Tuesday, April 29, 2008

LSD Discoverer Albert Hofmann Takes Trip of His Life

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Albert Hofmann, who died on Tuesday aged 102, synthesised lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) in 1938 and became the first person in the world to experience a full-blown acid trip.

“I would rather you hadn’t discovered LSD,” Hofmann’s managing director told him. In the end the decision was taken to stop all further production.

Hofmann laid some of the blame at the door of Dr Timothy Leary. In his autobiography, he described meeting Leary in 1971 in the railway station snack bar in Lausanne. Hofmann began by voicing his regret that Leary’s experiments had effectively killed off academic research into LSD and took Leary to task for encouraging its recreational use among young people. Leary was unabashed.
Congratulations and 4 points each awarded to BestDeathPoolRosterEver.BlogSpot.Com, A Time to Kill, Live Like You Were Dying, Blue, Do Not Resuscitate, Daddy to Be Dead Mates, The Kick the Bucket List, Up The Arsenal!, and They Are Now As Cold As Ice. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.

[Daily Telegraph]

Phil Harison Announces His Final Green

Phil Harison, who introduced everyone from Ben Hogan to Jack Nicklaus to Tiger Woods during his 60 years as the starter on the first tee of the Masters, has died. He was 82. He died Sunday of natural causes, Augusta National Golf Club said.

Harison was one of two people to attend every Masters since it began in 1934, and he became a familiar voice to the many fans who grew accustomed to his Southern drawl and understated manner of announcing each player. “Fore please, Jack Nicklaus now driving,” he would say.

“We are deeply saddened by the loss of Phil Harison,” Masters chairman Billy Payne said Monday. “Phil was a cherished member who made significant contributions to the Masters. As the starter on the first tee, he was the face of the Masters to many patrons. He did a wonderful job in that role.”
We hope that the only person remaining who has lived to see every Masters since 1934 will make it to next year's event. Otherwise, his name will enter the record books next to Jean Van de Velde's.

[San Diego Union Tribune]

Monday, April 28, 2008

Pope Not Holding Same Mass, But Remains Strong

We agree with the Vatican on this one - you can't trust the French. A French newspaper report suggested that Pope Benedict XVI is suffering from poor health.

An article published April 25 in Le Figaro said the pope looked fatigued at times during his U.S. visit. It's no secret, the newspaper said, that the pope has a "fragile heart." Le Figaro said the pope had reduced the number of meetings and audiences before and after the U.S. trip and noted that he had not held his weekly general audience two days after his return.
But the Vatican shot back in response to the allegations.
"Certainly the pope is a man of 81 years, but he is well and is carrying out all his tasks, as everyone can see on live TV," Jesuit Father Federico Lombardi, the Vatican spokesman, said April 26.

"This was a demanding visit, long and tiring, in which he carried out all his commitments brilliantly without giving the slightest indication of uncertainty and without having to modify or reduce his program at all," Father Lombardi said.
We believe that this claim stemmed from the abundance of media coverage geared at the Pope in the past few weeks thanks to his trip to the U.S. We doubt that these kinds of rumors will spring up when the Pope visits Sardinia in September. But these sort of rumors were once more vicious, we suppose.

[Catholic News Service]

Some Say John Wilkes Booth Filled More Days

We investigated the story behind Abraham Lincoln's death a little while ago. We posited that it wasn't John Wilkes Booth's weapon that killed the President. Now we wonder if Booth himself may have died another way.

"Pop! A shot was fired and, 143 years ago Saturday, John Wilkes Booth - assassin of Abraham Lincoln - collapsed to the ground, mortally wounded in the neck. That's what history says.

But two Booth family descendants - Joanne Hulme of Philadelphia, and her sister, Virginia Kline of Warminster, Pa. - aren't convinced. They think that another man was killed and that Booth, who they believe was the president's assassin, lived to a ripe old age.
The sisters say that using DNA tests you can prove that Booth escaped on the day he supposedly died. Another researcher has requested for specimen taken from the scenes then in order to investigate the claim. They want to set the record straight.
"It's not too late to set the record straight," added Jan Herman, editor-in-chief of Navy Medicine, the Navy's official medical journal. "This is not a minor footnote in history."
Booth was an actor by trade. We think that even the best actor would have a hard time convincing any audience that he was actually deceased. Even if Booth could somehow have pulled it off, he did so by dragging someone else's reputation in the mud.

[Arizona Republic]

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Enrico Donati Finds His Death to be Surreal

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Enrico Donati, an Italian-born American painter and sculptor considered by many in the art world to be the last of the Surrealists, died on Friday at his home in Manhattan. He was 99. The cause was complications of injuries sustained in a taxi accident in July, said David Oxman, a spokesman for the family.

As Surrealism faded, Mr. Donati moved on. “He reinvented himself four or five times,” said his biographer, the artist and critic Theodore F. Wolff.
Congratulations and 24 points awarded to Oldies But Goodies. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.

[New York Times]

Friday, April 25, 2008

Paul Harvey Keeps His Airwaves Open and Alive

Video may have killed the radio star, but one radio star is coming back this week after overcoming recent health issues.

Paul Harvey will be back on the radio Monday, with his daily "Rest of the Story" features. The ABC Radio Networks legend has been off the air dealing with health issues since February 29. He'll also begin voicing commercials again on Monday.

"We're certainly pleased to welcome Paul back to the air as he eases himself back into the saddles," said ABC Radio Networks SVP/Programming John McConnell. "Our affiliates and advertisers have been anxiously awaiting his return, as have the millions of Paul Harvey fans across the country. We look forward to his continued progress."
Harvey is one of the few remaining active radio personalities who is older than the medium itself. Just imagine if Harvey had decided to be a professional wheel.


My Heroin

Didn't this guy see "Pulp Fiction?" I think we can all learn a very important lesson from this. When taking heroin do not smoke or snort it, rather use the traditional intravenous method of intake.

I don't know how one becomes a "dancing machine" but I think it's fair to assume heroin may play a role.

Today is somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Gene Gene the Dancing Machine's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 76! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Eugene Patton's name appears on "Yiz-Score: 2007 DP Champ's" roster

  • Patton appeared in 1980s "The Gong Show Movie" and had some dialogue.
I've caught snippets of "The Gong Show" and I have no idea how they turned that into a movie.

Today is somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former Harlem Globetrotter Meadolark Lemon's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 76! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Meadowlark Lemon's name appears on "Deep Sleepers'" roster
  • Over his career Lemon played in more than 16,000 games for the Globetrotters.
That means he had a career record of 16,000-0. That's pretty good. Of course they were all against the Washington Generals, so I guess you be the judge.

