Monday, March 26, 2007

TWID - Manic Monday Edition

Please note that This Week in Death will now be sent out on Monday. We apologize for the inconvenience and for depriving you of weekend reading material.

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.


No points received for three straight weeks. Did you guys stop trying? We here at TWID didn't... And now: Health.

Chavez Nurses Castro Back to Health; Lifetime Movie to Follow
Cuban leader Fidel Castro spent several days on the point of death, but is now out of his sickbed, his close friend and protege Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said on Saturday.

Lionel Is No Sugar Daddy
The reason behind actress Nicole Richie's constant health problems on the sets of 'Simple Life' is hypoglycemia or low blood sugar. The actress, who had to be hospitalized for dehydration when she suddenly fell ill on the sets of the reality series, was recently diagnosed with hypoglycemia, a syndrome produced by a lower than normal amount of sugar in the blood.

Full Nelson Holding On
A spokeswoman of Nelson Mandela on Tuesday denied rumors that the former South African president and Nobel Peace Prize laureate was ill, or even dead.

Diego Indulges In Too Many Mara-donuts
Diego Maradona is smoking too many cigars, putting on weight and is planning a trip to Switzerland to get himself back into shape, his doctor said. The former Argentina captain, who lost around 30 kilos after a stomach-stapling operation in 2005, has visibly put weight back on in the last few months.

"Great Balls of Fire" Keep Rolling
Jerry Lee Lewis is 71 going on 103. "I'm having a good time," he drawls in a garbled voice. "I'm livin' and I'm breathin.'"

Without further ado, Death

A Christmas Carol with a Tragic Ending
Carol Richards, who teamed with Bing Crosby on the Christmas classic "Silver Bells," died of heart disease in a Vero Beach, Fla., hospital. She was 84.

Basically Every Jewish Grandfather, Minus the Success
The balding, bespectacled nebbish who gained cult status as the oddball Larry "Bud" Melman on David Letterman's late-night television shows has died after a long illness.

An Extra-Sad Ramadan This Year
Taha Yassin Ramadan, the former vice president under Saddam Hussein, was hanged just before dawn Tuesday, according to a source close to Iraq's High Tribunal.

God Is, in Fact, a Cowboys Fan, and He Wanted Some Company
Wilford "Crazy Ray" Jones, the boisterous Dallas Cowboys fan who energized crowds for decades with his cowboy getup and sideline cheerleading, died Saturday. He was 76.

TWID is brought to you this week by Mr. Wash. Passover discounts apply.
The Commissioner's Council

Friday, March 16, 2007

TWID - Ides of March Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We already stuck our toe in and the water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

No points received for two straight weeks. Did you guys stop trying? We here at TWID didn't... And now: Health.

Bush Can't Take the Heat; Should Exit Kitchen
Former President George H. W. Bush was taken to a local hospital Sunday after becoming dehydrated. Bush, 82, was playing golf in the 95-degree heat.
http://www.thedesertsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070312/UPDATE02/70312010

At Least She won't be Distracted by that Bird Over There
According to a source speaking to In Touch, Nicole Richie is in fact now addicted to the prescription drug Adderall, which is used to treat ADD and is a powerful appetite suppressant. "She loves Adderall because she stays awake, and it makes her not want to eat," said the source.
http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=29288

No One Can Resist His Shwe-tty Heart
One western diplomat in Rangoon said that Than Shwe, now in his late 70s, may be in need of a heart operation. This follows speculation from Burmese dissident sources that he might be suffering from cancer.
http://www.irrawaddy.org/aviewer.asp?a=6796&z=166

Two Hundred Percent Health Ratu-fied
The President, Ratu Josefa Iloilo, is in good health, contrary to concerns that at 86 years of age, it was time for him to return home, said his secretary. "I should know because I work with him everyday. If he was seriously ill, I may have had to consider a report to the Prime Minister's Office, but I haven't because his excellency is 200 per cent better than you and I put together."
http://www.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?id=58603

Without further ado, Death

Kuhn Signs Long Term Deal with the Angels
Bowie Kuhn, the bespectacled lawyer who oversaw baseball's transformation from sport to a business of free agents with multimillion-dollar contracts, died Thursday. He was 80.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2799887

Missing that Certain Jeni Se Qua
Richard Jeni, the critically acclaimed, Brooklyn-born comedian and actor whose career began with a nervous five-minute act in a Sheepshead Bay club, died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in California on March 10. He was 49 years old. The cause of death was an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the face.
http://www.canarsiedigest.com/site/tab3.cfm?newsid=18084055&BRD=2384&PAG=461&dept_id=552849&rfi=6

Slightly More than a Feeling
Brad Delp, the lead singer of the 1970s and '80s rock band Boston was found dead at his home in southern New Hampshire on Friday, local police said. Delp, 55, apparently was home alone and there was no indication of foul play, Atkinson, New Hampshire, police said.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/09/delp.dead.reut/index.html

Cancer Sacked Ladd with a Folding Chair when the Referee Wasn't Looking
Ernie Ladd, the giant defensive lineman with the Kansas City Chiefs, Houston Oilers and San Diego Chargers, who was one of the biggest names in pro wrestling during the 70s, passed away from cancer. He was 68. Ladd had been battling colon cancer for the past three plus years.
http://www.bucyrustelegraphforum.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070311/NEWS01/70311004/1002

People Don't Kill People, Annie get Your Guns Kills People
Betty Hutton, who played the brassy blond in about two dozen movies, including the musical "Annie Get Your Gun," has died, the executor of her estate said Tuesday. She was 86.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/12/entertainment/e191738D59.DTL

TWID Feels the need to ask, "Et tu Brute?" We don't even know why we feel that need. We just do.

