No More Tears

You may have thought tigers were dangerous-how about elephants? Strokes aren't that safe either. On that note...

Today is somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Senator Tim Johnson's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 61! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Tim Johnson appears on 2 2007 Death Pool Rosters and because we're throwing you this party, we leave you with a little goody bag-

• Johnson defeated three-term Senator Larry Pressler in the 1996 U.S. Senate election, making him the only Senate candidate to defeat an incumbent in a year that saw thirteen open seats.

At least Senator Johnson's seat didn't open up this year, yet...

... And Many More!

Johnson is a Year Older, a Year Wiser, a Year Healthier

Last winter, South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson's life was in danger. A brain hemorrhage threatened to take his life from him. A year later though the senator is preparing to run for re-election.

He says doctors are amazed at his recovery, and they believe his speech and physical condition will continue to improve. The 60-year-old's speech is slurred but has improved noticeably since he returned to work in September. He walks around his home and office using a cane, and uses a scooter to travel long distances in the Capitol.

You stay healthy, South Dakota.

[The KREN Reno]

TWID - White Cane Safety Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: This Week in Death! Below are all the notes and news to cover a week's worth of health and death. There are more health notices than the sight-less can read, and more death than blind people on freeways. How is Tim Johnson this week? What's the latest on Fidel Castro? Which Music or TV persona - whom I have never heard of - died? (Hint: It's Bud Ekins) We don't need a seeing-eye dog to lead us down this path, we have TWID to mark the way....

No points deaths... means we jump right to Health...

With Kennedy, It's More Removing the Artery from the Blockage
Sen. Ted Kennedy was released from the hospital Saturday, following a procedure Friday to remove an artery blockage, a spokeswoman for the Massachusetts Democrat said."Senator Kennedy was released from Massachusetts General Hospital today following Friday's successful surgery to remove blockage in his carotid artery. After a few days of rest at home in Hyannis Port, the senator will return to the Senate," said Melissa Wagoner. Kennedy's office said the blockage was discovered "as part of a routine evaluation of Senator Kennedy's back and spine."
[CNN]

Next Time on the Castro/Chavez Super Fun Variety Hour... Fidel and Hugo Perform a Special Version of "Afternoon Delight"
Fidel Castro made his first live appearance on Cuban airwaves since falling ill 14 months ago, sounding lucid and in good humor as he exchanged praise and jokes Sunday with the Venezuelan president. Castro's telephone call to a television and radio program came minutes after visiting Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez aired a new videotape of their weekend meeting in which he sang revolutionary hymns to Castro and called him "father of all revolutionaries." "I am very touched when you sing about Che," Castro told Chavez during his hour-long call to Chavez's "Alo, Presidente!" program — referring to revolutionary icon Ernesto "Che" Guevara, to whom the program was dedicated. "There is electricity in the air," Chavez said, obviously pleased with Castro's call.
[Yahoo!]

Big Stein to Have Plenty of Time for Ham and Cheese with the Fancy Mustard
The George Steinbrenner era is apparently all but over. According to a report in the New York Post, the "Boss" has handed over control of the New York Yankees to his sons Hank and Hal Steinbrenner as he faces up to declining health. George Steinbrenner, 77, was seldom seen at Yankee Stadium this season, attending only three games as his health kept him away. The Post reported that the final details of the new arrangement are yet to be determined — something that will happen in meetings scheduled for Tampa, Florida next week — but Hank and Hal Steinbrenner are to take over the day-to-day running of the team.
[MSNBC]

♪ Hey, Dakotans, it's me. I bet you thought that I was dead. But when I left the Senate I just had a stroke and got a hemorrhage in my head! ♫
A gathering here Wednesday billed as a forum to discuss farm legislation with Sen. Tim Johnson was from the start as much an opportunity for South Dakotans to assess the health and progress of their ailing senior U.S. senator. Johnson, who suffered a brain hemorrhage last December, took several months to rehabilitate before returning to work in September. He still shows signs of weakness on his right side, has slow speech and has difficulty walking - all effects of the stroke-like illness that suddenly afflicted him. But as Johnson tours South Dakota this week - earlier in Rapid City and on to Sioux Falls today - he says he feels stronger than when he visited the state in late August."I feel good. I feel better ... I hang in there, and it's going good, and I look forward to getting better and better," he said Wednesday.
[Argus Leader]

From health, it's just one small skip to death....

God, This Bud's For You. You'll Know He's Fully Cold When the Mountains on His Skin Turn Blue... Like Your Eyes.
Bud Ekins, a devil-may-care motorcyclist who went from racing through the mountain trails and desert rambles of Southern California in the late 1940s to renown as the stuntman double for Steve McQueen in a 65-foot flight over a barbed-wire barrier, died Saturday in Los Angeles. He was 77 and lived in Hollywood. The death was confirmed by his daughter Susan. Though known for that spine-tingling, if not vertebrae-crunching, leap to freedom while on the run from a German P.O.W. camp in "The Great Escape" (1963) and for some dazzling car stunts as well, Mr. Ekins was far more famous among ardent bikers and weekend fans of motorcycle racing.
[New York Times]

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye
Werner von Trapp, a member of the musical family made famous by the 1965 movie "The Sound of Music," has died, his family said. He was 91. Von Trapp died Thursday at his home in Waitsfield. The cause of death was not announced. The family confirmed his death, but declined to comment further. "The Sound of Music" was based loosely on a 1949 book by his stepmother, Maria von Trapp, who died in 1987. It tells the story of an Austrian woman who married a widower with seven children and teaches them music. Born in 1915 in Zell am See, Austria, von Trapp was the fourth child and second son of Captain Georg von Trapp and his first wife, Agathe Whitehead. In the movie "The Sound of Music," Werner von Trapp was depicted by the character named Kurt.
[Yahoo!]

