Elizabeth Taylor Turns Down Dialysis M for Murder

Yesterday, as mentioned, was Elizabeth Taylor's birthday. How did she celebrate, you may ask?

Silver screen legend Elizabeth Taylor is reportedly battling a new health complaint that is shutting her internal organs down. The ailing 76-year-old actress' latest medical crisis was brought on by the painkillers she has taken for years to combat chronic back and hip pain.

Sources tell the National Enquirer the drugs have caused irreversible damage to her liver and kidneys - but Taylor is refusing to go on dialysis that will prolong her life. An insider tells the publication, "Her body is starting to shut down, and she's adamant about not resorting to life support. Liz does not want to continue living if it means being connected to machines. Liz said she has no intention of going on dialysis - let alone consider organ transplants."

Although we remain skeptical about the source cited here, it fits with our belief that Taylor has taken a turn for the worse in recent months. During her life, she has broken her spine in five different points, had both hips replaced, gotten skin cancer, almost died from pneumonia twice, and survived a brain tumor.

Not to mention seven different husbands. She just doesn't want her last role to be in Married to a Machine Too.

[StarPulse.com]

While One Fawcett Fights, Another Fossett is Turned Off

Self-made business tycoon Steve Fossett, whose thirst for adrenaline drove him to fly around the world solo in a balloon, climb mountains and aim for speed records, has been declared dead, 5 months after his small plane vanished. He was 63.

"Steve's lived his life to the full, and he hasn't wasted a minute of his life," his rival-turned-comrade, British billionaire Sir Richard Branson, said after Fossett's single-engine plane disappeared on Sept. 3. "Everything he's done, he's taken a calculated risk with."

Fossett was last seen after taking off in a single-engine plane from an airstrip near Yerington, Nev., heading toward Bishop, Calif. Cook County Judge Jeffrey Malak's declaration Friday at the request of Fossett's wife, Peggy V. Fossett, ended the legal limbo of his estate, said her attorney, Michael LoVallo. The judge heard testimony from Peggy Fossett, a family friend and a search-and-rescue expert before deciding there was sufficient evidence to declare him dead.

Fossett's death is the latest in a series of deaths in absentia that includes the likes of Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart and D.B. Cooper. Fossett's family first requested the pronouncement late last year, releasing them from the uncertainty of his return.

[AP]

We Talkin' Bout Malpractice

Why do bad things happen to good people?

While we can't answer phiosophical questions about life and death, we try to reveal the practical reasons for people's deaths. Or at the very least what gets listed by the coroner as the cause of death. And then there's medical malpractice which goes and throws off the entire system.

We rely on doctors to care for celebrities when they're sick. But sometimes even doctors can make mistakes. As was the case for John Ritter says his family.

Early next month, in response to a wrongful-death lawsuit filed by Amy Yasbeck and Ritter's four children, a Los Angeles County jury will be asked to decide: Did Ritter have to die?

Lawyers for the plaintiffs fault the care Ritter, 54, received from two doctors -- one who interpreted the results of a body scan he had in 2001, the other who treated him the night he died. Defense attorneys say their clients did nothing wrong and that Ritter would have died no matter what doctors did.

We don't envy the position these doctors are in now, having to publicly justify why the medicine and procedures they prescribed were the correct courses of action at the time. It'll surely be an emotional trial for Yasbeck and her kids. What is conclusive, according to all sides, is that Ritter is dead.

Know who's not dead? Former football player Ron Springs. Yet his family is in a similar position at the complicated juncture between medicine and law.

The unexpected turn in Springs' promising and much-publicized recovery led his wife to file a medical malpractice suit Tuesday against two doctors who Adriane Springs says caused brain damage to her husband during a routine surgery to remove a cyst.

"My husband was doing so well after the kidney transplant," Adriane Springs said. "This is just a very tragic outcome."

Even though she's filed the lawsuit, Ms. Springs is still hoping that her husband will someday wake up again.

Adriane Springs is not giving up hope, saying that she rebuffed a neurosurgeon who broached the idea of taking her husband off his medication.

Proving medical malpractice, from what we've read, is a difficult process. It also costs an exhorbitant amount of money to pursue.

We think we can resolve both of these cases using simple logic. At the root of the word "malpractice" is "practice." Now, at the time of Ritter's collapse, he was practicing his part at rehearsal for the television program "8 Simples Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter." Springs, on the other hand, was not at football practice at the time he went into his coma.

Therefore, in our expert opinions, Ritter's suit should stand up while Springs' should be denied. Next case.

[Los Angeles Times]
[ABC News]

An Artist's Death Can Cause a Price Resurrection

Deceased artists' work is worth more than that of living artists. Why is this? Probably because there's no threat of more - or possibly better - art being produced by that man or woman. Whatever exists on the date of his or her death is the extent of the collection forever.