The Commissioner's Council

Friday, March 9, 2007

TWID - Spring Training Edition

The water is perfect... So come on in as we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

There were zero points accumulated this week, but at least we have our health (notices)....
Tumor Plotting to Blow up Abdel-Rahman Landmarks
Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman, the Egyptian cleric serving a life sentence for plotting to blow up New York City landmarks, is "nearing death." Abdel-Rahman, 68, is suffering from the effects of a tumor on his liver and his kidneys are in danger of failing, said Montasser al-Zayyat, a prominent attorney for Egyptian militants.
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/world/ny-wosheik055118852mar05,0,4715276.story?coll=ny-worldnews-print
Richie Receives Fluids in Nic of Time

Nicole Richie reported feeling ill on the set of her reality series on Friday, and was quickly rushed to a nearby hospital where she was treated for dehydration.

First Boxer to Break Hip or Complain of Drafty Ring Loses

All of that Florida sun must be getting to Maine snowbird Roland Fortin. The 91-year-old has laid down a challenge to box fitness guru Jack LaLanne, who's 92.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070307/ap_on_fe_st/senior_boxing

Popper on the Hook; What a Way to Run Around

Blues Traveler singer and harmonica player John Popper was arrested after the vehicle he was riding in was clocked going 111 mph. Inside the black Mercedes SUV, officers found a cache of weapons and a small amount of marijuana, the Patrol said. A police dog searched the vehicle, finding numerous hidden compartments containing four rifles, nine handguns and a switchblade knife. Authorities also found a Taser and night vision goggles.

http://keyetv.com/entertainment/entertainment_story_067024506.html

So Much Quality Death to Report this Week...
Cap'n Couldn't make it Happen; Crunch and Hook Fear for Lives
He fought and triumphed over Hitler, Tojo, international Communism and a host of supervillains, but he could not dodge a sniper's bullet. Comic book hero Captain America is dead.
Eagleton Soars off Endangered Species List, Plummets to Death
Missouri's political leaders in both parties summed up the legacy of Sen. Thomas F. Eagleton with the same word: statesman. Sen. Eagleton, a Democrat, died Sunday at St. Mary's Medical Center of "a combination of heart, respiratory and other problems that overwhelmed his weakened system," his family said.
She Made Sure to First use the Little Death Before the Big Death
Proper manners authority Marjabelle Young Stewart, the author of more than 20 books and ruler of the "White Gloves" and "Blue Blazers" children's etiquette empires, has died. She was 82.
Ooh, That Death so Scandalous and You Know Another Food-services Provider Can't Handle It
Food-services provider Sysco Inc. on Wednesday said founder John F. Baugh died on Monday. He was 91. His death comes 37 years after the company's initial public offering on March 3, 1970.
Rosengarden Beloved Amongst Friends for Coin Collecting, Magazine Archiving, and Sports Following
Bobby Rosengarden, the versatile jazz drummer and talk show bandleader who played bongos for Harry Belafonte and laid down a beat for Jimi Hendrix during a "Dick Cavett Show" performance, has died, his family confirmed Monday. He was 82.
Voulez Vukovich avec moi ce soir; Philadelphians Boo His Death
John Vukovich, the longest-serving coach in Philadelphia Phillies history and a member of their only World Series championship team in 1980, died Thursday. He was 59.
Wide World of Sports; Narrow World of Death
Andy Sidaris, the television sports pioneer who finished his career surrounded by scantily clad B-movie beauties, has died. He was 76. Known for his ebullient personality and creative approach to televised sports, Sidaris directed the first "Wide World of Sports" for ABC, a job he continued for the next 25 years.
Chinnock Dying in the Dark; Set to Perform for The Boss
Bill Chinnock, an instrumentalist, singer and songwriter who was a founding member of what later became. Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, died Wednesday at his home. He was 59.
Death Happens. We Score It.
The Commissioner's Council

Friday, March 2, 2007

TWID - Purim Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We dive in for the 200 meter crawl event and we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Points this week were awarded for the successful deaths of Lamar Lundy and Bruce Bennett. To them, we bid adieu. On to the Health Notices...