Edwyn Owen Did Believe in Miracles. Unfortunately, His Came Playing Hockey
Edwyn Owen, who played on the 1960 team that won the first Olympic gold medal in ice hockey for the United States, was found dead Friday in a burning car near a park here. He was 71. Autopsy results released Monday said that Owen, who was known as Bob, died of smoke inhalation, thermal burns and heart disease. Investigators have not determined the cause of the fire but said part of the engine probably made accidental contact with dry grass, leading to flames that spread to the car. Owen played on the team that won the gold in Squaw Valley, Calif. He did not play professional hockey after the Olympics. He supported Topeka's minor league hockey teams over the years.
[New York Times]

You Win, Soe, you Lose Soe, Soetimes you Die
Burmese Prime Minister Soe Win has died in a military hospital after a long illness, state media said. Relatives said Gen Soe Win, 59, had been battling acute leukaemia. Since May his duties have been performed by an acting prime minister, Thein Sein. Soe Win's death comes after Burma's military launched a deadly crackdown on anti-government protesters led by the country's revered Buddhist monks. Analysts say his death is unlikely to have much impact on the aftermath.
[BBC]

Wilt Chamberlain, George Mikan -- You're 12th Man Has Arrived
Alec Kessler, a Georgia basketball star who played four seasons for the Miami Heat before becoming an orthopedic surgeon, died after collapsing during a pickup game. He was 40. He appeared to have had a heart attack Saturday in Pensacola, Fla., and was pronounced dead a short time later at Gulf Breeze Hospital, the university said Sunday. Kessler, 6-foot-11, was the captain of Georgia's 1990 Southeastern Conference championship team and became a first-round NBA draft pick. Kessler was an orthopedic surgeon in Pensacola. He graduated from Georgia with a microbiology degree and from the Emory School of Medicine in 1999.
[Yahoo!]

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death
Happy Birthday to:
October 10: Harold Pinter (77)
October 12: Bob Sheppard (97)
October 13: Sacha Baron Cohen (36)
October 13: Margaret Thatcher (82)
October 14: John Wooden (97)
October 15: Yitzhak Shamir (92)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

The points drought continues and, honestly, it's all your fault. The Top 5 remain...
1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 62.3 points (6 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 60.9 points (8 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Struck Down by Yahweh - 53.6 points (6 deaths)

Paris Hilton may think Stars are Blind; We light the way with TWID...
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Labor Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: This Week in Death! Below are all the notes and news to cover a week's worth of health and death. There are more health notices than a hospital, and more death than... well, a hospital. How is Billy Graham this week? What's the latest in baseless Fidel Castro rumors? Which Music or TV persona - whom I have never heard of - died? One way to find out...

Life was points-less this week. As always, health comes first. Eddie Vedder said it best, "Is something wrong, she said. Well of course there is. You're still alive, she said..."

Tim-ber! Johnson Falls Back Into Senate Seat
Sen. Tim Johnson, a Democrat who has been recovering from brain surgery since December, plans to return to his Senate office on September 5, his office said on Wednesday. Johnson will be in his home state of South Dakota for the next few days before returning to Washington and he "plans to be in his Senate office and on the Senate floor on Wednesday, September 5th," according to his office.
[Reuters]

Back to Home, Back to Home. Billy's Got his Lunch Packed Up and His Boots Tied Tight, I Hope He Doesn't Get in a Fight. Seriously, It Would Kill Him
Evangelist Billy Graham may be able to return home this week from the hospital where he has been treated for more than a week for intestinal bleeding, doctors said Wednesday. Graham, 88, is continuing his program of exercise, physical therapy and full meals to rebuild his strength, said Merrill Gregory, a spokeswoman for Mission Health & Hospitals in Asheville.
[Washington Post]

Much Like Lindsay Lohan, Bouteflika Tired of Rumors Starting, Tired of Being Followed. Why Can't We Just Let Him Live?
President Abdelaziz Bouteflika said Tuesday he was upset vis-à-vis the rumours on "his health deterioration". While visiting Sheikh Yossef Al Qaradaoui in Ain Naadja military hospital, the President seemed as if complaining as he was telling him: "I wish I could visit you the day you've been sent to hospital, but I decided to postpone the visit to avoid speculations about my alleged illness."
[El Khabar]

Fidel Fit? Finding Facts Feels Futile
There is no reason to believe that Cuban President Fidel Castro's life is in danger as he convalesces, Culture Minister Abel Prieto said late on Friday. The statement came amid a wave of rumours, especially among the Cuban-American community in Florida, that Cuba's long-time communist leader, who has not been seen in public since undergoing surgery over a year ago, is either dead or on his deathbed. "I have no element that leads me to believe that the life of Fidel is in danger," Prieto told reporters.
[iafrica.com]

Death? Eddie Vedder said it best, "I'm gone, Long gone, This time I'm letting go of it all, So long, This time I'm gone"

Gardner's Heart Shaken; Won't Stir
John Gardner, a prolific British thriller writer who wrote more novels about Bond — James Bond — than Ian Fleming did, died on Aug. 3 after collapsing near his home in Basingstoke, England. He was 80. The cause was heart failure, said his daughter Alexis Walmsley. Mr. Gardner wrote four dozen books in a career of more than 40 years. He was best known for the 14 Bond novels he wrote in the 1980s and '90s, which officially continued the work of Bond's creator, Fleming.
[New York Times]

No Use Crying Over Shattered Kristal; Hilly is Cold, Buried, Gone, Bye
Hilly Kristal, who founded CBGB, the Bowery bar that became the cradle of punk and art-rock in New York in the 1970s and served as the inspiration for musician-friendly rock dives throughout the world, died in Manhattan on Tuesday. He was 75. From its opening in late 1973, when Mr. Kristal, a lover of acoustic music, gave the club its name, an abbreviation of the kinds of music he originally intended to feature there — country, bluegrass and blues, CBGB presented thousands of bands within its eternally crumbling, flyer-encrusted walls.
[New York Times]

Richard - A Jewell of a Man. A Gem of a Person. A Diamond in the Rough. A Sapph--- OK, We're Good Now. Sorry About That
Richard A. Jewell, whose transformation from heroic security guard to Olympic bombing suspect and back again came to symbolize the excesses of law enforcement and the news media, died Wednesday at his home in Woodbury, Ga. He was 44. Mr. Jewell died of natural causes and that he had battled serious medical problems since learning he had diabetes in February.
[New York Times]