If we were an artist trying to sell our artwork, we'd surely pretend to be dead. Our paintings would sell far better than if people knew we were alive to paint more. In fact, that was the plot to the 1965 movie The Art of Love, directed by Norman Jewison and starring Dick Van Dyke and Carl Reiner - all three of whom are listed on DP 2008 rosters - among others.

Although this idea was played out in film, it's reflective of a real phenomenon that exists in American fine culture even today.

In the last years of his life, Béla Bartók was so obscure that he and his family actually had trouble making ends meet. It wasn't until after he died of leukemia in 1945 that he finally came to be widely regarded as a great composer -- too late for the resulting royalties on his music to ease his earthly lot.

We - along with the WSJ - wonder: What is it about the demise of an artist that so often triggers a reconsideration of his significance?

The so-called "Death Effect" can possibly be explained by obituaries publicizing the person's life, sparking interest in readers. Or perhaps it's a way to connect with the deceased, to show respect or even love, despite having taken them for granted during their lives. You may not have a second chance to taste Aunt Gertie's holiday cannolis, but you can always sample a Shostakovich symphony in order to show a post-mortem appreciation for the man's often overlooked work.

[Wall Street Journal]

Doesn't Say Anything About Avoiding Death Pools

Seinfeld warned us about the dangers of tractors. After all, we know Sophie's tractor story: she got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in her bathing suit.

But Tractors can be even more dangerous than transmitting STDs. This, according to the grand prize winning label of the 11th annual Wacky Warning Label Contest:

Grand Prize: A label on a small tractor that warns: "Danger: Avoid Death."

I'm sorry- Wacky Label? I think that's a very important label. I just wish this guy had seen it...

Alright, that's it for me. You've been great. Goodnight everybody.

[AP]
[ABC News]

Tombstones Go Digital; Nary a Sold

Want to leave a message for your relatives and friends from the grave? New technology allows for it through high-tech digital images powered by a solar cell. But it hasn't been received well by the public thus far.

The panel mounts to the front of the gravestone and pays tribute to the deceased in color pictures, words, music and even videos. It's all from a small memory chip inside a device that opens like the front cover of a book.

"I haven't sold any," said Doug Ellis of Riverview Monuments, who has been offering the so-called "serenity panel" system for about $2,000 since February.

Ellis, 54, said maybe 15 potential customers have spent time looking and listening to the gravestone player he displays in his store. One woman asked him to mail her pricing information. But nobody has been serious about buying one.

Despite poor sales numbers, this technology brings with it the chance to revolutionize the legacy that the deceased can leave behind.

"That is a big step, putting electronics on your headstone," Cheri Lucking said. "People are used to sandblasted, granite and marble and things like that."

Ways of honoring the dead are changing because of technology, Lucking said.

If Pavarotti was digitally alive today, we wonder what he'd sing.

[CNN]

The Password(of-the-year) is "Sterbetourismus"

Good news! Switzerland has a new word of the year. It's... it's... sterbetourismus!

What does it mean, you ask? Don't feel bad, my original guesses were all wrong too. It is not any of the following:

1. The substance with which Barry Bonds injects himself in the ass
   
2. The next installment in "hilarious" Dane Cook TV shows
3. The sister of Abi Titmuss
4. Another Costanza invented variation of Christmas
   

What is sterbetourismus then? It can be loosely talented as "death tourism," and it's on the rise in Switzerland. You see, on the issue of assisted suicide, Switzerland is uncharacteristically not neutral:

Most Swiss support assisted suicide – in which the terminally ill have to carry out the final act themselves – but they are divided over whether the laws should apply to foreigners... The global spotlight had only turned to Switzerland's liberal laws on assisted suicide when the number of foreign "patients" increased.

To recap - the top word: Death Tourism; the top death tourist destination: Switzerland.

I don't know, to me - that is an upset. Had I guessed the top destination for dying people, I would have gone with "the ground."

[Swiss Info]

Steve Fossett May Become Victim of the Seven Year Itch

We brought you news earlier this week about Steve Fossett, explorer not-so-extraordinaire, who disappeared while flying his plane in September. Now, I am no explorer. I don't even play one on TV like Bear Grylls. But I think I could guess some of the rules to "How to explore stuff 101." For example, I would put the following somewhere on my list:

1. Bring a Parachute
2. Have something (let's say a transponder) to send out a distress signal
   

Fossett brought neither. And now his wife wants him to be declared legally dead. But what are the rules on that? When can a death announcement be made? Like craps, it's a 7 that changes everything:

"Seven years is simply the line in Illinois after which the basic presumption changes," said Floyd Perkins, a former Illinois assistant attorney general... "Before seven years, anyone who wants you declared legally dead has to offer evidence that you're not alive. But after you've been missing seven years, anyone who wants you declared alive has to offer evidence that you're not dead."