Hef renewed for 82nd season
Hugh Hefner has no plans to fade away. Not when there's a new generation to woo and new women to love. All on display to viewers of the cable show that's become a hit. "The Girls Next Door" is about to start its third season on E!
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/03/02/earlyshow/leisure/celebspot/main2531455.shtml

Brr...it's cold in here. There must be Mr. Noodle in the atmosphere
The late inventor of instant noodles was symbolically blasted off into space at a funeral ceremony attended by thousands in Osaka, western Japan. The event was a tribute to Momofuku Ando's creation of Space Ram, a noodle soup that works at zero gravity.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6406001.stm

And now: Death! In points-less form...

Nice guy with heart of lion and the intelligence of a wily fox laid to rest; animal kingdom mourns loss
Clem Labine, a relief pitcher who threw two of baseball's most significant shutouts in his role as a part-time starter and pitched for two Dodgers World Series teams in the 1950s, died Friday. He was 80.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2785685

Here's hoping the name of the historian who documents his history is Kennedy
Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., the historian whose more than 20 books shaped discussions for two generations about America's past, and who himself was a provocative, unabashedly liberal partisan, most notably in serving in the Kennedy White House, died last night in Manhattan. He was 89.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/28/washington/28cnd-schlesinger.html?ex=1330318800&en=60d7735383fe4902&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Still slotted as the Running Back of choice to rush for 1,000 yards in 2007
Denver Broncos reserve tailback Damien Nash collapsed and died Saturday night after an appearance in a charity basketball game in St. Louis.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2778713

Coffin is 1-1/2 inches by 3/4 inch
Walker Edmiston, an actor who was the voice of many cartoon and puppet characters, including Ernie the Keebler elf in TV commercials, has died. He was 81.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/28/deaths.edmiston.ap/index.html

Death and Taxes... TWIT to Follow. We Remain...

The Commissioner's Council

Friday, February 23, 2007

TWID Notes - Brunei National Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We dive in for the 200 meter crawl event and we take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

No points were earned this week... a disappointing performance by El Esta Adead. On to the Health Notices...

Forget Health... Even Age Doesn't Affect Castro; Niece Says He is "Stupendous"
Fidel Castro's niece said Sunday he was recovering well from surgery and would likely be "very active" again in Cuba's government. "Fidel is stupendous," said Mariela Castro Espin, daughter of acting President Raul Castro. Fidel Castro, 80, has disappeared from view since temporarily ceding power to his younger brother, aside from occasional videotaped meetings with foreign visitors.
http://www.cubanet.org/CNews/y07/feb07/23e6.htm

Next Recovery Step, Piper to Pick a Peck of Pickled Peppers

Legend Rowdy Roddy Piper has been out of action since being diagnosed with cancer in November, but made his first RAW appearance in his hometown of Portland. Looking better than he has in ages, I might add. With tears in his eyes, he took in the thunderous standing ovation given by the fans.
http://www.the-trades.com/article.php?id=5232

Johnson Improves, Still not an Ambi-turner
South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson has left a Washington hospital and entered a private facility to continue rehabilitation. Part of Johnson's therapy has been to deal with weakness on his right side.
Johnson will continue undergoing physical, occupational and speech therapy. Doctors say he's made "great progress" and that another test showed no evidence of the tangled arteries that triggered his brain hemorrhage in mid-December.
http://www.ktiv.com/News/index.php?ID=10366

Farrakhan to Say Farewell...to Nation of Islam, not Life
Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan is heading into what's billed as his final major address Sunday, and some Muslims are wondering whether the fiery orator - slowed by poor health - will try to repair old divisions between his movement and mainstream Islam.
http://www.denverpost.com/headlines/ci_5275220

And now: Death! In points-less form...

Britney's Hotness Officially Laid to Rest. Why do These Tears Come at Night?
Family and friends fear for health of pop superstar Britney Spears after she shaved off her own hair during a bizarre outing in Los Angeles on Friday. The singer and mother of two stunned fans and paparazzi photographers when she walked into a hairdressing salon in the city and asked a stylist to cut all her hair off.
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2007/02/18/fears_for_britney_spears_as_she_shaves_o

Prime Minister of Chad No Longer Hanging On
Chad's Prime Minister Pascal Yoadimnadji died from a brain hemorrhage in Paris on Friday after he was flown there for urgent treatment following a heart attack. He was 56.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/02/23/chad.death.reut/index.html?section=cnn_latest

Beer King Hops Off; Who is On Tap to Fill his Boots?
Alan D. Eames, a beer historian and author whose globe-trotting research into exotic brews and their origins earned him the nickname "The Beer King," has died. He was 59. "He used to say that beer is food, nourishing to the body and the soul."
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/02/16/ap3434415.html

"Now There's a Steal by Bird... Underneath to DJ... He Lays to Rest"
Dennis Johnson, the star NBA guard who was part of three championships and teamed with Larry Bird on one of the great postseason plays, died Thursday after collapsing at the end of his developmental team's practice. He was 52.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2775430

Death and Taxes... TWIT to Follow. We Remain...

The Commissioner's Council

Saturday, February 17, 2007

TWID Notes - The Valentine's Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We ride Cupid's Golden Arrows as they take us from the shallow to the deep end, and catch us up on all the news we need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Fare thee well, Charlie Norwood and Maurice Papon. Watch out, rest of El Esta Adead's roster... Fair Warning.