♫ No.... one... dies like Gaston ♫
Gaston Thorn, former prime minister of Luxembourg and president of the European Commission, died Sunday. He was 78. A longtime politician and businessman, Mr. Thorn led the government in the tiny Grand Duchy of Luxembourg from 1974 to 1979. He was known as a strong advocate of European integration.
[New York Times]

Nautilus's Mr. Jones Tells Fairy Tales and Stares at (and Marries) Beautiful Women
Arthur Jones, a wild-animal enthusiast, filmmaker and entrepreneur whose Nautilus fitness machines helped to transform the fitness industry and the way ordinary people exercise, died on Tuesday at his home in Ocala, Fla. He was 80. Mr. Jones died of natural causes, his son William Edgar Jones said. Mr. Jones was a rough-and-tumble character who had six wives, a nearly lifelong smoking habit and an affection for exotic animals like rattlesnakes and crocodiles, which he kept at his farm, the younger Mr. Jones said.
[New York Times]

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death
Happy Birthday to:
August 30: Rich Cronin (32)
September 2: Meinhardt Raabe (92)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

No points deaths this week means no change in the Top 5, who remain...

1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 57.1 points (7 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Die Hard - 46 points (4 deaths)

Eddie Vedder said it best again, "Can't find a better TWID"...
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Lemonade Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: A welcome relief from the summer heat! Hop a fence with us and join in on the fun. Get your beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Jump in so we can catch you up on the veritable ocean of news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. Don't forget to bring a towel! There's still plenty of room for everyone, especially for the next few days. Last one in is a rotting corpse!

We bid farewell to three New York icons this week: Phil Rirruto (those are z's), who sanctified many cows in his career, though probably not among them was Leona Helmsley, a notoriously bitter miser, especially when compared to Brooke Astor, who by all accounts was a gregarious, generous GILF.

A toast: Here's to your Health Updates...

Manager and Wife Clash: Should He Stay or Should He Go?
Luciano Pavarotti has been given the go-ahead by doctors to leave the hospital where he was admitted last week with a fever, but he plans to remain for a few more days just to be sure, his wife said Tuesday. Manager Terri Robson had said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that Pavarotti, 71, would be leaving the hospital in Modena "imminently" after doctors had "happily given him the go-ahead to leave hospital and resume his summer holiday." Later in the day, however, the opera superstar's wife, Nicoletta Mantovani, told reporters outside the clinic that he had chosen to remain for a few more days because he feels more tranquil there than at home, the ANSA news agency reported.
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/08/14/ap4019801.html

Graham Growing Closer to God Every Day
Hospital officials say evangelist Billy Graham had an "excellent night" and is in fair condition today as he recovers from an intestinal bleed. The 88-year-old evangelist is being treated at Mission Health & Hospitals in Asheville, North Carolina. No date has been set for Graham's release, but family members say they hope his hospital stay will be brief. On his web site, Graham writes, "God doesn't want our relationship with Him to be like this, and He has provided us with everything we need to grow closer to Him every day."

http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3500491&page=1

Johnson's Brain Back at Full Throttle, Anxious to Filbuster
South Dakota Sen. Tim Johnson will face his constituents for the first time since suffering a brain hemorrhage last December, making a long-awaited public appearance in his home state later this month. Johnson, a Democrat, will appear in Sioux Falls on Aug. 28, his office announced Thursday. He is expected to return to the Senate in September.
http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2007/08/17/news/south_dakota/88e7512da63424468625733a000cfb5e.txt

Why Is This Man Happy? Because He's 368 in Dog Years
For a minute I'm trying to remember whether I've come to see Jack LaLanne or Robin Williams. But I learn a lot from LaLanne - quick. First, he's 92, not 180. And this guy could bench-press me. With one hand. Turns out I'm the proverbial 98-pound weakling, facing down the 92-year-old he-man. "The Jack LaLanne Show" aired for 34 years. What kept them tuning in? LaLanne says he tried to get fans to think positively by peppering his fitness instruction with cheery aphorisms ("Train for life like an athletic event!"). He also made fitness fun—even bringing pets on the show. Clad in his trademark jumpsuit, LaLanne did crunches, then his dog, Happy, did tricks. "It kept the ratings up," he recalls.
http://www.mercurynews.com/opinion/ci_6646737?nclick_check=1

Sometimes, though, you're just toast. Death...

Grand Papa Roach Squished by the Foot of God
Max Roach, the master percussionist whose rhythmic innovations and improvisations defined bebop jazz during a wide-ranging career where he collaborated with artists from Duke Ellington to rapper Fab Five Freddy, has died after a long illness. He was 83. The self-taught musical prodigy died Wednesday night at an undisclosed hospital in Manhattan, said Cem Kurosman, spokesman for Blue Note Records, one of Roach's labels. What distinguished Roach from other drummers were his fast hands and ability to simultaneously maintain several rhythms. By layering different beats and varying the meter, Roach pushed jazz beyond the boundaries of standard 4/4 time. His dislocated beats helped define bebop.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/16/obit.roach.ap/index.html

Leave it to Deaver. Um...Deaver Left
Michael K. Deaver, who arranged some of Ronald Reagan's most memorable photographic backdrops for public consumption and privately gave the president blunt, sometimes contrarian advice, died yesterday at his home in Bethesda, Md. He was 69. The cause was pancreatic cancer, his family said. Mr. Deaver was widely known for creating photo ops that showed Reagan atop the Great Wall of China, at the cliffs of Normandy and filling sandbags to show concern after a Louisiana flood. And he played a central role in planning Reagan's funeral in 2004; the last visual was burial as the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/19/washington/19deaver.html

Behind Every Good Woman's Death Is a Goodman
Carolyn Goodman, 91, the mother of one of three civil rights workers killed by the Ku Klux Klan in the renowned "Mississippi Burning" case, died Aug. 17, it was reported from New York. No cause of death was reported. Mrs. Goodman's son Andrew was killed June 21, 1964, in central Mississippi's Neshoba County, along with fellow civil rights workers Michael Schwerner and James Chaney. Carolyn Goodman was a psychologist who founded a program to help mothers leaving mental hospitals learn parenting skills. She set up the Andrew Goodman Foundation in 1966 to carry on her son's legacy.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/17/AR2007081702213.html