... And Many More!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Peter Falk Found Acting Erratic on Street Scene

Erratic. That's one way to describe Peter Falk's behavior on the street the other day. It's led some to wonder about the state of the actor's health.

The 80-year-old former Columbo star looked dazed and confused as he walked near his Beverly Hills home on Tuesday afternoon. The two-time Oscar nominee was spotted waving his arms in the air and muttering to himself. He looked almost as dishevelled as the famous character he played in the 1970s detective programme.

Another passer-by, who refused to be named, said the star looked to be disorientated. Someone eventually called police, but when officers arrived on the scene Falk convinced them that he didn't need help.

Falk is used to playing the absent-minded role, from his days starring as Lt. Columbo. We're confident that when the police arrived to the scene that Falk took over the investigation immediately. What we want to know is whether he took himself in for questioning.

[Sunday Mail]

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Legend of Shirley Temple: Black Broken Arm

We wanted to celebrate with Shirley Temple today. Instead, she's stuck at home on her 80th birthday nursing her most recent wounds. No, it's not a result of her childhood stardom bursting unexpectedly on her.

"I broke my arm last week at my house, it hurts quite a bit," she told Reuters on Tuesday. In recent years, Black has lived quietly in Woodside, California, an upscale town in Silicon Valley south of San Francisco.

"I'm spending my birthday quietly at home," Black said, adding that her broken arm limited her ability to receive visitors. "People should turn on the lights when they are walking around in the dark," she joked.

It sounds to us like Shirley Temple took her married name - Black - a bit too literally. It's supposed to be a slow fade to black, not a walk in the dark.


Now That's a Tractor Story

Dying on your birthday is bad enough. But compound that with dying by tractor-that's just an awful way to go.

Let's hope these people stay far away from tractors today...

Today is somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? British Director Ronald Neame's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 97! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Ronald Neame's name appears on "Famous Last Words's" and "Live Free or Die Hard's" rosters

  • As a producer, Neame was responsible for three classics of British cinema - Brief Encounter (1945) and Great Expectations (1946) - for which he co-wrote the screenplays - and Oliver Twist (1948) - among others.
When someone was responsible for classics, that's always a good time to take them in DP.

Today is somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Actress Shirley Temple's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 80! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Shirley Temple's name appears on "Do Not Resuscitate's" and "Last Call's" rosters
  • In 16 of the 30 films Temple made for Fox, she played characters with at least one dead parent. This was part of the formula for her films, which encouraged the adults in the audience to take on the role of her parent
Is it me or is that just a sick type-cast to be stuck in?

Today is somebody else's else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former Football Player Joe Ferguson's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 82! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Joe Ferguson's name appears on "Last Call's" roster
  • The number 12 has been retired by the Bills in honor of both Ferguson and Jim Kelly.
So next time you go to a Bill game you can answer intelligently as to who that other guy who had his number 12 retired is.

... And Many More!

God Save the Queen

There are many bad things about dying. However, we on BDPE like to look at the positives of death. And one of those positives is the fact that you get your child pornography charges dropped if you die.

Speaking of child pornography, the Queen of England had a birthday this week. What does that have to do with kiddie porn? You guessed it-absolutely nothing. (I hope.)

Sunday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Queen Elizabeth II's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 82! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Queen Elizabeth II's name appears on "the Garden of eden's" and "The Quit Parade's" and "Up The Arsenal!'s" rosters

  • Elizabeth II married Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark) on 20 November 1947. The couple are second cousins once removed: they are both descended from Christian IX of Denmark – Elizabeth II is a great-great-granddaughter through her paternal great-grandmother Alexandra of Denmark, and the Duke is a great-grandson through his paternal grandfather George I of Greece.
So maybe she isn't into kiddie porn, but she is definitely into incest to some degree. But really, what royal isn't?

... And Many More!

Old Violin Strings a New Bow (Tie)

Old people. They service our society in so many ways. One of the ways, they don't service society is by the way they drive. So it stands to reason it is a poor idea for an older man to take the wheel for no reason after waking up. Walter Ross didn't stand to reason.

At least old people are still good at some things. For example, they are very good on staying on Supreme Courts until a member of their political party get elected, even if they are senile already.

Sunday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens' Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 88! And Never been Kissed By... Death

John Paul Stevens' name appears on "the Garden of eden's" and "Deep Sleepers'" rosters

  • Stevens is the only current Associate Justice to have served under three Chief Justices.
That's what happens when you are appointed when bow-ties are still in.

... And Many More!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tony Snow Struggles to Stay the Course to Health

This should have been a sweet day for Tony Snow. Instead, it's bittersweet.

Former White House Press Secretary Tony Snow has canceled a series of speaking engagements at Eastern Washington University because of illness. Snow was supposed to make a series of appearances Tuesday at EWU. However, he was taken to the hospital to be treated for exhaustion, in consultation with his doctor, according to a source at the University. The source said he checked into the hospital at 9:30 a.m.
Snow's cancer is reportedly in remission. This appears to us to be a precautionary hospital visit. While Snow is still expected to make a full recovery, we doubt those speaking engagements will ever be made up. Which means that they were cancelled due to Snow.


Trust in Papa Ray Charles' Money

Financial management and family members are battling for money left in trusts by singer Ray Charles before his death in 2004.

Several of Charles' 12 children have accused executive Joe Adams of not only hindering the "Georgia on My Mind" star's estate bestowal, but damaging their father's reputation, the Los Angeles Times reported Sunday.

"The biggest issue with me is disrespect for the family and kids," said the Rev. Robert Robinson, who is one of Charles' sons. "If you respect a man and his work, then you respect his kids. His blood is flowing through our veins."
The family thinks that Adams took advantage of Charles' name when he released two Charles albums after the singer died. They also say that he reallocated some of the money that Charles left in trusts, profitting from the late singer.

Charles probably had no clue that he'd be leaving this mess around for others to sort through.

[United Press International]

Monday, April 21, 2008

Humor Has It That Teri Garr is Recovering Happy

Teri Garr has mostly recovered from a brain aneurism she suffered in December 2006. She wants you to know that she's up and running again.

[T]he actress, 61, is back on her feet, joking that the best place to store her wheelchair is at the bottom of the swimming pool "because I don't need it."

She still has, as she puts it, "a touch of MS (multiple sclerosis)," but Garr faces the disease with humor.
It sounds to be us like Garr won't take this disease sitting down.