Johnson unfazed by low-functioning brain - Back to Work
Sen. Tim Johnson is reading news clippings and starting to do some office work from the hospital, almost two months after suffering a life-threatening brain hemorrhage.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/4541998.html

Ali Khamenei in danger of becoming Ali Coma-nei
The War of the Persian Succession is on, as Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei's worsening condition becomes an open secret. His bad health is discussed in the Iranian press, and in the last week the former president and the supporters of potential successors have begun literally and figuratively fighting each other all over the country.
http://www.aei.org/publications/filter.all,pubID.25615/pub_detail.asp

And now, other deaths. We mourn their losses and hope that they were picked in the Death Pool in the Sky...

Good Genes Gone Bad. Guaranteed Not to Run for Reelection
Former Congressman M.G. "Gene" Snyder, who represented Kentucky for 11 terms in the House of Representatives, died late last night in Naples, Fla., according to a family friend. He was 79.
http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770217015

The tragedy was that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog had Mustard... For Him to Poupon!
Ian Richardson died Friday at age 72, his agent said. In addition to his many stage, screen and TV roles, Richardson also appeared in one of the mustard commercials as the man in the Rolls-Royce who asked, "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?"
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/09/obit.richardson.ap/index.html

At last, Her Feet Finally Rest
Florence Zacks Melton, who took a material invented as a helmet liner for World War II tank crewmen and turned it into cushy foam-rubber slippers that have soothed billions of tired feet and have been a familiar gift for four decades, died Jan. 8 near her home in Boca Raton, Fla. She was 95.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/14/obituaries/14melton.html?ex=1329109200&en=c4fd487775e06c16&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Hit The Mute Button for a Moment of Silence
Robert Adler, the co-inventor of the wireless television remote control, has died at the age of 93 in Idaho, Zenith Electronics said in a statement on Saturday.
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1080574

We're Just glad El Esta Adead didn't pick us...

The Commissioner's Council

Friday, February 9, 2007

TWID Notes - The TWIDDD Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We ride Anna Nicole Smith's flotation devices and take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor.

Goodbye Frankie Laine. We Barely knew ye, but we are sorry your name was Frankie and not just Frank.

We will push off health notices and start this week, for two big reasons, with Notable, albeit points-less, deaths...

Do You Still Have to Sleep with Heff in the Playboy Mansion in the Sky?
Anna Nicole Smith died Thursday at a South Florida hospital after being discovered unconscious in her hotel room. The reality TV star, Playboy Playmate and former Guess model was 39.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/08/anna.nicole.collapses/index.html

Mod Squad Captain Makes his Final Arrest
Tige Andrews, the Emmy-nominated character actor who portrayed a police captain in charge of a trio of hip, young crime fighters in "The Mod Squad," has died. He was 86. Andrews died January 27 of cardiac arrest at his home in the San Fernando Valley of California, his family said.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/06/obit.andrews.ap/index.html

White Gives up Track, Will Stay in Field
Willye B. White, who willed her way out of the Mississippi Delta cotton fields and became the first American track and field athlete to compete in five Olympics, died yesterday in Chicago. She was 67.


http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/07/sports/othersports/07white.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

After Steve and Barber-O, Tiki and Ronde Better Be Careful
Steve Barber, the first 20-game winner in modern Baltimore Orioles history and the losing pitcher in one of baseball's wildest no-hitters, has died. He was 67.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2755169

This Must be the Only Thing Jack Can't Prevent
Hank Bauer, a hard-hitting, hard-nosed outfielder for the New York Yankees and former major league manager who made his home in the Kansas City area, died today after a battle with cancer. He was 84.
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/sports/baseball/16663076.htm

And Some Health News to Report...

Norwood Pulls a Buchwald; He is on His Own
US Representative Charlie Norwood has decided not to receive any more hospital care for lung cancer. The popular congressman declined a surgery to remove a tumor on his liver, and tonight he's back home in Augusta.
http://www.wrdw.com/politics/headlines/5654691.html

If Only TWID Would Have Come Up With This...Hmm...

There are two inescapable facts of life. Death and taxes. Obit Magazine's planned launch has definitely been "taxing." The "lifestyle of death" publication was scheduled to be born this month. However, the birth has been pushed back until midyear. Bob and Barbara Hillier, publishers, are partners in a local Princeton newspaper, Town Topics.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/02042007/business/obit_magazine_is_waiting_for_shelf_life_to_begin_business_steve_viuker.htm

We are one tenth of the way through... Congratulations to Die Hard on his early lead. Don't worry everyone, it's a long year. There is much death to come.

The Commissioner's Council

Saturday, February 3, 2007

TWID - Groundhog Edition

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Syms-like educated death pool competitor.

It's been a wild week in death. Goodbye Marcheline Bertrand, Sidney Sheldon, Gian Carlo Menotti. We hope Elton John writes a song about you. Your candle burned out long ago, their legend never did.


