Tuesday, August 28, 2007

TWID - Dog Days of August Edition

Seldom a day late but never a dollar short, This Week in Death brings you: An ocean of news rivaled only by the Midwest floods in volume. Don't worry, we promise not to flood your basement, only your inbox. Take one more trip with us down to the beach. For the last week of summer, get those floaties and beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Don't forget to bring a towel! Last one in is a rotting corpse!

" Life is for Living," says Coldplay. "Health is for Updates" says TWID...

Graham's Golden Ages Crumbling, Can Soon Ask God "How Do You Cram All That Me?"
Evangelist Billy Graham experienced a third intestinal bleed Wednesday, but doctors say he remains in fair condition. Physicians plan more definitive tests to determine the cause and source of the bleeds. Graham, 88, has been hospitalized since an initial bleed Saturday.Graham, who suffers from a variety of ailments including Parkinson's disease and age-related macular degeneration, has been largely confined to his home in recent years.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,294136,00.html

Pavaroti Departs Modena, Too Sick to Journey to Mecca?

Ailing Italian opera star Luciano Pavarotti has been discharged from hospital in northern Modena where he was admitted more than two weeks ago with a fever, the hospital said on Saturday. Pavarotti will "be able to continue to convalesce in the serenity of his family surroundings, where he can count on the close collaboration of the doctors of the Department of Oncology and Haematology," it said.
http://www.news24.com/News24/Entertainment/Celebrities/0,,2-1225-2108_2171113,00.html

Castro joins Tupac, Biggie, and Cobain as (Possibly) Posthumous Publisher

Fidel Castro signed a lengthy essay published Sunday saluting a Cuban political figure but the 81-year-old gave no hint of how he is feeling, even amid rampant rumors of his death. Castro has not been seen in public in over a year and has not even appeared in official photographs or video footage since taping an interview with Cuban state television June 5.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/08/26/cuba.castro.ap/index.html

Is it Because We Suck at Soccer?
Former Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona on Sunday said he hates the United States "with all my strength" during an appearance on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's weekly television show. The leftist soccer legend, like the fiercely anti-U.S. Chavez, is a close ally of Cuba's Fidel Castro.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/19/AR2007081900996.html

Comatose Sharon: "Consider me an Object;" No Word on if He'll be Hanging Upside Down or Where he Will Swing
Former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon remains comatose and attached to a respirator nearly two years after a devastating stroke, a spokesman for Sheba Medical Center near Tel Aviv said Sunday. "There is no change in his condition," hospital spokesman David Weinberg said. Sharon, 79, was transferred to Sheba's long-term respiratory rehabilitation unit in July 2006 from Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem, which treated him after his stroke in January of that year.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/26/AR2007082600527.html

"Death is Point(s)less"...

Griffin's Crash Scene More Gruesome to Watch than Deuce Bigalow - Norbit Double Feature
Former Minnesota Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin died last week when his sport utility vehicle collided with a freight train in a fiery crash, the Harris County medical examiner's office said Tuesday. Investigators used dental records to identify Griffin, 25, who was waived by the Timberwolves in March."The cause of death and manner of death, which also includes toxicology results, is pending," said Beverly Begay, chief investigator for the Harris County Medical Examiner's office.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2985307

Too Many Brewskies for Brewster, Too Much Live for His Liver

Daniel Baugh Brewster, 83, a decorated Marine Corps veteran and former Democratic U.S. senator from Maryland whose career was shadowed by alcoholism and a charge of accepting an illegal gratuity, died Aug. 19 of liver cancer at his home in Owings Mills, Md. "He served his country in war and in peace. Although brought low by alcoholism, he overcame that illness to lead a successful and productive life," Steny Hoyer said in a statement.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/20/AR2007082001813.html

A TWID Haiku: Beloved Poet, And World Famous Novelist. Say Goodnight Gracie.
Poet and short story writer Grace Paley, a literary eminence and old-fashioned rebel who described herself as a "combative pacifist," has died. She was 84. A published writer since the 1950s, Paley released only a handful of books over the next half century, mostly short stories and poems. Her fiction, although highly praised, competed for time with work, activism, family and friends. "None of it happened, and yet every word of it is true," she once said of her fiction.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/08/23/obit.paley.ap/

This is the Sound of Settling: Death Cab for Betty
Betty Matas, the Queens woman who made national headlines in April when she and her husband took a cross-country taxi ride to their new retirement home in Sedona, Ariz., died on Monday in Cottonwood, Ariz. She was 75. Betty and Bob Matas hired a New York cabdriver, Douglas Guldeniz, to drive them the 2,500 miles to Sedona to spare their two cats a trip in an airplane cargo hold. Both of the Matases had spent their lives in the New York area, and neither had ever learned to drive.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/23/nyregion/23matas.html

"Go Sox Go, Go Sox Go! Hey Chicago What Do You Say? Sox are Gonna Die Today!"
Charles Albert "Chuck" Comiskey II, grandson and namesake of the Chicago White Sox founder and a former front-office executive and co-owner during the "Go Go Sox" years in the 1950s, has died. He was 81. While his family name is one of the best-known in Chicago sports history, Comiskey left his own mark in helping to successfully remake the team en route to its first American League pennant in 40 years in 1959.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2993932


This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death

Happy Birthday to:
August 22: Ray Bradbury (87)
August 25: Sean Connery (77)
August 25: Van Johnson (91)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

Every week, TWID publishes the Top 5 leaders in the standings. Two numbers are listed alongside the team names: the points total, and the number of deaths recorded to date. While the winner of the pool is obviously the one who scores the most points, picking a high number of deaths should certainly be acknowledged. To date, Kraut's Picks, currently 3rd in points, has the highest number of points deaths, with 7. Following him with 6 deaths each are points leader El Esta Adead , Go to Hell (7th in points), Life's a Bitch (8th), and Mine are the Deadest (12th). That's right - the 1st-place team and 12th-place team have recorded the same amount of deaths. The difference is El Esta Adead's deaths include one solo shot for 20 and a pair of 15-pointers. Mine are the Deadest's largest score was 15, and the next-highest score was 7.5. Meanwhile a pair of teams with 4 deaths recorded are 4th and 5th in the standings. Points per death, as determined by popularity of the pick, obviously plays a huge role in the standings, something worth thinking about as DP 2007 heads into the fall stretch and DP 2008 preparations begin.

No points deaths this week means no change in the Top 5, who remain...

1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 57.1 points (7 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Die Hard - 46 points (4 deaths)


Will people continue to die? Will TWID continue to come up with funny headlines for them??? Tune in next week — same Death-time, same Death-channel!

The Commissioner's Council

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