[Houston Chronicle]

Friday, April 18, 2008

Any Way You Cut It, Roger Ebert's Surgery Rolling

Who Maimed Roger Ebert? We know he's not well. But all he seems to do nowadays is go in for and come out of surgery. He's in. He's out. He's in. He's out.

Roger Ebert is recovering at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago after surgery to repair a minor hip injury. He tripped and fell at the Pritikin Center in Florida, where he had gone to continue physical therapy in preparation for his film festival.

"The show must go on!" Ebert says. "I am doing fine and if the doctors clear me, I will be there." The Roger Ebert Film Festival (Ebertfest) is sponsored by the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign April 23-27.
Had doctors not liked the end result, perhaps Ebert would have been bedpanned.


Hot Rod (Not the Bad Andy Samberg Movie)

I don't particularly care for fish, but it strike me as odd to eat as fish that is poisonous.

Roddy Piper's friend Ric Flair probably knows much more about this, being that he is the "Nature Boy and all.

Yesterday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former Professional Wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 54! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Roddy Piper's name appears on "BestDeathPoolRosterEver.BlogSpot.Com's" roster

  • On July 27, 2007, Piper was set to team up with Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake in a tag team match against Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Chris "The Crippler" Costello at Clash at the Cove 9, Costello's promotion IAW's yearly event at Coveleski Stadium in South Bend, Indiana. However, allegedly, due to a family emergency, Piper had to leave the stadium early to tend to his family. The match was then made a triple threat and Costello won by a countout in under ten minutes.
I don't know what kind of family emergency would possibly be more important that a reunion with Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. Some one has some explaining to do.

... And Many More!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Danny Federici's Hungry Heart Stops Playing

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Danny Federici, the longtime keyboard player for Bruce Springsteen whose stylish work helped define the E Street Band's sound on hits from "Hungry Heart" through "The Rising," died Thursday. He was 58. Federici, who had battled melanoma for three years, died at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York.

Federici had taken a leave of absence during the band's tour in November 2007 to pursue treatment for melanoma, and was temporarily replaced by veteran musician Charles Giordano. At the time, Springsteen described Federici as "one of the pillars of our sound and has played beside me as a great friend for more than 40 years. We all eagerly await his healthy and speedy return."
Congratulations and 24 points awarded to Daddy to Be Dead Mates. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.

[Yahoo! News]

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Chaos Theory Puts Edward Lorenz in a Deadly State

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Edward Lorenz, the father of chaos theory, died at his home in Cambridge, Mass., Wednesday. He was 90.

"Of all the geniuses of that era, he was the quietest and most humble and the most kind," said Jerry Mahlman, a longtime friend.
Congratulations and 24 points awarded to Angelos or Bust. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.


Pope on a Rope

Not to brag or anything, but I've been to many Mets games, and I haven't had much trouble using the escalators.

It seems as though the Pope does have some sort of direct link to God. How else can you explain him holding mass at Nationals Park and Yankee Stadium, but not at Shea Stadium?

Today is somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Pope Benedict XVI's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 81! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Pope Benedict XVI's name appears on "Daddy to Be Dead Mates'" roster

  • Pope Benedict XVI's interests include classical music and cats. He owns a specially engraved white Apple iPod and enjoys listening to music on it.
One of the many perks of being the Pope. All of those are of course offset by the fact he can't have sex. But at least he can listen to Mozart all he wants.

... And Many More!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Arlen Specter Can't Fund A Clean Bill of Health

A little while ago, we told you about Sen. Arlen Specter's book about how he overcame Hodgkin's disease in 2005. Turns out, though, he wasn't completely out of the woods.

Sen. Arlen Specter's Hodgkin's disease, which he battled in 2005, has recurred, but doctors said that its return was detected early and that Specter has an "excellent chance" of once again achieving remission, according to a statement issued Tuesday by the senator's office.

Specter, 78, will continue to perform his Senate duties and conduct his campaign for re-election to a sixth term but will undergo 12 weeks of chemotherapy, the written statement said. The recurrence was found during a routine scan, which flagged small lymph nodes in Specter's chest and abdomen. A follow-up biopsy of one of the chest lymph nodes was positive for recurrence, but a bone marrow biopsy was negative.
Doctors cite the early diagnosis as the explanation for the optimism they have this go around. The senator says that he's beaten a lot of political opponents during his career and he is ready to win this second bout with Hodgkin's disease. We can't help but wonder when the next book in the miniseries is due out.


Marvin J. Miller Will You Please Go Now!

First squirrels, now horses? I think I'm going to sign up for my local chapter of the speciesism movement. We have to get rid of these monsters post haste.

You know who else liked to get rid of monsters? Marvin Miller. Of course that's only if by monsters you mean low salaries for baseball players.

Yesterday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former Executive Director of the Major League Baseball Players' Association Marvin Miller's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 91! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Marvin Miller's name appears on "CraigsDeathList.org's" roster

  • In 1992, the Hall of Fame broadcaster Red Barber said, "Marvin Miller, along with Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson, is one of the two or three most important men in baseball history."
Today is the 61st Anniversary of Robinson breaking the color barrier.

... And Many More!

Beverly Cleary, Age 92

I always knew there was reason for me to be afraid of squirrels.

This is probably the reason why Beverly Cleary wrote about mice. No one's afraid of a mouse on a motorcycle. A squirrel on a farm is, sadly, another story.

Saturday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Children's Author Beverly Cleary's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 92! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Beverly Cleary's name appears on "The South Shall Rise (from the Grave) Again's" and "Grateful(ly) Dead's" rosters

  • Cleary's first full-time job was as a librarian in Yakima, Washington, where she met many children who were searching for the same books that she had always hoped to find as a child herself. In response, she wrote her first book, Henry Huggins, which was published in 1950.
If I were her, this would have made me write a lot of coloring books and connect the dots book. Maybe I'd throw in a word find as well.

... And Many More!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Constipation

Today is the 143rd anniversary of Abraham Lincoln being shot at Ford's Theatre. He died a day later, on Tax Day. Every grade schooler knows that it was John Wilkes Booth who killed the 16th President. What you may not know, however, is that may not be true. At least according to Palo Alto physician and amateur historian John Sotos, who says that President Abraham Lincoln was suffering from a lethal genetic cancer syndrome when he was shot.
"Lincoln was a rare man with a rare disease," said Sotos. He has self-published a 300-page book and 400-page database to support his conclusion, based on an exhaustive analysis of Lincoln photographs and historical eyewitness descriptions of the president's health. "This solves a puzzle."

