treatment for intestinal cancer.
http://english.dvb.no/news.php?id=8413

"Wind-driven Wildfire?" Sounds like Half of the Captain Planet Team Went too Far
Suzanne Somers' home was one of four destroyed by a wind-driven wildfire that swept through an exclusive seaside neighborhood of multimillion-dollar homes, a spokesman confirmed Tuesday. "My nature is to look at the glass half-full," Somers said in a statement Tuesday. "I truly believe we will learn something great from this experience." The 60-year-old actress and her husband, former game show host Alan Hamel, were out of town when the fire hit, and a Hamel spokesman said the home was a total loss.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/09/malibu.fire.ap/index.html

This Year's Rules Mean That This Isn't News
Barbaro is bouncing back again. The Kentucky Derby winner is spending hours in his protective sling, needed to deter sudden movement and make the colt comfortable as he fights back from his latest setback from laminitis.
http://www.dailysouthtown.com/sports/208292,122SPT5.article

And Two Non-Points Deaths to Report...

He will Never Again Ponti-ficate
Carlo Ponti, the prolific Italian producer of internationally acclaimed films such as ``Doctor Zhivago'' and ``Blowup'' and the longtime husband of Oscar-winning actress Sophia Loren, whom he discovered as a teenager in the 1950s and helped build into a star, has died. He was 94.
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/16443997.htm

She Made the M in MILF stand for Monster
Actress Yvonne De Carlo, who starred in films opposite Clark Gable and Charlton Heston but won enduring fame as wife of a Frankenstein monster-like character in the TV series The Munsters, has died at age 84.
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/16443997.htm

We hope you are enjoying TWID, hat tip "The Death Eaters," for contributing. Keep in touch with us!