He is also Going to Start Rolling his Weed in Parchment Paper
Keith Richards has taken a health conscious move - he has started drinking organic vodka. The Rolling Stones rocker, who is renowned for his drink and drug use, was encouraged to go organic by bandmate Ronnie Wood's wife, Jo Wood.

Farrakhan Fare of Health
Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan has been released from a hospital and is expected to speak Feb. 25 in Detroit in what could be his last major public address.

Fidel Healthy Enough to Play Field (The Joke is that Fidel and Field are Anagrams)
Cubans lined up Wednesday to buy official newspapers featuring photographs of a stronger-looking Fidel Castro, with the communist government eager to show he is recovering after a half-year out of power.

Six-ty And Sick-Free!
Farrah Fawcett got an unbeatable gift for her 60th birthday: a clean bill of health. The actress, who revealed in October that she was fighting cancer, learned this week that she is cancer-free, spokesman Mike Pingel said Friday.

Happy Birthday to Sharon's Coma... And You Smell Like One Too
The family of Ariel Sharon has said it believes the former Israeli prime minister will emerge from his coma and return to health as its vigil by his hospital bed reached its first anniversary.

Finally, a Reason to Watch the Super Bowl
Sunday's pregame show will be for more than six hours, beginning at 10 a.m. with the traditional Road to the Super Bowl, a detailed highlight film of the 2006 season. Also scheduled is a report on Bill Walsh and his current health struggles.

It's a Shame No One Can Help him Commit Suicide
Kevorkian is 78 and reportedly suffers from a number of health ailments, including diabetes, hepatitis C, vertigo, high blood pressure and hardening of the arteries.

Long Live the King!
B.B. King's ill is gone. The 81-year-old bluesman was released from a Galveston, Texas hospital Saturday where he was admitted on Thursday for flu-like symptoms, including a low-grade fever. After a round of antibiotics, King was back to his old self and feeling fabulous, according to a spokeswoman for his management agency.

And Now, a few notable, albeit point-less deaths

Ned Ryerson: "You Know Who Died? BING!"
Bing Devine, the St. Louis general manager who helped build Cardinals teams that won three National League pennants and two World Series in the 1960s, died Saturday. He was 90.
Who Knows seven? I know seven! Seven are the deaths in Death Pool...

Fondly,
The Commissioner's Council

Friday, January 26, 2007

TWID Notes Volume 4

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Syms-like educated death pool competitor.

Please accept TWID's sincere apology for our one day delay. The TWID committee was slightly ill this week. Don't worry, had it been serious, it would be one of the headlines...

Suck it up and quit being such a B.B.
Eighty-one-year-old blues legend B.B. King cancelled a show and was admitted to a Galveston, Texas, hospital with "flu-like symptoms," a hospital spokesman said on Friday. King, who is diabetic but otherwise said to be in good health, was admitted to the University of Texas Medical Branch's Acute Care for Elders Unit at about 9:15 p.m. Thursday, hospital spokesman John Koloen said.
Still time to turn in this Papert
US Professor Seymour Papert, who got into a motorbike accident in Hanoi in December 2006, has recovered his strength. Prof Papert's family said that he had been discharged from the hospital in Boston in the US. He is now still undergoing treatment at home. Luckily enough, he will not have any after-effects after the head trauma and now he can speak.
Once, Twice, Three times a Lady Bird
Green cited LBJ's education accomplishments — creating Head Start, launching a federal student aid program and directing funds to elementary and secondary schools — and said they may have been overshadowed by other facets of his presidency. He and the other Texans are feeling a sense of urgency to get the tribute done because Johnson's widow, Lady Bird Johnson, is in poor health. http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/4484765.html
Looking to reclaim her spot as an angel?
Farrah Fawcett is facing another medical nightmare – she must have surgery to stop her going blind. The former Charlie's Angel began losing her sight after months of painful chemotherapy for intestinal cancer.
Non-points related deaths for the week...

Former Reds pitching coach Vern Ruhle died Saturday night at MD Anderson Hospital in Houston of complications from a donor stem cell transplant for the treatment of multiple myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow. He was 55.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2738152

E. Howard Hunt, who helped organize the Watergate break-in, leading to the greatest scandal in American political history and the downfall of Richard Nixon's presidency, died Tuesday. He was 88.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4494293.html

26 days, 4 deaths and counting...
The Commissioner's Council

Saturday, January 20, 2007

TWID Notes! Volume 3

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Syms-like educated death pool competitor.

Please accept TWID's sincere apology for our one day delay. The TWID committee was slightly ill this week. Don't worry, had it been serious, it would be one of the headlines...

I would still rather be Charlie Norwood than Scott Norwood
Georgia U.S. Rep. Charlie Norwood could be forced to miss work as he fights through chemotherapy for cancer that has spread to his liver, his spokesman said.
http://www.macon.com/mld/macon/news/politics/16448046.htm

Conte Can't-e Hack it
Guinea's president, Lansana Conte, is unfit for the country's top office, Guinea's Trade Unions have said. They say that his health condition is not good enough to lead Guinea and thus should step down.
http://somalinet.com/news/world/Africa/6656

Healthy Enough for...... A NEW CAR!
Barker, who turned 83 in December, said he wanted to retire "while I'm still young," and credits his vegetarian diet for his good health. He had a different answer when asked how he's able to maintain his energy. "Booze," he said to a laugh.
http://keyetv.com/entertainment/entertainment_story_019121601.html

And now for something completely different...

