Roger Smith Fails His Final Safety Rating

Former General Motors Corp Chief Executive Roger Smith has died. He was 82. Years. Old.

Smith was appointed chairman and CEO of General Motors in January 1981 and continued at the helm of the world's largest automaker until July 1990. In his tenure, he oversaw a sweeping reorganization of the No. 1 U.S. automaker, and some nice things were said about him:

"Roger Smith led GM during a period of tremendous innovation in the industry," GM CEO Rick Wagoner said on Friday. "He was a leader who knew we had to accept change, understand change, and learn to make it work for us."

However, it was not all roses. He also oversaw what has been called "the biggest catastrophe in American industrial history." In 1984, he tried to replace every mid-size car produced by GM. His plan crashed in a head on collision. He had no airbags. He caused traffic to back up for miles. Yes, he was that guy.

On the plus side, Michael Moore made a documentary about him. I didn't see it, but I imagine we learned that GM's failed plan was a vast George Bush led conspiracy to get car making power back in the hands of Dick Cheney.

[Reuters]

We Got No Basketball Team, No Radio Announcers... Our PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!

The city of Seattle suffered a great loss yesterday when longtime Radio personality Larry Nelson died of lung cancer at the age of 70. Nelson was known as "the soundtrack of the morning" as he hosted the morning show on KOMO-AM/1000 from the 1960s to his retirement in 1997 with a warm, friendly, upbeat but never frenetic approach that drew in generations of listeners. He was also widely known in the Seattle area for his on-air Huskies tailgate parties when KOMO was the broadcast rights holder for University of Washington football.

Up to the last, son Jeff said, his father was providing him with material for his show. "Some of the jokes were delightfully inappropriate," he said. "I'm still trying to get a handle of how to tell them on the air."

Sounds like our type of guy.

[Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

What do Dick Clark and Jaques Barzun Have in Common?

A double dose of birthday for you, as you ponder the possibility that someone is taking out South Korean quarry workers, Munich style...

Today is somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Historian Jaques Barzun's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 100! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Jaques Barzun appears on 1 2007 Death Pool roster and because we're throwing you this party, we leave you with a little goody bag-

• In 2000, he finished the 800 page From Dawn to Decadence: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life, 1500 to the Present. He has had five more works published since that time

For more on Barzun, check out the Barzun100 blog or this piece from last month's New Yorker magazine

Today is somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Entertainment Mogul Dick Clark's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 78! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Dick Clark appears on 9 2007 Death Pool rosters and because we're throwing you this party, we leave you with a little goody bag-

• Clark's career in show business began in 1945 when he started working in the mailroom of radio station WRUN in Utica, New York (which was owned by his uncle and managed by his father). Clark's first television hosting job was on the Cactus Dick and the Santa Fe Riders, a country music program.

... And Many More!

Steve Fossett May Become Victim of the Seven Year Itch

We brought you news earlier this week about Steve Fossett, explorer not-so-extraordinaire, who disappeared while flying his plane in September. Now, I am no explorer. I don't even play one on TV like Bear Grylls. But I think I could guess some of the rules to "How to explore stuff 101." For example, I would put the following somewhere on my list:

1. Bring a Parachute
2. Have something (let's say a transponder) to send out a distress signal
   

Fossett brought neither. And now his wife wants him to be declared legally dead. But what are the rules on that? When can a death announcement be made? Like craps, it's a 7 that changes everything:

"Seven years is simply the line in Illinois after which the basic presumption changes," said Floyd Perkins, a former Illinois assistant attorney general... "Before seven years, anyone who wants you declared legally dead has to offer evidence that you're not alive. But after you've been missing seven years, anyone who wants you declared alive has to offer evidence that you're not dead."

So what are Mrs. Fossett's chances here? In reality it comes down to one basic issue:

If the preponderance of evidence points toward death, then the missing person is declared dead. If it points toward life, the legal waiting game continues, sometimes well beyond seven years.