So what are Mrs. Fossett's chances here? In reality it comes down to one basic issue:

If the preponderance of evidence points toward death, then the missing person is declared dead. If it points toward life, the legal waiting game continues, sometimes well beyond seven years.

So Mrs. Fossett might not be up a creek without a parachute after all...

[Chicago Tribune]

Mostly Dead or All Dead? Sadly, Miracle Max Was Unavailable for Comment

Whether you're Jewish or not, being an Agunah really sucks. Peggy Fossett is kind of sick of it, and is trying to take action:

The wife of millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett, who disappeared while flying his plane in September in rugged Western terrain, asked a court Monday to declare him legally dead. The request was a step toward resolving the legal status of Fossett's estate, which according to court papers is "vast, surpassing eight figures in liquid assets, various entities and real estate," LoVallo said.

Fossett, 63, disappeared Sept. 3 after taking off in a single-engine plane from an airstrip near Yerington, Nev., heading toward Bishop, Calif. Fossett was on a pleasure flight and not looking for a dry lake to use as a surface on which to set the world land speed record, as was initially reported, according to the petition filed on behalf of Peggy V. Fossett. He did not have a parachute, nor did he take a watch that had a transponder and could have sent out a distress signal, the petition said. There was a transponder aboard but no signal was received. With winter closing in, a rescue effort that involved dozens of planes and helicopters was officially suspended after more than a month of searching. The National Transportation Safety Board concluded in a preliminary report that the plane was destroyed in a fatal accident.

If she still has trouble getting the pronouncement, I recommend calling Meinhardt Raabe.

[Houston Chronicle]

I Wonder If These Guys Do The Scrooge McDuck In Their Death Pool

If they are not taking the Scrooge McDuck plunge, they should have watched more Disney afternoon. They obviously don't know the sheer, ecstatic joy of swimming through coins. Trust me- they have enough money to do it.

Alan Buerger is profiled in the Wall Street Journal as a pioneer in "Life Settlement" policies. What is that, you ask? Buerger leads a pack of people who buy life insurance policies off the living.

How about an example: Let's call the guy Stephen. Stephen needs some spare cash, so he sells his mother's $2 million life insurance policy to Buerger, who continues to pay the yearly premium, for 205,000 up front. Now, let's realize that this isn't a hypothetical -

Stephen Ellis needed cash, quickly, when he went over budget on a new house he was building. So the 48-year-old mortgage banker from Annapolis, Md., started shopping two policies, with a combined death benefit of $2 million, that he had taken out on his 75-year-old mother. Mr. Ellis had been paying $35,000 a year for the policies, he says, but the insurer would have paid him virtually nothing to cash them out... A small firm offered $205,000. He accepted. "I didn't really look at it as morbid," says Mr. Ellis, who supports his mother financially. "I thought, 'Wow what an incredible way to put a value on this.'" His mother has been in poor health but approved of the sale to benefit him now rather than later, he says. She was unavailable for comment.

I think i would hate to be a fly, but if I had to be one, I would have wanted to be the fly on their wall to overhear that conversation. "Look, mom... I'm going to sell your life insurance to someone who is financially invested in your imminent death... but before you complain, check out these beautiful granite countertops. In a house like this, you could die happy. Not you! One. One could die happy. I totally care whether you live..."

[Wall Street Journal]

Long Die The Queen!

There are a few ways in which royals differ from us. They throw great 60th anniversary parties, rose petals are sprinkled at their feet, they get recognized at Madison Square Garden, and Reggie Jackson tries to kill them in Los Angeles. There's another big difference:

Queen Elizabeth II's undertakers always keep a special coffin ready in case a member of the royal family dies suddenly abroad, the inquest into the death of Princess Diana heard Thursday. "We have what we call a 'first call coffin' which is used," he added.

I hope the "first call coffin" is not actually their first call in case of an emergency. I mean there should be at least some emergency button they press before it gets to that point.

Picturing the queen from 0:28 - 0:31 makes life worth living. Having an airtight coffin you can call into use makes life worth dying.

[AP]
[YouTube]

Dole Addresses Die-Hard Supporters

Planning a nice extended weekend with your family? Table's set, food's coming out of the oven, family members gathering around the table to sit down for the annual feast. Before passing your great aunt Millie the mashed potatoes she requested, be sure to heed Bob Dole's advice:

Thirty percent of Kansans 65 years and older live alone. Family members often are asked to make decisions on behalf of loved ones who have become seriously ill without having a complete understanding of their preferences.

In order to avoid this situation, older adults -- all of us, actually -- should discuss our end-of-life wishes with family members and health care providers well before the onset of serious illness.

As our families come together for the holidays, it is a good time to tell our family members what our wishes are. Having these conversations is the best way to protect our independence and our quality of life at the end of life.

Only then can you really say that your grandmother's stuffing is to die for.

[Kansas.com]