Which Came First- the Cancer or the Egg?
A common breed of hens known as ISA browns were genetically modified such that they lay eggs containing certain cancer-fighting drugs, according to a new study published in the upcoming issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
http://foodconsumer.org/7777/8888/C_ancer_31/011407342007_GM_chickens_lay_cancer-fighting_eggs.shtml

Obama's Assassination Chances Rise like his Popularity
Sen. Barack Obama launched a historic campaign Tuesday to become the first black president of the United States and immediately tried to turn his political inexperience into an asset with voters seeking change
.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070116/D8MMJ9E81.html

It was a big week for non-points related deaths...

He's not First; He's Last
Benny Parsons made a career of beating the odds, rising up from a childhood of poverty in the North Carolina foothills to a job as a Detroit cabbie, and eventually, becoming a NASCAR champion. He died Tuesday in Charlotte, N.C., where he had been hospitalized since Dec. 26 because of complications from his treatment. He was 65.
http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/news/story?seriesId=2&id=2732630

Pookie Passes on. Three Men and a Baby Live On
Thornton James "Pookie" Hudson, lead singer of the Spaniels doo wop group best known for the 1954 hit "Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight," has died. He was 72.
http://www.examiner.com/a-513604~Doo_wop_singer__Pookie__Hudson_dies_at_72.html

No Crying in Baseball; Death/ Sobbing Policy Undetermined
Betty Trezza, a pioneering player in the World War II-era All-American Girls Professional Baseball League and a model for one of the characters in the 1992 movie "A League of Their Own," has died. She was 81.
http://wcco.com/sports/local_story_018160347.html

He was Kind of a Big Deal and Had Many Leather Bound Books
Former U.S. Sen. George A. Smathers, a polished, dashing politician who forged friendships with presidents, waged war against communism, resisted civil rights legislation and was an early voice cautioning of Fidel Castro's rise to power, died Saturday. He was 93.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4485495.html

Final "Greetings from Asbury Park"
Former professional wrestler Scott Bam Bam Bigelow has passed away from an unknown cause at age 45. Bigelow, a native of Asbury Park, New Jersey, retired from professional wrestling officially in 2004.
http://media-newswire.com/release_1041696.html

20 days, 4 deaths and counting...
The Commissioner's Council

Friday, January 12, 2007

TWID Notes! Volume 2

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Syms-like educated death pool competitor.

The Rumors of his Death have been Greatly Exaggerated: A TWID Update
Iran's ambassador to the United Nations says there is no truth to reports his nation's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Hoseini-Khamenei, has died.
http://www.upi.com/InternationalIntelligence/view.php?StoryID=20070105-122356-8351r

Farrakhan Farracan't Anymore
Minister Louis Farrakhan, who recently ceded leadership of the Nation of Islam to an executive board because of ill health, has undergone a 12-hour operation, the organization said Saturday.
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2007/1/6/204433.shtml

Maybe Leo McGarry Should go Down and See how he is Doing
THE US intelligence community still believes Cuban leader Fidel Castro is terminally ill and has "months, not years" to live. Though a Spanish doctor visited Castro last month and denied he has cancer, Ross Feinstein, spokesman for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, said "The bottom line: He is terminally ill."
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21023271-23109,00.html

Johnson Stiffens up: He should be Okay
U.S. Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) underwent an angiogram this morning at George Washington University Hospital. Senator Johnson's overall medical condition has improved steadily over the past three weeks. The next phase of his recovery is expected to take several months and focus upon rehabilitation and physical therapy.
http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail6375.cfm?Id=0,53584

Seems the Martyrs Brigade may turn to Violence

Additionally, members of Fatah's al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades threatened to assassinate Foreign Minister Mahmoud al-Zahar and Interior Minister Saeed Seyam of Hamas.
http://www.albawaba.com/en/countries/Palestine/208135

Now That's HIP!
Former President George H.W. Bush, 82, has undergone successful right hip replacement surgery, the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, said Thursday.
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2007/1/4/171539.shtml?s=ic

Bad News for Than Shwe's Internal Feng Shui
Reports have emerged from sources close to Singapore General Hospital that State Peace and Development Council leader senior general Than Shwe is receiving treatment for intestinal cancer.
http://english.dvb.no/news.php?id=8413

"Wind-driven Wildfire?" Sounds like Half of the Captain Planet Team Went too Far
Suzanne Somers' home was one of four destroyed by a wind-driven wildfire that swept through an exclusive seaside neighborhood of multimillion-dollar homes, a spokesman confirmed Tuesday. "My nature is to look at the glass half-full," Somers said in a statement Tuesday. "I truly believe we will learn something great from this experience." The 60-year-old actress and her husband, former game show host Alan Hamel, were out of town when the fire hit, and a Hamel spokesman said the home was a total loss.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/09/malibu.fire.ap/index.html

This Year's Rules Mean That This Isn't News
Barbaro is bouncing back again. The Kentucky Derby winner is spending hours in his protective sling, needed to deter sudden movement and make the colt comfortable as he fights back from his latest setback from laminitis.
http://www.dailysouthtown.com/sports/208292,122SPT5.article

And Two Non-Points Deaths to Report...