Phake Peter Pan who Phone Pranked a Peck of Peculiar Phreaks has Passed
A blind genius known as the "Peter Pan of phone hackers" because he insisted on being five years old forever has died in Minneapolis at the age of 58. Joe Engressia, who legally changed his name to Joybubbles in 1991, played a pivotal role in the 1970s subculture of "phone phreaks" after discovering at a young age that he could make free phone calls by whistling tones, The New York Times reported Monday. The precursors of today's computer hackers, the reign of phone phreaks ended when digitalization replaced the tone-based system.
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2007/08/20/genius_phone_hacker_dead_at_58/4813/

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death

Happy Birthday to:
August 14: Earl Weaver (77)
August 17: W. Mark Felt (94)
August 19: Bill Clinton (61)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

The last two weeks, Skinny Dipping has looked at age extremes and age breakdown by 10-year intervals. In this thrilling final installation of looking closer at dates of birth, we present a quick glance at a breakdown by the month of birth. Legend has it (or, possibly reported in many news outlets) that there are more births during summer than any other season. Well what about DP's 272 picks with known birth dates? (9 have known birth years but not dates, 2 have neither) Here's the breakdown --- January: 27; February: 24; March: 30; April: 19, May: 18; June: 18; July: 30; August: 21; September: 22; October: 29; November: 15; December: 19. That's 70 in the winter months, 67 in the spring, 69 in the summer, and 66 in the fall. So while the commonfolk may breed more in the heat of summer, it is clear that celebrities are more evenly proportioned. Oh, and since you were wondering: the most popular date of birth among the pool picks is July 4th, celebrated by an astonishing six people. Al Davis, the recently departed Leona Helmsley, Pauline Phillips, Alfredo Di Stéfano , George Steinbrenner, and Gloria Stuart all share a birthday with our nation. The rest of the pool is obviously less patriotic.

Three points-deaths this week, who's up for a change in the Top 5? We are! Kraut's Picks, a recent addition to the Top 5, has jumped two spots since we last checked in. The 5...

1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 57.1 points (7 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Die Hard - 46 points (3 deaths)


Come sail away, as next week our full boat returns...
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Cleveland Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Another week of instructional swim! No need to protest, just come on down to poolside as we review the basics of Death Pool. Feel free to review the crawl, back, breast or butterfly stroke from end to end as we catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. And if you still need a kick board, don't be embarrassed, we'll show you how to blow bubbles in the water. General swim returns next week...

And behind every shady deal, behind every dollar earned... there was God, keeping the books. "Three deposits this week: Tammy Faye Messner, Mohammad Zahir Shah, and Rollie Stiles. Night drop, like always..." Time to get God's stuff down to laundry. They better not over-starch his shirts.

The first health is the deepest, baby I know...

He's Wanted, WAAAAAAAANTED, Dead or Alive
Osama bin Laden, like Mark Twain, may complain that rumors of his demise have been greatly exaggerated. Assuming, of course, that he is still alive. Many believe him to have died. There has been no news of bin Laden in more than a year. But a new video released over this past weekend on an Islamist Internet Web site shows the chief of al-Qaida looking very much alive, much to the delight of his supporters and to the great consternation of many others.
http://www.upi.com/International_Intelligence/Analysis/2007/07/16/analysis_more_rumors_of_bin_ladens_death/4982/

Johnson's Stroke of Genius: Return to Floor as Strom Thurmond
South Dakota Sen. Tim Johnson hopes to be back on the floor of the U.S. Senate sometime in September, former Senate Democratic leader Tom Daschle said Monday. Johnson continues his recovery from a brain hemorrhage last December that required surgery and left him with stroke-like effects. He has limited use of his right arm and hand and lingering problems with speech and walking.
http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/articles/2007/07/16/news/top/doc469c2e5014f5a348726390.txt

Will Willie's Weed Turn Him Into a Half Nelson?
The Red-Headed Stranger might want to change his nickname to No-Show Nelson. Willie Nelson has postponed a show at Memorial Hall that had been scheduled for Tuesday, July 31. Nelson canceled a September 2002 show in Neosho with Wynnona Judd the day before the performance. "His official story was that the cancellation was due to health reasons," said Mark Norris, one of the promoters for that show with Joplin's Access Entertainment. "Willie is happy, and he is healthy and works harder than anyone I know," Elaine Schock told CMT. "It doesn't seem unreasonable to need or want a couple of weeks off, especially when your life is planned a year in advance."
http://www.joplinglobe.com/local/local_story_197200156.html

Pan-Am Games to Fidel: "No Pills for You!"
Fidel Castro has become so glued to the television set watching the Pan American Games unfolding in Brazil that he is forgetting to take his pills. In a column published Wednesday by Cuba's Communist Party newspaper Granma, the convalescing Cuban leader said he was so engrossed with the sports that he was even forgetting to eat.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/07/18/castro.games.reut/index.html?eref=rss_latest

But when it comes to being dead, she's first. That's how I know....