So Mrs. Fossett might not be up a creek without a parachute after all...

[Chicago Tribune]

With Hyde Gone, It'll Be All Jekyll, All the Time

It is with great pride that The Death Pool announces its first death in a form as old as today's deceased: the limerick.

There once was a Congressman named Hyde,
Who tried to oust Clinton, who lied.
He had an affair,
Vetoed abortion health care,
Regrettably, this morning, he died.

[USA Today]

Go Jayceon, It's Your Birthday. We Gonna Party Like It's Your Birthday

If you thought the Hornets were terrible in New Orleans and Oklahoma City, stay out of Cambodia. Or, at the very least, if you do go to Cambodia, don't disturb a Hornets nest.

Today is somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Rapper Jayceon "The Game" Taylor's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 28! And Never been Kissed By... Death

The Game appears on 1 2007 Death Pool roster and because we're throwing you this party, we leave you with a little goody bag-

• Taylor had a short stint at Washington State University on a basketball scholarship. He was kicked out in his first semester because of drug allegations. At the age of eighteen, he began to follow his older half brother, "Big Fase 100", who was the leader of the Cedar Block Pirus. Taylor was shot five times after a failed drug deal in 2001, receiving bullet wounds to the heart, stomach, arms, and leg. The attack put him in a three day coma and while recovering in the hospital, he decided to pursue a career in the rap industry.

... And Many More!

Heart Attack for Hartack. Bill Vetoed.

It's heart disease, actually. But what kind of headline does that make?

(I am sad to admit that that reminds me of an episode of Tea Leoni's "The Naked Truth" when she changes the number of dogs someone owns so the headline can read 'Mary Nine's Nine K9s.' The worst part? That's in my head; It's more detail than the episode summary gives you.)

Bill Hartack, a 74 year old Hall of Fame jockey died in Texas while on a hunting vacation. Hartack was a five-time winner of the Kentucky Derby. He won his first horse race in 1953, at the tender age of 19. But the story of his 1957 win might be the most interesting:

By the mid-’50s, Hartack was widely acknowledged as one of the top riders in the sport. He rode his first Kentucky Derby winner in 1957 aboard Iron Liege, which is perhaps the most infamous Derby in racing history. Iron Liege may have won only because Bill Shoemaker, another major star of his era, aboard Gallant Man, misjudged the finish and eased his horse before the finish line.

You think he knows that no matter where you finish, all jockeys eat from the same oat bag in the sky? "Oat bag, I got my Oat bag..."

[NYTimes]

Facing Death in Cambodia?

The American Heart Association recommends a number of key steps we all can take to prevent heart attacks: Stop smoking, lower your blood pressure, eat a healthy diet, be physically active, and get regular medical checkups. At least former Cambodian king Norodom Sihanouk is making the effort to prevent more conditions from developing.

Cambodia's King Norodom Sihamoni accompanied his elderly parents, former king Norodom Sihanouk and Queen Mother Norodom Monineath, to Beijing Wednesday. [T]he royals will undergo routine medical tests, and King Sihamoni will return to Cambodia next week, although his parents will stay on for an unspecified time.

Sihanouk, 85, has twice beaten colon cancer and suffers from a range of other ailments including diabetes and high blood pressure. He abdicated in favour of his son in 2004, citing his advancing age and ill health, and has lived in Beijing most of the time since.

For pictures from the royals' departure, see here.

[Earthtimes]

We Celebrate Claude Levi Strauss's Birthday Because it is Functional for the Social Order

It's been a week since our last birthday throwdown. You really should not be hung over anymore.

Here's you birthday invitation, while you consider whether Abraham Lincoln would have been a good Death Pool pick - regardless of his assassination- back in DP '65.

Today is somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Anthropologist (not jeans maker) Claude Lévi-Strauss's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 99! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Strauss appears on 5 2007 Death Pool rosters and because we're throwing you this party, we leave you with a little goody bag-

• Strauss is most famous for his structural study of myth, which examines the reasons that disparate societies have such similar myths and superstitions. Look into it. It's worth it.
  