Lincoln's health has fascinated medical sleuths. In 1962, it was suggested that his great height and long limbs were linked to a genetic disorder called Marfan syndrome. Others have proposed alternate ailments - Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, perhaps, or Stickler syndrome. Some say he suffered from depression or exhaustion.
The late president's health had long puzzled Sotos.
Not yet done, Sotos and others speculate about illnesses that other U.S. Presidents suffered from at the time of their deaths.
George Washington may have suffered dementia during his last years in office; James Madison suffered seizures; Calvin Coolidge grew depressed after the death of his son; after a lifetime of heavy drinking, Franklin Pierce died of cirrhosis of the liver...He diagnosed severe sleep apnea in William Taft and graphed the president's weight gains and losses.
After reading an article about thyroid cancer last year, Sotos pieced his theory together. It explained President Lincoln's lanky build, chronic constipation, hooded eyes, asymmetric jaw and the lumps on his lips, he said. Lincoln's health was already weakening at the time of his assassination.

We fear that maybe Sotos is just trying to cover up for President Lincoln's bad looks and chronic constipation. While President Lincoln's ass may have been his primary concern, it was inevitably Lincoln's assassination that brought him down twice as hard.

Elizabeth Taylor Gives Another Breath-Taking Performance

We can only assume at this point that Elizabeth Taylor doesn't think her health problems are as scary as others think they are. Or else maybe she's doing her best to act like she doesn't.

Elizabeth Taylor was reportedly rushed to hospital after mixing alcohol and prescription drugs. According to the National Enquirer magazine, the 76-year-old actress woke her assistant at 4am on April 6 after she started vomiting and had trouble breathing.

She was rushed to Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center where she was treated before returning home later that afternoon. A friend of the legendary star said: "Liz was panicking. She really thought she was going to die."
Dating back to the 1980s, Taylor's had two stays at the Betty Ford Clinic.

'Cleopatra' actress Elizabeth was previously treated at the Betty Ford Clinic in 1983 for chemical dependency and in 1988 for problems with painkillers. We sense that this star's light has been teetering out for so long it's hardly even worth worrying about it anymore.

[Monsters and Critics]

Pauline Phillips' Holding onto 'Dear' Life

Dear Abby,

I want to spend more time with my sick mother. She barely recognizes me, though. What's the solution? - J.P.

Dear J.P.,

Sounds like you should take over her syndicated newspaper column and then speak glowingly about your mother at any chance you get. It'll draw you two closer, even if she has trouble expressing it.

Jeanne Phillips had been co-writing Dear Abby for more than a decade before she publicly took over in 2002, when it became known that her mother was suffering from Alzheimer's disease. While some readers may have expected the quality to suffer, the younger Phillips brought her own style to the column, and it's as popular as ever - receiving more than 10,000 e-mails and letters per week.

"For a long time, as she became progressively sicker, I was writing it, and she was editing me when she could. And she was a very fine editor, so perhaps that smoothed the transition," says Jeanne Phillips.
Now that Jeanne has a steady hold on the column's reins - daily readership around the world is at roughly 110 million people - you may be wondering about her mother, Pauline.
"I miss my mother. We were very close," Phillips says. "She has Alzheimer's, and she's here, but she's not here. That's rough."
It sounds to us like a case where when the bonding gets rough, the tough get writing.

[San Francisco Chronicle]

John Wheeler's Death Leaves Black Hole Behind

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

John A. Wheeler, a visionary physicist and teacher who helped invent the theory of nuclear fission, gave black holes their name and argued about the nature of reality with Albert Einstein and Niels Bohr, died Sunday morning at his home in Hightstown, N.J. He was 96. The cause was pneumonia, said his daughter Alison Wheeler Lahnston.

Max Tegmark, a cosmologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said of Dr. Wheeler, “For me, he was the last Titan, the only physics superhero still standing.”
Congratulations and 18 points each awarded to CraigsDeathList.org and Last Call. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.

[New York Times]

Friday, April 11, 2008

Take out the Trash Day

I don't even know what to say about this story. There are so many questions. How was this guy picked up by a garbage truck? Why didn't the garbage men realize they just picked up a man and not trash? I've posted some bizarre stories in my day, but this is certainly up there.

However, this is mighty apropos for our birthday today because as Governor of New York, Hugh Carey advocated using trash as an alternative fuel. You have to think the more people in the trash the better the fuel.

Today is somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former Governor of New York Hugh L. Carey's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 89! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Hugh L. Carey's name appears on "The Quit Parade's" roster

  • In April 2006, a few days after his 87th birthday, Carey endorsed then-Attorney General Eliot Spitzer as a candidate for Governor; Spitzer went on to win the election by a large margin, and was sworn in as the 54th Governor of the State of New York on January 1, 2007.
Insert cliche'd Eliot Spitzer prostitute joke here.

... And Many More!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Weekend at Harry's?

It seems as though every month or so we get another one of these stories. To be honest, I just don't get them. Doesn't the phrase "the smell of death" tell you all you need to know about dead bodies? I guess there are just more crazy people in this world than I had ever imagined.

I don't know if our birthday boy is crazy, but looking at some recent pictures, it certainly possible that he is just a dead corpse being kept alive for some crazy reason.

Today is somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Emmy Winning Actor Harry Morgan's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 93! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Harry Morgan's name appears on 8 DP 2008 rosters

  • In the episode "The Days Dwindle Down" of "Murder, She Wrote," Morgan played LAPD Detective Webb. In 1967, he starred as a member of the LAPD in "Dragnet 1967" which was created by and co-starred Jack Webb.
He was also scheduled to voice Charlotte in "Charlotte's Web" but talks fell through.

... And Many More!

Cemetary Towns in N.Y. Hold Some of the Famous

We told you recently about a hobby that some people have to visit the graves of famous celebrities. While some travel around looking for these graves, others have made their searches more local.

Chuck D’Imperio of Oneonta, New York, is the author of "Great Graves of Upstate New York." He believes that the state of New York has enough buried there for people take up an interest in their local cemetaries.

“They’re repositories of history, family history, New York history,” he said. “There are representatives of every war. There are fascinating sculptures. You never know who’s going to turn up in a cemetery in Central New York.”
So who has D’Imperio found? The book contains a list of 70 people – including criminals, politicians, movie stars, artists – who are buried in Upstate New York.
“The list of these 70 people is fascinating,” said D’Imperio. “It includes four U.S. presidents. It includes very, very famous names like James Fenimore Cooper and Lucille Ball.” D’Imperio became interested in famous graves after the death of his grandfather. He is buried in Woodlawn Cemetery in Elmira. So is Mark Twain.