Despite All Her Age, She Still Worked with Rats in a Cage
Anne McLaren, a leading developmental biologist and expert on the embryo who in the 1950s conducted experiments on mice that were important in the development of human in vitro fertilization, died on July 7 in Britain. She was 80. Throughout her career, Dr. McLaren delved ever deeper into biological as well as ethical questions of reproduction and what she termed "everything involved in getting from one generation to the next."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/23/science/23mclaren.html

Matchbox Man Unwell from Disease; Can't Avoid Bright Lights. That Must be Lonely
Jack Odell, a self-trained engineer whose daughter's mischievous habit of taking spiders to school in a matchbox prompted him to make her a tiny steamroller as a substitute — an invention that led to Matchbox Toys, maker of 3 billion Lilliputian vehicles in 12,000 models — died on July 7 in London. He was 87.By 1962, he told The New York Times in an interview, Matchbox was knocking out a million toy automobiles a week, more than the number of real ones made by all the world's major automakers combined. "In my obituary," Mr. Odell said in 1969 as quoted by The Daily Telegraph, "I want it said I was a damn good engineer."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/17/world/europe/17odell.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&ref=obituaries&pagewanted=print&oref=slogin

The Graff Clearly Shows Her Performance is Dying
M. M. Graff, a self-trained master gardener who became a New York legend by nudging, nagging and scolding — but seldom sweet-talking — in her crusade to improve the city parks she loved almost as much as she loathed her given name, Mildred, died at her home in Brooklyn on July 9. She was 97.In an interview with The New York Times Magazine in 1967, Ms. Graff did concede that a garden might not have to be perfect to be nice. She quickly added, "It just does for me."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/22/nyregion/22graff.html?ex=1342756800&en=d450e6e73d5b1716&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Everything Comes Down to Pooh
Shirley Slesinger Lasswell, who licensed rights to the Winnie the Pooh characters to Walt Disney in 1961, then later sued the company over disputed royalties, died Thursday. She was 84. She had been working on developing Pooh for television when she met Walt Disney, who wanted to create TV shows for the characters. She licensed Pooh to Disney in 1961. In 1991, Stephen Slesinger Inc. sued Disney, alleging the company miscalculated royalties due under that deal.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/07/19/america/NA-GEN-US-Obit-Shirley-Slesinger-Lasswell.php

When The Other Guy called him the Other Guy, Well, That was the Straw that broke the Tenor's Head
The American operatic tenor Jerry Hadley noted for his bright lyric voice, lively acting and adventurous choice of repertory, died today in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. He was 55. Friends and colleagues said Mr. Hadley had suffered from severe depression and had had financial difficulties, troubled personal relationships and professional setbacks. He had been on life support at a Poughkeepsie hospital since July 10, when he shot himself in the head with an air rifle, causing severe brain damage, at a house in Clinton Corners, N.Y.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/18/arts/music/18cnd-hadley.html

Back by popular demand, t he Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

Surely you've noticed that after today, 204 days will have passed in the year, and assuming everybody else in the Pool survives the day (though there are certainly no guarantees - it's been busy around these parts the last few days!) the total number of point-scoring deaths to this point will be 26. 283 names were picked at the start of the year, meaning 9% of the Pool has passed on. At any rate, when the year began, the question was asked, "what would happen if every one of the 283 died? All points are awarded. Who would win?" The answer is Yiz-Score would, with 321.8 points, in no small part due to 11 solo shots. Behind Yiz-Score would be The Tomb Raiders (317.3), and rounding out the top 5, Beating a Dead Horse (298.6), The Rev. Isaac Bruce (293.8), and Acharei Mos Kedoshim Emor (291.6). These 5 are the leaders in the "maximum points potential category," meaning that they have the potential to score more points than than anyone else. How are they actually doing? Well, Yiz-Score is in 3rd, and Beating a Dead Horse is doing alright. Meanwhile, despite their huge potential point totals, the other three make up 50% of the teams stuck at zero. Guess Professor Dumbledore was right: It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

Another week, another adjustment!... With a 20-point solo shot, Kraut's Picks knocks Go to Hell out of the Top 5 after a mere one-week stay. Sorry, Go to Hell. We hope your next visit to the Top 5 is long enough to allow you to unpack.

1. El Esta Adead - 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
4. Die Hard - 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Kraut's Picks - 44.8 points (5 deaths)


Don't let the heat drag you down, cool down with a dip in the death pool... an instructional dip, of course.
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Puerto Rican Day Parade Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from the game of pool! We've set up the balls in the rack and chalked up the cues. Join us as we go solids versus stripes, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Fats Domino-like death pool competitor. Watch out for the 8-Ball, like death... it's an end. Unlike death, it doesn't give you any points.

That was for you The Death Eaters, I hope you enjoyed. This is for everyone:

Remission Accomplished! Bush Survives "Not Feeling Well in his Stomach"
U.S. President George W. Bush came down with a stomach ailment Friday at the G8 summit in Germany and is resting in his room. "I'm not sure if it's a stomach virus yet or something like that," Dan Bartlett, counsellor to the president told reporters. "He's just not feeling well in his stomach," Although ill, the president did meet for an hour with French President Nicolas Sarkozy, but the meeting took place in Bush's private room.
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/world/story.html?id=e521a95b-e042-49d1-89ca-137bc8122f4f&k=54270

Good News... She's Throwing up for Two!
Is Nicole Richie pregnant? That's the rumor swirling around the super-skinny reality show star, and she doesn't seem in any hurry to deny it.Richie recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, reports Life and Style, which reports that the tests "confirmed she is pregnant."
http://www.nbc11.com/msnbcentertainment1/13454133/detail.html

Johnson has the Magic; Back to Showtime in No Time
Sen. Tim Johnson, D-S.D., absent from the Senate since suffering a brain hemorrhage late last year, is likely to return in September, if not earlier, Majority Leader Harry Reid said Thursday. "He and his family and the doctors are trying to decide whether he will come back in September or July, but he's really doing quite well," Reid said.
http://news.bostonherald.com/politics/view.bg?articleid=1005350

Redgrave Avoids Dead Grave, Stays Active
At an age when many people begin to tap the breaks, Vanessa Redgrave, 70, appears to have her foot on the gas. This month, she tackles the triple crown of acting, sashaying from stage to TV to film, all the while making it look so easy.
http://usaweekend.com/07_issues/070610/070610whosnews_extra.html#redgrave

Bin Laden Been Laid Back? Hardly, says Taliban Commander
The brother of a Taliban commander killed by US forces has claimed that he received a letter of condolence from Osama Bin Laden, who was "alive, active and well". In a television interview today, Haji Mansour Dadullah said the al-Qaida leader had expressed sympathy for the death of his brother, Mullah Dadullah, who was killed by US forces last month. There are mixed views about whether Bin Laden has significant health problems, particularly with his kidneys. Some have claimed he is dependent on dialysis, others say this is not the case and he is in good health.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/140531.html

"Bring Out your Dead..."

