Billy Graham Hasn't Cracked Yet, Here For S'more

There are just certain people that popular newspapers seem to think are dead. And those that people seem to think are dead. The latest example comes from the Washington Post:

A March 9 Magazine article about hospitals in North Korea incorrectly referred to "the late evangelist Billy Graham." Graham, 89, lives near Asheville, N.C.

Maybe the writer confused Billy for his deceased wife Ruth. Because we know for a fact that Billy is alive and preaching. Wichita Eagle 1 Washington Post 0.

[Washington Post]
[Wichita Eagle]

Vampires and Zombies Welcome Arthur Lemay to the Undead

We agree with Arthur Lemay. A 50th reunion is a great time to pull a prank on your former classmates. We don't, however, think his prank was a very good idea.

In a ruse Mark Twain might have concocted, Lemay, a retired management consultant from Northern California, circulated his own obituary on a Harvard '59 e-mail listserv last month, then sat back and watched classmates' reactions.

"Arthur knew he was dying as early as September of 2007," began the death notice, which was signed by Lemay's wife and posted in late January. Ascribing his death to kidney failure while vacationing in the Caribbean, it contained descriptive touches such as: "He loved to play roles: the agent provocateur, the crazed right-winger, the insane bomber..." According to his wife, Lemay also left behind five postings intended to be shared posthumously. "Communications from the grave," she called them.

That's when the responses started to pour in on their communal list serv. Some former classmates talked about the great respect they had for Lemay. Some even left tributes to him in the form of famous lines of poetry. Once some messages started to pop up explaining what a pain others found Lemay to be, Lemay revealed the hoax to his classmates.

"I have to eat humble pie and admit it was very silly and stupid of me to do this," wrote Lemay, promising to be less confrontational in future postings. Or, as he put it, to become a "more philosophical person who has genuinely buried the old Arthur."

He also said the death of a close friend, coupled with a near-death experience of his own, had given him the idea for posting the obit.

Although many were aghast over Lemay's prank, still a few found it fitting to think philosophically about Lemay's death and undeath. In truest Harvard form, comparisons were made to both literature, old popular culture and poetry to help understand attribute Lemay's inspiration. As we believe Thomas Edison once put it, "Pranks are 10 percent inspiration, 90 percent resurrection."

[Boston Globe]

Britney Spears Isn't Dead, But the AP Doesn't Like Her Odds

I think it is well known that many news organizations write celebrities' obituaries ahead of time, hanging on to them until they are ready to be published. (Traditionally when someone dies.) This practice spares an obit writer the task of writing 7,925 words on Gerald Ford in one day. (Actual length, by the way.) The downside to doing this, however, especially in the digital age, can occur when your "ahead of time" obits become public. But usually that embarrassment is reserved for the news organization; after all, I doubt Dick Cheney or Nelson Mandela can really be shocked to learn that their obits have already been written. But what does it say about you when your obituary has been written by the Associated Press and you're 26 years old?

The Associated Press began preparing Britney Spears’ obituary within the past month, Usmagazine.com has learned. "We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now," Washington adds. "Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now…but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."

Washington also says the AP has a "pretty extensive obituary operation," and that staffers are "constantly adding people."

I can understand the need to be "constantly adding people"; let's face it, there are dozens of ways this sad story can end, and they have to prepare for every death possibility. Tom Brokaw can certainly relate.

[US Magazine]

Baby I Need You Living

Last month the Boston Globe ran the following correction in its paper:

Because of a reporting error, a review of the new Boyz II Men album in yesterday's Sidekick incorrectly said that Four Tops singer Levi Stubbs is deceased. Stubbs, who is alive, no longer tours with the Four Tops.

Although the Four Tops sang into the late Motown period, suggestions of the late Levi Stubbs are premature. For evidence of the passing of fellow Four Tops singer, Lawrence Payton, see here.

[Boston Globe]