“There’s politicians here,” he said. “There’s folk heroes here; there’s a horse here. There’s a one-legged tap dancer here.”
You may now be wondering where some famous horses are buried. Mr. Ed? Unknown. Secretariat? Kentucky (a champion horse...of course, of course). Marvin The Tap-Dancing Horse? Reruns.

[Utica Observer-Dispatch]

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A Byrd in the Bed is Worth Poo vs. the Bush

Avid Best Death Pool Ever readers (me? Live Like You Were Dying?) will of course remember the case of Senator Robert Byrd who has not been quite free as a…bird, after falling and hurting his hip in his home nest.

Well, Byrd also happens to be the chairman of the Senate’s appropriations committee, which is working on a crucial supplemental spending bill related to the war in Iraq.

Which makes us wonder: Hmm…How can you be reading documents when the documents are in your briefcase? (NSFW-ish) Said otherwise: How can you be leading a committee when the committee is in the Senate?

Now, reports are surfacing that Democratic Party leaders are also pondering this same question and are meeting to discuss the future of the endangered Byrd:

Sen. Blanche Lincoln, D-Ark., told The Hill newspaper that Democrats have concerns that Byrd won't be able to move the committee through spending bills quickly enough. "The concern is that we've got a lot to do, and we've got to move quickly," Lincoln told the newspaper. She added that Byrd's recent illness has held up the committee's progress.
To us, this seems like an overdue lesson in the Byrds and the bees, as in Byrd shouldn’t be chairman anymore.

[Charleston Daily Mall]

Stanley Kamel Was a Working Animal

Stanley Kamel, well known for playing Dr. Charles Kroger on the hit series “Monk,” has died, Access Hollywood has learned. Kamel was found dead in his Hollywood Hills home on Tuesday. He was 65. The actor died of a heart attack, Access Hollywood reports.

A rep for the USA network, which airs the Emmy-winning “Monk,” released the following statement to Access Hollywood:

“USA is deeply saddened by the news of Stanley Kamel's passing. Stanley was an amazingly talented and extremely kind man, and an important member of the USA family. He will be sorely missed.”
He is credited with over 100 roles. You may recognize Kamel from his television role on “The West Wing,” “Six Feet Under,” “Melrose Place,” or "Beverly Hills, 90210." Somewhere Dylan McKay cradles Kamel's head in the rain.


The Demon Stabber of Waukegan

I know 6 year olds can sometimes be a handful, but to call one a demon and then murder her? That just seems like a bit much to me.

Some would call our two birthday boys demons. I would agree on the second, but certainly not on the first. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't stab either one.

Today is somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Founder of "Playboy" Magazine Hugh Hefner's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 82! And Never been Kissed By... Death (but has been given a lap dance by Pamela Anderson)

Hugh Hefner name appears on "The Quit Parade's" and "Extended Weekend at Bernie's'" rosters

  • After serving in the subscription department and as a copywriter for "Esquire," he left in January 1952 after being denied a $5 raise. He worked at Children's Activities, then took his biggest gamble in 1953 by lending his furniture for $600 and raising $8,000 from 45 investors -- including $1,000 from his mother -- to launch Playboy.
I think I speak for males everywhere in thanking the management of "Esquire" for being such tightwads.

Today is somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Founder of White Aryan Resistance Tom Metzger's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 70! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Tom Metzger's name appears on "Genesis 6:7's" roster
  • In 1980, Metzger won the Democratic Party nomination for the U.S. House of Representatives with over 40,000 votes in a San Diego-area district. He had changed his party registration from Republican to Democrat earlier in the year. The Democrats disavowed his candidacy, instead endorsing incumbent four-term Republican Clair Burgener. Metzger lost by over 200,000 votes in November to a several-term incumbent in a heavily Republican district.
Republicans and Democrats may disagree on many issues but it seems as though they agree that Nazis are bad. That stance must have polled through the roof.

... And Many More!

Randy Pausch Spices Up His Life

More successful, albeit mentally disturbed looking women than I once remarked:

Smiling, dancing, everything is free
All you need is positivity
And positivity is something Randy Pausch is sure of. If you remember, we are now 7 months removed from Randy Pausch’s virtual death sentence from his pancreatic cancer diagnosis. And Pausch is still smiling. Since that time Pausch has given a “last lecture” viewed by more than 10 million people, has wrote a book that is coincidentally titled “The Last Lecture,” testified before congress about the dearth of funding for pancreatic cancer research, and he will be the subject of a one hour ABC special hosted by Diane Sawyer, tonight.

Whatever. We’ve been blogging, and thanks to the New York Times, we know that’s just as dangerous as cancer.

But, apparently, there are other blogs on the internet, and some bloggers have been writing on them. And, in further development, a certain newspaper has been reporting on those blogs:
Because Pausch has outlived his initial prognosis, a few bloggers have begun to speculate that he is not really dying. Doctors at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston and the University of Pittsburgh have confirmed Pausch's diagnosis and treatment.
"There's nothing to be cynical about in how he's choosing to approach these last months of his life," said Robbee Kosak, vice president for university advancement at Carnegie Mellon. "He's always been very passionate. He's always very pragmatic. He knows exactly what his priorities are. People like Randy are so rare. We should all be really happy that so many of us have had a chance now to see that it's possible to live your life with passion and energy and candor."
We are not a cynical bunch, so we are with Randy on this one. That said, if he is using this just to kiss some popular female singer…I think we can get to the bottom of it.

Here’s to Pausch. Keep inspiring, Randy. We’ll do your laundry for you for a week.

[International Herald Tribune]

How Long Can Millvina Dean's Titanic Heart Go On?

A chest infection resulting in the loss of her voice has forced Millvina Dean, the last living survivor of the Titanic, to cancel a public appearance she was due to make on Friday. This event wasn't just any speaking engagement. It was part of a series of Titanic commemorations being staged this weekend.

Millvina, who lives at Woodlands, near Ashurst, said: "I am truly sorry that I won't be able to do the talk on Friday as I was so looking forward to it and I hope people won't be too disappointed." Now the sole survivor of the disaster that claimed the lives of more than 1,500 people, Millvina was just a baby when she, her mother and brother were saved in one of Titanic's lifeboats, after the White Star liner foundered during her maiden voyage from Southampton.
The festivities honoring the 96th anniversary of the Titanic crash will go on as planned without Dean's presence. A broken hip knocked Dean out of the 95th anniversary last year.

Ninety nine red bruises go by...


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Betty is Built Ford Tough

How's this for an April story? A Snowball fight!