Clark Fought Segregation, Now Spends Eternity with Blackness of Death
Jim Clark, the former sheriff in Selma, Ala., whose violent, highly public attempts to maintain the status quo there in the Jim Crow era are widely believed to have contributed, however inadvertently, to the success of the voting rights movement, died Monday in Elba, Ala. He was 84 and had been living in a nursing home there.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/07/us/07clark.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

Some Lady Gave it to him. She even Signed her Name on it... Ruuth. Marianne Ruuth.
Marianne Ruuth, an active member of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for 49 years, died in Los Angeles June 2 following a lengthy Illness. She was 76. Ruuth published novels and celebrity biographies including bios on Stevie Wonder, Eddie Murphy, the Supremes, Nat King Cole, Bill Cosby, Sarah Vaughan and Oprah Winfrey. She also translated Swedish books into English including "Images (My Life In Pictures)" by Ingmar Bergman. She served as president of the HFPA from 1980 to 1982 and oversaw media relations for the organization for 12 years.
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117966389.html?categoryid=16&cs=1&nid=2568

Abdulle Stricken; Is Straight Up Now. Oh Oh Oh.
Aden Abdulle Osman, Somalia's first president after independence from Italy, died Friday in neighboring Kenya after months of illness, his son said. He was 99. Born in 1908 near the Ethiopian border, in the town of Belet Weyne, Osman was elected president in 1960 after years of leading the Somali Youth League, a nationalist party that struggled for Somalia's independence.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/06/08/africa/AF-GEN-Somalia-Obit-Osman.php

What's the Sound of One Rorty Passing?
Richard Rorty, whose inventive work on philosophy, politics, literary theory and more made him one of the world's most influential contemporary thinkers, died Friday in Palo Alto, Calif. He was 75.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/11/obituaries/11rorty.html?ex=1339214400&en=74964b043eba78bd&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

And now... our semi-occasional update on our points leaders:

1. El Esta Adead - 66 Points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 Points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-Score - 50 Points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard - 46 Points (3 deaths)
5. Av S. is My Hero- 41 Points (3 deaths)

That's all folks,
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Tonga National Day Edition

Sometimes a day late but never a dollar short, This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

This week we said farewell to two politicians from different walks off life, Huang Ju and Craig Thomas, who are now seeking office in the great political system in the sky. Extra points were awarded for their swagger.

But first, without further ado, Health.

Hugo's The Boss: Castro Appears on TV with President Chavez
Talking at length, grinning for cameras and cracking jokes, Fidel Castro appeared stronger and more vibrant Sunday in the first TV images of the ailing Cuban leader in four months.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/03/AR2007060301106.html

Bakker Not Giving Up; Butcher and Candlestick Maker Continue Vigil
Cancer-stricken Tammy Faye Messner said she's not afraid of death, and that she has to fight excruciating pain every day. The televangelist once known as Tammy Faye Bakker is down to 62 pounds and told the TV show "Entertainment Tonight" that she's embracing her inevitable demise.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/05312007/news/regionalnews/ready_for_death_regionalnews_david_k__li.htm

With Death Already Slaying a Senator This Week, Johnson Free to Move On
Signs of Senator Tim Johnson's recovery are becoming more public after his emergency brain surgery more than five months ago. Several statements about public policy and politics have come out of his office in the last few weeks, and even though the Senator hasn't talked publicly since last December he continues to make public comments on issues through press releases and e-mails.
http://www.keloland.com/News/EyeonKELOLAND/NewsDetail6403.cfm?Id=0,57488

Waldheim Overcome by Monday Night Fever
Former Austrian president Kurt Waldheim, who is 88, was recovering Wednesday in hospital from a fever, a spokeswoman said. "His medical condition has improved greatly," since he was hospitalized late Monday, spokeswoman Karin Fehringer said. She said he was in observation in the intensive care unit as a precaution.
http://www.ejpress.org/article/17183

Death is a part of life. And TWID...

Yost Flies Off Into the Sunset... Really, Really Slowly
Ed Yost, who fastened two propane tanks to what essentially looked like a lawn chair, attached that contraption to a 40-foot-diameter orange-striped nylon balloon and sailed above the Nebraska plain on a brisk fall day in 1960, becoming "the father of modern hot-air ballooning," died May 27 at his home in Vadito, N.M. He was 87.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/04/us/04yost.html

Checkered Flag Showed That He Was On His Last Lap
For Bill France Jr., it was never about fame or fortune. Everything he did -- helping build Daytona International Speedway, moving the annual awards banquet to New York City and negotiating the first billion-dollar TV contract -- he did with NASCAR's best interests at heart. Diagnosed with cancer in 1999, France had been in poor health for much of the last decade. He died Monday at his Daytona Beach, Fla., home. He was 74.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/racing/06/04/france/index.html?cnn=yes

Art Imitates Art: Chaos Reigns Supreme
Jörg Immendorff, a German painter best known for crowded scenes depicting an acidic, often autobiographical comedy of art, politics and history, died on Monday at his home in Düsseldorf. He was 61.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/31/obituaries/31immendorff.html


Every Time a Yankee Dies an Angel Gets Its Wings
Clete Boyer, the third baseman for the Major League Baseball champion New York Yankees teams of the 1960s who made an art form of diving stops and throws from his knees, died Monday. He was 70. Boyer died in an Atlanta hospital from complications of a brain hemorrhage, son-in-law Todd Gladden said.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/06/04/sports/NA-SPT-BBL-Obit-Clete-Boyer.php

Until next week at your regularly scheduled time, we remain,

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Cinco De Mayo Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

We say goodbye to Tom Poston. We will always remember the time you sold a half a million break pads. But we solider on. Tom wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

In the beginning, God created health...