He will Never Again Ponti-ficate
Carlo Ponti, the prolific Italian producer of internationally acclaimed films such as ``Doctor Zhivago'' and ``Blowup'' and the longtime husband of Oscar-winning actress Sophia Loren, whom he discovered as a teenager in the 1950s and helped build into a star, has died. He was 94.
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/16443997.htm

She Made the M in MILF stand for Monster
Actress Yvonne De Carlo, who starred in films opposite Clark Gable and Charlton Heston but won enduring fame as wife of a Frankenstein monster-like character in the TV series The Munsters, has died at age 84.
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/16443997.htm

We hope you are enjoying TWID, hat tip "The Death Eaters," for contributing. Keep in touch with us!

Friday, January 5, 2007

TWID Notes - Volume 1

This Week in Death brings you: Notes from around the pool! We take you from the shallow to the deep end, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Syms-like educated death pool competitor.

Like Diem on the Duel, he probably shouldn't lift 150 bags of Coffee
Ed Koch was in the hospital on Monday but it wasn't anything serious, just a routine hernia operation. He went into Columbia-Presbyterian early that morning, had the surgery and was asked to stay overnight as a precaution in case of bleeding, because he's been on a blood thinner since a mild stroke in 1987. He was expected to be back at his office the following day.
[The Villager]

Seems like Someone should have just picked "Guinea" this Year
The ailing health of veteran President Lansana Conte has raised fears of a power struggle while economic collapse and rampant inflation have provoked the long-dormant unions into a wave of general strikes this year.
[Reuters]

More wood for Norwood, he is Okay!
U.S. Rep. Charlie Norwood was released from a hospital and was in good condition Friday after receiving chemotherapy treatment this week for a cancerous tumor doctors found near his liver. [AccessNorthGa.com]

It's Official, Castro may never Die
"Regarding my recovery, I have always warned that it could be a prolonged process, but it is far from being a lost battle. I collaborate as a disciplined patient, attended by the consecrated team of our doctors.

Blind Sheik's other Senses are not Heightened
The health of imprisoned Egyptian cleric Omar Abdel-Rahman, known as the Blind Sheik, is deteriorating, renewing fears that his death in prison could trigger an attack on the United States, officials said Thursday.
[Boston Herald]

And Finally... One Piece of Possible Good News for Future Research!
In future years, look for newsmagazines to do roundups not on who died during the previous year, but on who's going to die in the year ahead.
[Slate]

Let us know what you think of our new segment. Feedback keeps us going!

Rest in Peace, Teddy Kollek.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Everything You Need to Know

History
Rules
How Do I Sign Up?
What Qualifies as a Celebrity?
How Do Points Work?
What Happens During the Year?
How Will I Know If One of My Celebrities Died?
No Cost!
Summary

Welcome to Death Pool 2008!

Yes it's still the fall, but it's never too early to start planning for next year's Death Pool. To capture the bling and to drink from the glory of the Death Cup (yes, there really is a trophy), you must consider the three PR's: 1. Prepare, 2. Prognosticate, and 3. Pray. Use these months to brush up on your diseases and comb your health watches. This time next year you'll be happy you did.

History

DP 2007 featured a record 30 teams. Through October 2007, several teams remain in competition to make a last-quarter leap at the coveted Cup. As we look toward 2008, we hope to continue our rapid expansion. This celebration of life is an open invitation with plenty of hors d’ouvres to go around.

Rules

How does it work? We’re glad you asked.

You submit a list of 20 celebrities – plus three alternates - that you believe will die during the 2008 calendar year. The deadline for submission is Sunday, December 9 at 1 p.m. Mark it down on your calendar so you don't forget. By turning in your list in advance of the New Year, this will grant the Commissioner's Council (CC) enough time to check on all celebrity picks. Yes, we will be watching you, so choose wisely.

We’re asking for three alternates with your list in case one of your 20 dies between December 9 and the end of 2007. We’ll recruit from the top of your alternates list to replace your fallen soldier. In addition, in case one or more of your picks has been rejected due to failure to meet necessary eligibility qualifications*, we will also then take names from your alternates list. If you require more than three alternates, we will contact you privately to make you aware of the situation.

Be sure, also, to name your squad, and include an easily identifiable shortened name, nickname, or initials by which your friends can recognize you. We will post all team rosters to the death pool blog (see: “What happens during the year?” section for more information) on New Year’s Day, but will not post full names. Therefore, when choosing your shorthand nickname, please make sure that you pick something that either describes or defines you to others. (When in doubt, we recommend using initials.)