Today is somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? First Lady Betty Ford's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 90! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Betty Ford's name appears on the Rosters of "M"h By You Buddy," "Up The Arsenal!," "They Are Now As Cold As Ice," "Whoaa-ooah, Dying on the Edge," and "Tomb Raiders Redux (This Time with Candy)"

  • On May 3rd, Betty Ford will be the first Non-Brit to be granted the "People's Princess" humanitarian award by the Princess Diana Foundation.
To be clear, this is not the same as the "People's Champion." For example: Betty Ford will still not be able to make use of the "People's Elbow." I just hope she has a finishing move ready if she ever needs to take on Triple H in the ring.

... And Many More!

Looks Like Someone's Got a Case of the Monday...Birthdays

Does 2 make a case of birthdays? Galaxy Zone Misting Fountains come in cases of 2, so I'm going to say yes...

Here is an unbelievably absurd story for you: A New Jersey man's family is suing a hospital for causing his death when they gave him a lung transplant...of a smoker's cancerous lungs. Hmm...Why do we suspect that the surgery was performed by Eric Cartman?

Monday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? ex-Boston Red Sox Second Baseman Bobby Doerr's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 90! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Bobby Doerr's name appears on "Angelos or Bust" and "Tomb Raider Redux (This Time with Candy)'s Rosters

  • The Boston Red Sox held "Bobby Doerr Day" last season at Fenway Park where he drove along the warning track in a car, threw out the first pitch, and gave a speech.
Doerr needed to be cajoled into tossing out the first pitch. He had first threatened that "the ball was in my yard" and "I'm keeping it now." He eventually tossed the ball, but left quickly, complaining of "a draft in here."

Monday was somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? World Famous Indian Musician Ravi Shankar's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 88! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Ravi Shankar name appears on "Up the Arsenal!'s" Roster
  • Ravi Shankar has won all of the following awards: 3 Grammy awards, 14 honorary doctorates, and the Bharat Ratna, India's highest civilian honor. He was also nominated for an Academy Award.
That's all incredibly true, and yet...one title still eludes him: That's right- World's Best Boss.

... And Many More!

It's a Birthday Bonanza Coming at You

Today will see some belated birthday wishes. We are going to fly through these like non grounded Southwest or United planes...

We are probably the last blog to mention this New York Times story, but you have to wish that we were somehow featured. Seriously, Death by blogging about death... Alanis Morissette could write a song about that one...

Sunday was somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Scientist and Nobel Prize Winner James Watson's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 80! And Never been Kissed By... DeathJames Watson's name appears on "the Garden of eden's" roster

  • Watson cemented his place in news this year when he was quoted as saying he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa." Why? "All our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours — whereas all the testing says not really...People who have to deal with black employees find (the concept that everyone is equal) not true...Our wanting to reserve equal powers of reason as some universal heritage of humanity will not be enough to make it so."
Five days later, Watson humbly and embarrassedly retired, explaining: Dude, some of my best friends are genetically inferior black guys.

... And Many More!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Standing Pat, Burns Returns to the Bench

Pat Burns was forced to step aside from hockey four years ago when he began a new kind of fight: Against colon cancer. Now that Burns is So healthy again, Coach Ken Hitchcock has selected him as one of three assistants on the Canadian staff for next month's IIHF World Hockey Championship.

He's gone through his share of ups and downs since being diagnosed with cancer but is not the type of guy to feel sorry for himself.

"Definitely, I went through some tough times," said Burns. "You know, people do get sick sometimes. Nobody can say that they're immune (from getting sick).

"I feel fine now. I've had some great treatments. I've had some great doctors that were following me."
If it turns out that Burns was rushed back and isn't really 100 percent just yet, it'll just be the latest reason for us to blame Canada.

[Canadien Press]

Ben Hogan Remains a Hero to Golf Fans

As we look ahead to the Masters golf tournament beginning this week, we can't help but remember Ben Hogan, the golfer who gave the sport some fame a half century before Tiger Woods began his prowl. Now, Woods is poised to pass Hogan for third all-time on the PGA Tour for overall tournament victories.

Hogan achieved his golf superiority and legend status despite a World War II stint and being hospitalized for 59 days after a car crash. Golf became Hogan's life.

"He didn't have a lot of time for anything else," Miller said. "He was a pretty single-minded guy. It's like he built a house with one room because he didn't want any guests. Golf was it. He was a tough guy who came up the hard way. He only respected guys who worked hard and got in the dirt."
Those who remember Hogan say he was bad with names. The name Hogan is of Irish and Gaelic origin and means "youth." Alzheimer's disease took Hogan's life in 1997 but to golf followers Hogan remains forever young.

[Orlando Sentinel]

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Georgia on Larry Munson's Mind, Not Blood Clot

Brain surgery is tough, we hear. Larry Munson must be a champion then.

The legendary voice of the Georgia Bulldogs underwent brain surgery Friday but is expected to make a full recovery and still plans on calling football games this fall.

Munson, 85, was admitted to St. Mary's Hospital for tests on Thursday and a CT scan revealed a subdural hematoma -- or blood clots -- on his brain. Surgery to correct the problem was performed on Friday and Munson was recovering and resting comfortably Saturday, according to people who have visited him.

"I saw him after the [G-Day] game and [he] was happy to hear that Caleb King did as well as he did," said Neil "Hondo" Williamson, who is WSB radio's director of sports marketing and works with Munson on the Bulldogs' broadcasts. "He smiled real big when he saw that."
Munson's been doing this gig for the Georgia Bulldogs since 1966. When he started, people still listened to the radio.

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Charlton Heston's Epic Ends With a Bang

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Charlton Heston, who won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing "Ben-Hur" and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and other heroic figures in movie epics of the '50s and '60s, has died. He was 84.

"Charlton Heston was seen by the world as larger than life. He was known for his chiseled jaw, broad shoulders and resonating voice, and, of course, for the roles he played," Heston's family said in a statement. "No one could ask for a fuller life than his. No man could have given more to his family, to his profession, and to his country."
Congratulations and 6 points each awarded to the Garden of eden, A Time to Kill, Deep Sleepers, 6 Feet Under, The South Shall Rise (from the Grave) Again, and Whoaa-ooah, Dying on the Edge. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.


Friday, April 4, 2008

Five on Five Escapades

A friend of mine once said "If it exists, someone has a fetish for it." I always thought that was crazy, until I decided to read about the man who liked to put on gas masks and suffocate himself.

This just makes me depressed. You know what makes me undepressed? Many peoples having birthdays on the same day and being selected for DP 2008. Yay!!!!!