Johnson Pumped Up About Return
Sen. Tim Johnson returned to his residence outside Washington Friday, more than four months after he suffered a brain hemorrhage. Johnson since February has been receiving treatment at the National Rehabilitation Hospital in Washington. The attending physician at the hospital, Dr. Michael Yochelson, said Johnson continues to show significant progress.
http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=252479

Mayday! Mayday! No Castro Sighting at May Day
Tuesday marked just the third time since leading the Cuban revolution in 1959 that Castro missed May Day, the country's International Worker's day festivities. Nine months without any public appearances has many of his supporters worried about his condition.
http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=8385&sectionid=3510207

He's About One More Hospital Stay from "Thanks for Stopping by , Diego"
Argentine football legend Diego Maradona will enter a Buenos Aires mental health clinic for 13 days for treatment for alcohol abuse, his personal doctor Alfredo Cahe said on Thursday.Former Argentine captain Maradona, who has struggled with cocaine and alcohol abuse for years, was hospitalised for 22 days in April suffering from hepatitis linked to heavy drinking.
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1094499

A week later, there was death...

Goat Wife Dies; Jim Breuer Sa-aaaa-dened
The best-known goat in Sudan has died months after being "married" to a man in the South Sudan capital, Juba, the BBC has learned. Local elders ordered a man found having sex with the goat, later called Rose, to "marry" her last February. Rose, black and white, is believed to have died after choking on a plastic bag she swallowed as she was eating scraps on the streets of Juba.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6619983.stm

Boyd Brought Taste to New Generation
Edward F. Boyd, who as a young sales executive parlayed his assignment to promote Pepsi-Cola to fellow blacks into a war against white racism and black stereotypes, meanwhile selling oceans more soda, died on April 30 in Los Angeles, PepsiCo announced. He was 92.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/06/business/06boyd.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

For the Honor of Grayskull...He was Schi-Rra!
Wally Schirra, one of the original astronauts in the Mercury 7 project, died Thursday at age 84, NASA officials said. Schirra died in California, the officials said. He was the fifth American in space and the third to orbit Earth. He was the only astronaut who flew in three of the nation's pioneering space programs: Mercury, Gemini and Apollo.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/space/05/03/schirra.obit/index.html

"ALVIN!!!" Batiste says Ba-bye
Alvin Batiste, a widely respected jazz clarinetist, composer and educator who played across the musical spectrum, from traditional to avant-garde styles, and was a prolific figure on the jazz festival circuit, died Sunday at his home in New Orleans after an apparent heart attack. He was 74.
http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-batiste7may07,1,1005149.story?coll=la-news-obituaries&ctrack=1&cset=true

Me? Deathpool. You? Dead
Gordon Scott, a handsome, muscular actor who portrayed Tarzan in the 1950s, died here on Monday. He was 80. "He was an absolutely wonderful Tarzan who played the character as an intelligent and nice man who carried himself well, much as my grandfather had originally written it," Mr. Burroughs's grandson Danton Burroughs told The Baltimore Sun.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/05/arts/05scott.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

Livingly Yours,

The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Jackie Robinson Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor

We thought about changing all the headlines to "42," but instead we will say: Rest in Peace Barry Nelson. We hardly knew ye. Send Jackie our Best. These people, however, are alive. For Now.

Successfully Fords the River; Morale is High
Former First Lady Betty Ford is back home recovering from an unspecified minor surgery she had at Eisenhower Medical Center last week. "Mrs. Ford is resting comfortably at her home," a statement issued Monday by her office read. "She is recovering well."
http://www.thedesertsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070410/NEWS01/704100314/1006

Maradona Proving to be a Much More Unhealthy Diego than San
Diego Maradona has been readmitted to hospital after suffering a relapse following his recent health scare. The former Argentina captain left the hospital after two weeks' treatment for hepatitis brought on by an overindulgence in alcohol, cigars and food. However, he was rushed to the hospital in the early hours of Friday morning after suffering severe stomach pains.
http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/football/article.html?in_article_id=45174&in_page_id=43

Johnson to Pull a Costanza
Sen. Tim Johnson's Washington office is being made wheelchair-accessible in preparation for his return from rehabilitation for a brain hemorrhage. When he does return, Johnson is expected to use an electric scooter to get around. Capitol workers are widening aisles and doorways in his office, as well as the area around his desk, and Johnson's personal bathroom will be refurbished to make it easier for the senator to use.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,265543,00.html

There are No Big Comatoses and Little Comatoses. There are no Degrees of Comatose
An Israeli TV station reported late Thursday that there has been a slight improvement in former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's condition. Sharon turned 79 last month, the second birthday he has passed while unconscious. Doctors have said for months that Sharon is not expected to recover.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/04/12/africa/ME-GEN-Israel-Sharon.php

Losers Whine About their Best; Winners Go Home and Don't have Throat Cancer
Sean Connery has completed annual medical tests for potential throat cancer, and the Sunday Mail reports the beloved actor is "feeling fine." The Sunday Mail reports that Connery's brother in Scotland "also suffers from the condition and their father died from throat cancer at the age of 69."
http://people.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1291746.php/Sean_Connery_checked_out_for_throat_cancer

There's no Headline; We Just Really Like His Daughter's Name
John Wooden was unable to leave the hospital Thursday because of a slightly elevated heart rate, his daughter Nan Muehlhausen said. Wooden was hospitalized Sunday after a bad reaction to a combination of medications.
http://www.dailynews.com/sports/ci_5656502

And now... it's Adam Carolla, playing the role of "Death"

Vonnegut Gone a Bit; He was a Funny Guest on the Daily Show
Kurt Vonnegut, whose absurdist visions and cynical outlook infused such books as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and "Cat's Cradle," has died. He was 84. Vonnegut had been hospitalized for several weeks after suffering brain injuries following a fall at his East Side Manhattan home.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/04/12/obit.vonnegut/index.html

Bad Week for Hos, Nappy Haired or Otherwise
Legendary crooner Don Ho, who entertained tourists for decades wearing raspberry-tinted sunglasses and singing the catchy signature tune "Tiny Bubbles," has died. He was 76.
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/04/14/ap3613007.html

He Brought us Danny Devito and Tony Danza; He Sort of Had it Coming
Stan Daniels, an Emmy-winning TV writer and producer who worked on two of the most acclaimed comedies of the 1970s, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Taxi," has died. He was 72.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/11/obit.daniels.ap/index.html

He Let His Fingers Do More Than the Walking
Ed Charon, 71, a Christian pastor who attracted a degree of celebrity for his record-setting ability to rip apart dozens of 1,000-page telephone books within minutes, died April 8 at a hospital near his home in Sutherlin, Ore. He had an apparent heart attack. Rev. Charon achieved his fifth Guinness World Record last year when he halved 56 Portland, Ore., phone directories in three minutes. He trained fiercely, tearing at his peak more than 100 phone books a day to stay in shape.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/10/AR2007041001689.html

This year better have the best May Flowers of all time...