... And Many More!

Bitch is More Trouble Than She's Worth

Hotel operator Leona Helmsley died earlier this year, leaving a portion of her large estate to her dog. Her chauffeur, Nicholas Celea, received $100,000 for his time with Helmsley.

When Helmsley died last August and left $12 million to her tiny Maltese, Trouble, the last will and testament only reinforced the urban legend that she didn't care much for humans. It came as little surprise that there would be hostility towards the dog. But death and kidnapping threats seem a little extreme.

"I think the reaction was really quite bizarre," Helmsley's longtime friend John Codey told Early Show national correspondent Tracy Smith. Codey is in charge of the pampered pooch and her trust fund. He said he was alarmed by the number of threats and estimates that Trouble received about 20 or 30.

"'I'm gonna kill the dog,'" he said people threatened. "'I'm gonna kidnap the dog. I need the $12 million.'"

We can't help but wonder if Codey had supervised Helmsley the way he does now that pooch if she could have avoided that whole tax evasion problem way back when. "Pay your taxes like a good girl. Atta girl. You're the best employer in the whole, wide world."

[CBS News]

Mostly Dead or All Dead? Sadly, Miracle Max Was Unavailable for Comment

Whether you're Jewish or not, being an Agunah really sucks. Peggy Fossett is kind of sick of it, and is trying to take action:

The wife of millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett, who disappeared while flying his plane in September in rugged Western terrain, asked a court Monday to declare him legally dead. The request was a step toward resolving the legal status of Fossett's estate, which according to court papers is "vast, surpassing eight figures in liquid assets, various entities and real estate," LoVallo said.

Fossett, 63, disappeared Sept. 3 after taking off in a single-engine plane from an airstrip near Yerington, Nev., heading toward Bishop, Calif. Fossett was on a pleasure flight and not looking for a dry lake to use as a surface on which to set the world land speed record, as was initially reported, according to the petition filed on behalf of Peggy V. Fossett. He did not have a parachute, nor did he take a watch that had a transponder and could have sent out a distress signal, the petition said. There was a transponder aboard but no signal was received. With winter closing in, a rescue effort that involved dozens of planes and helicopters was officially suspended after more than a month of searching. The National Transportation Safety Board concluded in a preliminary report that the plane was destroyed in a fatal accident.

If she still has trouble getting the pronouncement, I recommend calling Meinhardt Raabe.

[Houston Chronicle]

Life's a Sport; Death's the Final Whistle

Dr. James Robert Cade was not just a co-inventor of the sports drink Gatorade. He was also a University of Florida professor.

Gatorade has become a boon for UF, generating $150 million in royalties for the university and helping to establish UF as a premier research institution.

His colleagues remember him as a multi-faceted individual committed to furthering education.

Dr. Jim Free, who worked under Cade in the creation of Gatorade, said Tuesday that Cade was first and foremost a kind man who made it his mission to spread knowledge.

"His contributions were so multiple that it's just hard to cover them," Free said. "His main contribution is that he was a very nice, decent, generous person, and that he was dedicated to education. He was a real educator, a real researcher and a real academician and held a real place of honor at the University of Florida because he spent his whole career there teaching and doing his research. The things he's accomplished have been amazing."

Along the way, Cade became somewhat of a legend. He's one of the subjects of Darren Rovell's "First in Thirst: How Gatorade Turned The Science of Sweat Into A Cultural Phenomenon." And in his later years even found his way onto the boob tube. But way back in 1966, the Florida Times-Union summarized the Gatorade kick with this headline: "One Lil' Swig of That Kickapoo Juice and Biff, Bam, Sock — It’s Gators, 8-2."

Cade had an insatiable curiosity that couldn't be quenched by any sports drink.