Today is
somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Pulitzer Prize Winning Author Maya Angelou's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 80! And Never been Kissed By... Death

John Demjanjuk's name appears on "6 Feet Under's"and "Do Not Resuscitate's" rosters

  • In 2002, Angelou lent her name and writings to a line of products from the Hallmark Greeting Card Company.
Seems as though she couldn't take all the bad writing she had to read on April 4th anymore.

Today is somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Founding Leader of the Kurdistan Wrokers Party Abdullah Öcalan's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 60! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Abdullah Öcalan's name appears on "Daddy to Be Dead Mates'" roster
  • Since his capture Öcalan has been held under solitary confinement as the only prisoner on the İmralı Island in the Turkish Sea of Marmara. Despite the fact that all other prisoners formerly at İmralı were transferred to other prisons, there are still over 1000 Turkish military personnel stationed there guarding him.
Öcalan is one of the few people who we actually get to know the answer of "What book would you take on a deserted island?" for.

Today is somebody else's else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former NHL Head Coach Pat Burns' Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 56! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Pat Burns' name appears on "Last Calls" roster
  • Before his career in hockey, he was a police officer in Hull, Quebec.
Am I the only one who is shocked that his story hasn't been made into a movie yet? Maybe they are waiting for him to beat cancer to really put the icing on that film's cake.

Today is somebody else's else's else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Former NFL Wide Receiver and Olympic Gold Medalist John Wesley Jones' Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 50! And Never been Kissed By... Death

John Wesley Jones' name appears on "Dead Place's" and "They Are Now As Cold As Ice's" rosters
  • Jones took some extraordinary photos of the UT Tower after the National Championship game in January 2006. The University Co-op is selling these in Austin. All proceeds go back to Lam who is using the money to pay for his medications.
Another case of the NFL's sterling care of retired players. At least he's got that gold medal to melt down.

Today is somebody else's else's else's else's (yes, if you are still reading, that's a lot of birthdays. In fact, it's second only to July 4th which has 6 birthdays) Birthday! Whose Birthday? Magician and Endurance Artist David Blaine's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 35! And Never been Kissed By... Death

David Blaine's name appears on "The Quit Parade's" roster
  • In the News section of his official website, Blaine announced on August 20, 2007 that he is currently preparing for a new stunt slated to air live in May 2008. Regarding the stunt, Blaine stated, "If you thought my previous stunts were intense, this new one will leave you speechless. I can’t reveal any details (yet) but I’ve started preparing and training for the most dangerous and death-defying challenge of my career."
Looks like "The Quit Parade" knew what they were doing when they picked this guy.

... And Many More!

Little Rascal Darla Gone from Our Gang

Former child actress Mollie Mae Gottschalck Barron, who appeared in a number of "Little Rascals" films, has died at a Pascagoula, Miss. hospital at the age of 87.

Barron, a native of Brooklyn, N.Y., who died Wednesday, was one of the girls who portrayed the character "Darla" in "Little Rascals" movies, according to her obituary. The daughter of two vaudeville performers, she landed the role in "Little Rascals," which was also known as "Our Gang," after another child actress became ill. Barron made two "Rascals" films, including "The Haunting Ghost," and several short films during the mid-1920s.
Barron later became ill with chicken pox, lost her hearing and suffered a broken heart courtesy of Alfalfa.


Circumstances of Bono's Death Not So Sonny

We were pretty certain that Sonny Bono's cause of death was conclusive. He steered into a tree.

But new reports have surfaced that Bono did not die while skiing, rather he was clubbed to death by hitmen on the orders of drug and weapons dealers who feared he was going to expose them.

"It's nonsense for anyone to now try to suggest that Bono died after crashing into a tree. There's zero evidence in this autopsy report...to show such an accident happened. Instead, there's powerful proof he was assassinated.

"This was an evil plot that was carried out to almost perfection by ruthless assassins," Ted Gunderson, now a private investigator, has told the US Globe.
The tree collision, says Gunderson, was staged. He called for authorities to dig up Bono's remains and open a homicide investigation. His claims have reportedly been backed by top forensics experts who fear Nevada authorities were too quick to call the death a skiing accident.

We think that if Dickie Goodman were still alive, he would produce a song about the alleged hit (record). It would go something along the lines of this:

"What did the hitmen think when they saw Bono skiing toward them?"
"I Got You Babe."
"What happened when Bono tried to fight back?"
"And The Beat Goes On."


Breakdancer Wayne Frost Bites the Dust

Wayne "Frosty Freeze" Frost, a hip-hop pioneer whose acrobatic performance with the legendary Rock Steady Crew in the 1983 movie "Flashdance" helped set off a worldwide breakdancing craze, has died. He was 44. Frost died Thursday at Mount Sinai Medical Center after a long illness, said Jorge "Fabel" Pabon, a senior vice president of the crew where Frost and other so-called b-boys (for beat or break boys) made their name performing complicated and daring dance routines.

"He was one of most charismatic b-boys that ever lived," said Benson Lee, director of the new documentary film "Planet B-Boy."

Frost's appearance with Rock Steady Crew in "Flashdance" spread the breakdance phenomenon globally, said Joseph Schloss, a visiting scholar in the music department at New York University. "He was one of the first B-boys that most people ever saw," Schloss said.
One of Frost's patented moves was dubbed the "Suicide." It is a finishing move, though reportedly not the one Frost employed here.

[Yahoo! News]

Remembering the Assassination of Martin Luther King for a Day

Four decades after the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. fell to an assassin's bullet, colleagues and biographers offer many answers to the question: What if he had lived?

Instead, history moves on, remaking the world in myriad ways. The nation has grappled with issues of race and inequity without the benefit of King's evolving wisdom. A generation has come of age celebrating him in a national holiday, like other figures of the frozen past.

But given the trajectory of his life — from his appearance on the national scene during the Montgomery, Ala., bus boycott of 1955 to his death on a second-floor balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tenn., on April 4, 1968 — some of those closest to him have a good idea what King might be doing now, and where we might be as a country.
The conjecture is that if King was aroudn today, he'd be speaking out against the Iraq War, says King biographer David J. Garrow. Garrow and others believe that King would not have sought elective office.