*The CC retains all rights to determine eligibility.

How Do I Sign Up?

All it takes is an email before the deadline with a list of the 23 celebrities – the top 20 being your preferred roster and the other three as designated alternates. Please include your team name and nickname at the top. The list should be sent in any readable format to bestdeathpoolever@gmail.com.

What Qualifies as a Celebrity?

This is perhaps the hardest aspect of the entire competition. In short, it's someone who is famous in his/her own right for his/her accomplishments during his/her life, and not only famous because of his/her death. We understand that this is extraordinarily difficult to predict while the person is still living, so here are some helpful tips.

People who do not count:

People on death row, unless they die from some other malady such as starvation, suicide or homicide. Those with impending death sentences are deemed too predictable;

People famous for being the oldest living person in a state, country, continent, planet or galaxy;

People famous only on a local level. Obituaries must run inside the mainstream media. Local politicians will not count unless they have made a name for themselves in a larger arena prior to 2008.

Animals. You may not take Murray from "Mad About You.”

Concepts or trends. Disco already died. Communism, terrorism and other "isms" must be left off.

If a terrorist or someone else is announced to have died in another year, but the announcement takes place in 2008, we go by the announcement. For example, if Jimmy Hoffa's body is discovered in 2008, he WILL count.

You may not attempt an act of murder in order to help your chances of winning DP 2008. Also, you may not donate organs to keep someone from the pool alive. If you perform either of these acts, you will be immediately disqualified from competition and all of your deaths for the year will be declared null and void. Use whatever resources you have to your advantage, as long as you are neither the direct cause of death nor continuation of life.

How Do Points Work?

The points system we have utilized in the past greatly rewards those who have taken the more obscure picks that pan out. Multiple participants will be selecting the same celebrities. For every participant who has that person, the value of the celebrity goes down. For instance, there were 30 teams in DP 2007. Former mayor of Jerusalem Teddy Kollek, who died in January 2007, was on only one roster. That team was awarded the maximum value. Had a second team chosen Kollek too, Kollek’s individual value would have been reduced to 15 points (30/2). Lady Bird Johnson, however, was chosen by 10 teams, rendering her worth 30/10, or 3 points, when she passed on.

The only exception to this formula is the amount of points allotted to a "solo shot" (a death picked by only one person). In order to keep the point totals from being skewed by multiple solo shots, we've limited the maximum. For example, this past year (30 teams), a solo shot was worth 20 points. For 2008, we’ll adjust the maximum point total according to the number of participants who sign up. You’ll be informed on January 1st what this year’s scoring system is, including the maximum points total allotted to solo shots.

Note: Percentage points will always be rounded to the hundredth place in order to maximize chaos and fun.

What Happens During the Year?

During the year, the CC will contact you with breaking news to announce when points are awarded. Updated DP Score Sheets will be sent out indicating who died. We encourage you to monitor your rosters from time to time and to inform us if you hear news we haven’t yet reported.

DP 2008 need not be a "set it and forget it" experience. Our goal is to run the most active – and interactive – DP possible. To that end, The Commissioner's Council will be maintaining a blog at www.bestdeathpoolever.blogspot.com which we hope will be a one-stop source of limitless information. The blog will include links to team rosters, updated standings, as well as celebrity birthdays, interest-worthy stories, inside looks at rosters and strategy, and up-to-the-minute health updates and death notices.

Feel free to bookmark the blog or subscribe to it through our RSS feed. It is also a place for you to use our comments section to post feedback, jokes, comments, and general idiocy. Take a look around; by all means, use it as a resource when preparing for DP 2008. The water's always warm in this pool.

We assure you that DP 2008 takes privacy concerns very seriously, and anonymity will be protected in our blogging efforts. Your name will never appear anywhere on the site. Rosters will be posted, but will identify you only through your team name and nickname/shortened name/initials that are included with your roster.


How Will I Know if One of My Celebrities Dies?

The Commissioner's Council will do their absolute best to monitor all chosen celebrities. However, we strongly encourage each participant to periodically "manage" his/her own roster to make sure that a death hasn't fallen through the cracks. If you come across a death announcement or pertinent news item of someone from your roster, feel free to pass it along to bestdeathpoolever@gmail.com. This partnership will enable us to better serve you.

I'm Game. How Much Does it Cost?

DP is 100% gluten – and money – free.

Summary

What we need from you by the December 9 deadline:
1. Your roster of 20 celebrities along with three alternates
2. Your team name
3. Your nickname (to appear with your roster on the blog; if left blank we will use your initials)

Feel free to pass this literature along to others who might be interested in signing up. All it takes is an email in late 2007, and they're in. Please remember that DP 2008 is not sick, twisted or morbid; it's a religion.

In the immortal words of Ricky Martin:

"Here we go! Ale, Ale Ale! Go, go, go! Ale, Ale Ale!
Arriba va! El mundo esta de pie. Go, Go, Gol!! Ale, Ale, Ale…
Reach for the cup of life. 'Cause your name is on it!"

--The Commish