[Tampa Bays 10]

I Wonder If These Guys Do The Scrooge McDuck In Their Death Pool

If they are not taking the Scrooge McDuck plunge, they should have watched more Disney afternoon. They obviously don't know the sheer, ecstatic joy of swimming through coins. Trust me- they have enough money to do it.

Alan Buerger is profiled in the Wall Street Journal as a pioneer in "Life Settlement" policies. What is that, you ask? Buerger leads a pack of people who buy life insurance policies off the living.

How about an example: Let's call the guy Stephen. Stephen needs some spare cash, so he sells his mother's $2 million life insurance policy to Buerger, who continues to pay the yearly premium, for 205,000 up front. Now, let's realize that this isn't a hypothetical -

Stephen Ellis needed cash, quickly, when he went over budget on a new house he was building. So the 48-year-old mortgage banker from Annapolis, Md., started shopping two policies, with a combined death benefit of $2 million, that he had taken out on his 75-year-old mother. Mr. Ellis had been paying $35,000 a year for the policies, he says, but the insurer would have paid him virtually nothing to cash them out... A small firm offered $205,000. He accepted. "I didn't really look at it as morbid," says Mr. Ellis, who supports his mother financially. "I thought, 'Wow what an incredible way to put a value on this.'" His mother has been in poor health but approved of the sale to benefit him now rather than later, he says. She was unavailable for comment.

I think i would hate to be a fly, but if I had to be one, I would have wanted to be the fly on their wall to overhear that conversation. "Look, mom... I'm going to sell your life insurance to someone who is financially invested in your imminent death... but before you complain, check out these beautiful granite countertops. In a house like this, you could die happy. Not you! One. One could die happy. I totally care whether you live..."

[Wall Street Journal]

Sean Taylor Sacked By Intruders

Kevin Everett's injury earlier this season reminded us that there are many risks inherent in being an NFL Player. This is not supposed to be one of them:

Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor died early Tuesday, a day after he was shot at home by what police say was an intruder. He was 24.

"It's a tremendously sad and unnecessary event. He was a wonderful, humble, talented young man, and had a huge life in front of him. Obviously God had other plans" family friend Richard Sharpstein said.

[ESPN]

Keith Richards is Using Drugs!

It wasn't too long ago that we brought you news of Keith Richards slurred acceptance speech at the Scream Awards. To be honest, its probably been 60 years since Richards gave an un-slurred speech, but this one was more rambling than The Allman Brothers' Man. Shockingly, it seems, it was not due to cocaine:

Reports now claim his slurred speech could be a side effect of the medication he takes daily to prevent seizures. He takes Dilantin, which slows down nerve impulses in the brain. He has been taking this medication ever since undergoing brain surgery after he fell from a coconut tree in Fiji 18 months ago.

To review: He put the lime in the coconut and it shook him all up. He put the lime in the coconut and it didn't make him feel better.

[Malaysia Sun]

The Astor Theatre Show Must Go On

Did you hear what happened to Anthony this week? It turns out that Anthony was in cohoots the whole time with his mother's lawyer as part of a plot to swindle money out of her.

Brooke Astor’s son and one of her former lawyers have been indicted on criminal charges stemming from the stewardship of her financial affairs and the handling of her will, according to people who have been briefed on the situation. Her son, Anthony D. Marshall, 83, and the lawyer, Francis X. Morrissey Jr., have been told to surrender to authorities on Tuesday morning, according to those briefed.

Prosecutors had been exploring, among other issues, whether Mrs. Astor was subject to undue influence related to millions of dollars in money and property transfers in the last several years that benefited Mr. Marshall, who had his mother’s power of attorney. The prosecutors have also been examining whether those transactions were in the best interest of Mrs. Astor or if they were larcenous.

Will Anthony cop a plea at the last minute? If not, how many years in prison will he be sentenced to? Or will Mr. Morissey come clean? These questions and more will be answered tomorrow, at the courthouse.