He felt, they say, that he could make more of a difference outside the political arena. Yet some question whether King would have continued to have much influence at all beyond the 1960s, believing instead that King's time in the National spotlight had already come and passed.
"The painful truth is that in his last two months or so before he was killed, King was so exhausted — emotionally, spiritually, physically — that a lot of the people closest ... to him were really worried about his survival, his survival in the sense of would he have some sort of breakdown," Garrow says. "It would be expecting something truly superhuman, literally superhuman, for King to have continued the pace of life he had lived over those 12 years for another 12 years, never mind for another 20 or 40 years."
So while King's life was definitely cut short, there's room to wonder if his Civil Rights career was upended too. or if it had run its course. What's evident though is that one man, James Earl Ray thought King had to be stopped, for whatever reason. A CNN investigative report tackled these issues.
Ray's brother believes in his innocence; so, more startlingly, does the King family. We see footage of King's son Dexter visiting Ray in prison in 1997 and pledging solidarity. Ray died in jail in the next year, but we hear from lawyers who took up his cause and from those who opposed it. Your opinions when watching are likely to bounce about: convinced first that he was guilty, then that he was framed, then that he was involved but was part of a conspiracy (involving, it's alleged, the FBI, the Memphis police and the U.S. military).
The hotel switchboard operator who found King's dead body in his hotel room suffered a fatal heart attack fromt he shock of it. We can't help but wonder what he would have amounted to had he lived.

[National Post]

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Tyrone Jones, A Few Yards Closer to the End Zone

It seems like only one week ago, when someone on BestDeathPoolEver was causally observing about Tyrone Jones:

“I don't see how this could be worse.”
Well then, someone on BestDeathPoolEver, I think you have poor predictive powers. No. Allow me to restate: I think you have very poor predictive powers. You are like Miss Cleo and Tyrone Jones is Missouri. Why?

Because it’s worse.

Jones has been sleeping in his hospital bed round the clock while the tumor in his brain is spreading its toxic infection:

"He's on heavy morphine," said Darla Gerbrandt, the Winnipeg cancer survivor who befriended Jones during his last visit to the city where he played eight seasons with the CFL Blue Bombers. "I spoke to his sister and he's just resting. He's been non-responsive to them."
Jones remains in the Sunbridge Care and Rehabilitation Center, proving the old adage: “The only thing worse than living in Canada is dying in Canada.”

[Globe and Mail]

Jailhouse Crack

Maybe this guy just saw the "Shawshank Redemption" and really really really didn't want to meet the sisters. Maybe, like George Michael Bluth, he watched "Oz" by accident as a child thinking it was "The Wizard of Oz." All I can tell you is that this mean really didn't want to go to jail. That's the only way to explain swallowing a plastic bag full of crack cocaine.

Speaking of places you may not want to visit, we present you today's first birthday...

Today is
somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Accused War Criminal John Demjanjuk's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 88! And Never been Kissed By... Death

John Demjanjuk's name appears on "BestDeathPoolRosterEver.BlogSpot.Com's"and "Genesis 6:7's" rosters

  • Demjanjuk's American citizenship has been revoked. He is appealing. If Demjanjuk loses all appeals, he would remain in the United States if no other country is willing to accept him. This is a likely outcome, according to his attorneys, since European countries are reluctant to accept the aged and infamous. In that case, Demjanjuk would become a stateless alien and would lose all Social Security benefits.
Well I'm going to lose all my Social Security too and I didn't even commit any war crimes.

Today is somebody else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Actress Doris Day's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 84! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Doris Day's name appears on "Remains to Be Seen's" and "Do Not Resuscitate's" rosters
  • Day is known for her interest in animal welfare. For many decades she has stopped her car on Los Angeles freeways when she saw an abandoned, stray, or hit animal.
LA doesn't have enough traffic as is. Thank you Doris Day for creating more. A dead squirrel is well worth it.

Today is somebody else's else's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Singer and Entertainer Wayne Newton's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 66! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Wayne Newton's name appears on "Extended Weekend at Bernie's" roster
  • Newton was featured on the 2007 fall season of "Dancing with the Stars" partnered with Two Time Champion Cheryl Burke. He became the third contestant to be eliminated from the contest. He also received the all-time worst score in the Tango.
In his case, I guess it takes more than two to tango.

... And Many More!

UCLA Seals Leak in Farrah Fawcett File

Oops...they did it again.

Months after word came out that UCLA Medical Center staff has been snooping through Britney Spears' medical files, we now find out that this was not an isolated incident geared at the pop star's file. It turns out that Farrah Fawcett's medical charts had been improperly perused. This breach may have led to information being leat or sold to tabloids.

Shortly after UCLA doctors told Fawcett that her cancer had returned -- and before she had told her son and closest friends -- the National Enquirer posted the news on its website. Indeed, alarming headlines regularly cropped up in the Enquirer and its sister publication, the Globe, within days of Fawcett's treatments at UCLA.

UCLA terminated the employee who inappropriately reviewed Fawcett's records, according to a person familiar with the matter who spoke on condition of anonymity. This was the second time that Fawcett's privacy had been breached at UCLA. In a 2006 letter, one of her physicians, Gary Gitnick, informed Fawcett that a former hospital contractor had listed her name on his blog, "suggesting you are a patient and/or charitable donor of mine and UCLA."
This worker who was not involved in Fawcett's care had been discovered to be reading about her treatment. However, the hospital claims that it found no evidence that indictaed the worker has told the tabloids about Fawcett's stay at the hospital. Fawcett remains wary.

"She's been invaded -- and these are the people who she entrusted her life to," said Craig J. Nevius, who is producing the upcoming documentary "A Wing and a Prayer," which chronicles Fawcett's battle with anal cancer and her efforts to protect her privacy.

One of Fawcett's lawyers, Kim Swartz, said his client was reluctant to sue over the leaked information, but added, "This is such an ugly situation...This has been very hard for her," Swartz said. "Not knowing who has her personal information has taken an incredible toll on her."
Might we suggest a new slogan for UCLA Medical Center? Scaring sex symbols away so you can enjoy your stay.

Big McElwaine Chomped by Cancer

Guy McElwaine, who was intermittently a Hollywood agent and a studio executive during his illustrious career, has died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 71.

As an agent, he represented Frank Sinatra, Warren Beatty, Steven Spielberg, and The Mamas and The Papas, amongst others. In his role as studio head, he stood behind a large variety of movies, ranging from the epic (“Ghandi”) to the inane (“Georgia Rule,” “Two for the Money”), through the dramatic (“Dog Day Afternoon,” “The Good Shepherd,” “All the President’s Men”), and the best movies ever made (“Ghostbusters,” “The Karate Kid”).

"He had a great eye for talent," ICM chairman Jeff Berg told Variety. "He was able to successfully traverse being an agent and being a studio executive. He was a wonderful colleague."
The man who brought us Daniel-san has finally been waxed off. Pancreatic Cancer, like Johnny, listened to Kreese when he told it to sweep the leg. In true Cobra Kai fashion, pancreatic cancer shows NO MERCY!

[Yahoo! News]