The Commissioner's Council

TWID Notes - Brunei National Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We dive in for the 200 meter crawl event and we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

No points were earned this week... a disappointing performance by El Esta Adead. On to the Health Notices...

Forget Health... Even Age Doesn't Affect Castro; Niece Says He is "Stupendous"
Fidel Castro's niece said Sunday he was recovering well from surgery and would likely be "very active" again in Cuba's government. "Fidel is stupendous," said Mariela Castro Espin, daughter of acting President Raul Castro. Fidel Castro, 80, has disappeared from view since temporarily ceding power to his younger brother, aside from occasional videotaped meetings with foreign visitors.
http://www.cubanet.org/CNews/y07/feb07/23e6.htm

Next Recovery Step, Piper to Pick a Peck of Pickled Peppers
Legend Rowdy Roddy Piper has been out of action since being diagnosed with cancer in November, but made his first RAW appearance in his hometown of Portland. Looking better than he has in ages, I might add. With tears in his eyes, he took in the thunderous standing ovation given by the fans.
http://www.the-trades.com/article.php?id=5232

Johnson Improves, Still not an Ambi-turner
South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson has left a Washington hospital and entered a private facility to continue rehabilitation. Part of Johnson's therapy has been to deal with weakness on his right side. Johnson will continue undergoing physical, occupational and speech therapy. Doctors say he's made "great progress" and that another test showed no evidence of the tangled arteries that triggered his brain hemorrhage in mid-December.
http://www.ktiv.com/News/index.php?ID=10366

Farrakhan to Say Farewell...to Nation of Islam, not Life
Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan is heading into what's billed as his final major address Sunday, and some Muslims are wondering whether the fiery orator - slowed by poor health - will try to repair old divisions between his movement and mainstream Islam.
http://www.denverpost.com/headlines/ci_5275220

And now: Death! In points-less form...

Britney's Hotness Officially Laid to Rest. Why do These Tears Come at Night?
Family and friends fear for health of pop superstar Britney Spears after she shaved off her own hair during a bizarre outing in Los Angeles on Friday. The singer and mother of two stunned fans and paparazzi photographers when she walked into a hairdressing salon in the city and asked a stylist to cut all her hair off.
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2007/02/18/fears_for_britney_spears_as_she_shaves_o

Prime Minister of Chad No Longer Hanging On
Chad's Prime Minister Pascal Yoadimnadji died from a brain hemorrhage in Paris on Friday after he was flown there for urgent treatment following a heart attack. He was 56.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/02/23/chad.death.reut/index.html?section=cnn_latest

Beer King Hops Off; Who is On Tap to Fill his Boots?
Alan D. Eames, a beer historian and author whose globe-trotting research into exotic brews and their origins earned him the nickname "The Beer King," has died. He was 59. "He used to say that beer is food, nourishing to the body and the soul."
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/02/16/ap3434415.html

"Now There's a Steal by Bird... Underneath to DJ... He Lays to Rest"
Dennis Johnson, the star NBA guard who was part of three championships and teamed with Larry Bird on one of the great postseason plays, died Thursday after collapsing at the end of his developmental team's practice. He was 52.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2775430

Death and Taxes... TWIT to Follow. We Remain...

The Commissioner's Council

TWID Notes - The Valentine's Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We ride Cupid's Golden Arrows as they take us from the shallow to the deep end, and catch us up on all the news we need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Fare thee well, Charlie Norwood and Maurice Papon. Watch out, rest of El Esta Adead's roster... Fair Warning.

Johnson unfazed by low-functioning brain - Back to Work
Sen. Tim Johnson is reading news clippings and starting to do some office work from the hospital, almost two months after suffering a life-threatening brain hemorrhage.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/4541998.html

Ali Khamenei in danger of becoming Ali Coma-nei
The War of the Persian Succession is on, as Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei's worsening condition becomes an open secret. His bad health is discussed in the Iranian press, and in the last week the former president and the supporters of potential successors have begun literally and figuratively fighting each other all over the country.
http://www.aei.org/publications/filter.all,pubID.25615/pub_detail.asp

And now, other deaths. We mourn their losses and hope that they were picked in the Death Pool in the Sky...

Good Genes Gone Bad. Guaranteed Not to Run for Reelection
Former Congressman M.G. "Gene" Snyder, who represented Kentucky for 11 terms in the House of Representatives, died late last night in Naples, Fla., according to a family friend. He was 79.
http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770217015

The tragedy was that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog had Mustard... For Him to Poupon!
Ian Richardson died Friday at age 72, his agent said. In addition to his many stage, screen and TV roles, Richardson also appeared in one of the mustard commercials as the man in the Rolls-Royce who asked, "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?"
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/09/obit.richardson.ap/index.html

At last, Her Feet Finally Rest
Florence Zacks Melton, who took a material invented as a helmet liner for World War II tank crewmen and turned it into cushy foam-rubber slippers that have soothed billions of tired feet and have been a familiar gift for four decades, died Jan. 8 near her home in Boca Raton, Fla. She was 95.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/14/obituaries/14melton.html?ex=1329109200&en=c4fd487775e06c16&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Hit The Mute Button for a Moment of Silence
Robert Adler, the co-inventor of the wireless television remote control, has died at the age of 93 in Idaho, Zenith Electronics said in a statement on Saturday.
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1080574

We're Just glad El Esta Adead didn't pick us...

The Commissioner's Council