[New York Times]

Heavyweight Catfight to Take Place in Italy, with a $44 Million Purse

Women be shoppin! You know what else women be? Gossips. But remember, kids, be careful who you talk about, otherwise you can end up on the wrong side of a big-ass lawsuit:

Luciano Pavarotti's widow has sued two friends of the late tenor for $44 million, claiming their comments about her marriage were defamatory, her lawyer said Monday. Nicoletta Mantovani filed the lawsuit last month after warning that speculation about the state of her marriage to Pavarotti would not be tolerated, her lawyer said.

Pavarotti died September 6 of pancreatic cancer at age 71. Soon after, friends close to the tenor told Italian media that he had been unhappy in the marriage, and that Mantovani was fighting his grown daughters from an earlier marriage over his estate. "Since the comments did not cease -- and were, in fact, reiterated -- Mantovani had no choice but to file the lawsuit," lawyer Anna Maria Bernini said, confirming weekend reports in the small daily L'Informazione, based in Pavarotti's hometown of Modena. "She is doing it to protect her sense of respectability -- privately for the sake of her daughter and the memory of the maestro, publicly for her image and any future professional activity," Bernini said.

Other story highlights: if she wins, Mantovani plans to "donate" everything to "charity" (quotes very much mine). Also, from the Italian names are fun to say department, the two women sued: Franca Corfini Strata, wife of the singer's dietician, and Lidia La Marca, wife of conductor Leone Magiera.

[CNN]

Dracula - Dead and Loving It

You can do a lot of good in this lifetime, even Vampires can. One man took his modern-day role as Count Dracula and turned it into a calling. He led bloodsucker fests, actually blood drives organized in cooperation with the Red Cross. This is in contrast to the spirit of the original Dracula, who possessed a dark and evil soul, as described by author Bram Stoker.

Ottomar Rodolphe Vlad Dracula Prince Kretzulesco, an eccentric German antiques dealer who became a modern-day Dracula after he was adopted by a descendant of the man who spawned the Dracula legend, has died, Romanian news agencies reported Sunday. He was 67.

Kretzulesco, born Ottomar Berbig, met Ekaterina Olympia Kretzulesco, a childless descendant of Vlad the Impaler III, in the 1980s. Vlad the Impaler's cruelty inspired the bloodsucking Dracula of Bram Stoker's 1897 novel.

Kretzulesco apparently wanted to continue the family line and was impressed by Berbig's black curly hair and bushy mustache, which she said gave him a Transylvanian air, and she legally adopted him, the private NewsIn agency reported.

He is survived by Frankenstein, Godzilla, King Kong, the Blob, the Mummy, the Wolf Man and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

[International Herald Tribune]

Hurricane Herbert Downgraded to Tropical Storm Death

The creator of the five category hurricane rating system, Herbert Saffir died Wednesday at the age of 90. A structural engineer, Saffir created his scale in 1969 — laying out for the first time what kind of damage could be expected from an approaching hurricane. It has since become the definitive way to describe intensity for storms that form in the Atlantic and parts of the Pacific. Before the scale, hurricanes were simply described as major or minor.

Despite devoting much of his life to thinking about and preparing buildings for hurricanes, Saffir acknowledged earlier this year that his own home was not completely protected from a storm with hurricane shutters. He had done studies on the glass in the windows and found it was relatively shatterproof, he said. At the same time, he told The Associated Press, "I confess I only have partial shutters."

[AP]

Old McPresident has Alarm, I-L-O-I-L-O

The Fiji economy is poised for a strong 2008. But the republic's president will be entering the year a bit weaker, still grappling with the Parkinson's Disease for which he's been receiving treatments outside the republic.

The President Ratu Josefa Iloilo left the country last week for Australia for medical reasons, says interim Attorney-General Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum.

Mr Sayed Khaiyum who did not want to elaborate on Ratu Josefa's medical condition said there was no need to appoint anyone to act as President. He said Ratu Josefa would be away for a week and there was no need to appoint anyone to act as he was still capable of carrying out all presidential duties.

[Houston Chronicle]
[Fiji Times]