Monday, August 6, 2007

TWID - National Underwear Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: A post midnight run at the swimming pool! Hop a fence with us and join in on the fun. Get your beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Jump in so we can catch you up on the veritable ocean of news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. Don't forget to bring a towel! Oh, and put on some sunscreen, we don't want you to end up in here. Death Pool has just been handed an urgent news story and it needs all of you to stop what your doing and listen... Cannonball!

We lost two of our own this week: Bill Walsh, who invented the West Coast offense, and Oliver W. Hill, who would have fought for his right to do it.


A Health is a guy who can't get no love, but he's also known as a buster....

Notorious B.I.G.G.S. Better Hope for "Life after Death"
Great Train robber Ronnie Biggs was feared close to death in jail last night. Biggs, 77, is in a specially designed "nursing home" for elderly prisoners at Norwich jail. And the prison chaplain is on standby to administer the last rites. He has skin cancer, heart trouble and MRSA. A family friend said: "Ronnie is ready to go free at last. He has put up a brave fight but his health has deteriorated so badly lately that he can't go on."
http://www.people.co.uk/news/tm_headline=train-heist-biggs-nead-to-death&method=full&objectid=19573281&siteid=93463-name_page.html

Otto Has a Case of the Jim-my Legs. Well, Leg, Really
Hall of Fame center Jim Otto recently had his right leg amputated and is recovering in a hospital in Utah. Otto, 69, has had a litany of health problems. He has had prostate cancer, two major infections that nearly killed him and approximately 40 operations - mostly on his banged-up knees from playing football. "It's been, as you know with him, a tremendous fight," Al Davis said. "He's lived through it now for three years, day in and day out. But it finally came. He fought the amputation. He didn't want it. He fought it. But there was no other thing to do but to amputate."
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/2007-08-01-4141235890_x.htm

Think LaLanne's Age Is a Problem? You Don't Know Jack!
Decades before the obesity epidemic, Jack LaLanne took his exercise crusade to the airwaves, showing Americans, who were just becoming enamored of television, how they could stay active while they watched their favorite programs. Moderation remains his mantra. His healthy habits -- and a few good genes -- account for his longevity. What he stumbled upon as a teenager and built as an adult have helped him to age well.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/food/orl-jacklalanne07jul31,0,6022683.story

Hole Singer Halved; She's Love-Sick
Rocker Courtney Love has alarmed fans with her skeletal figure. The once buxom singer wowed people with her figure when she lost 52 pounds earlier this year, thanks to a strict diet of protein shakes and minimal fish and vegetables. However, the singer seems to have taken her diet too far, for she's lost even more weight in the past few weeks, given her a gaunt look.
http://www.medindia.net/news/Loves-Skinny-Frame-Sparks-Health-Concerns-24502-1.htm

Living Till 150? Well, We've Heard You Can't Always Get What You Want
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is a well known rock 'n ' roll survivor, but his latest statement is pushing it somewhat. Keith told a magazine he wants to live till the age of 150. Keith, who had an operation on his brain last year after falling off a shrub, said that after a few tests the docs were surprised at the condition of his body."The doctors were amazed to see that the heart, liver, kidneys were all perfect," he said.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Bangalore_Times/Richards_to_roll_till_150_/articleshow/2255766.cms


Ryan Finds that Not Everything Goes in the Throat So Easily

A one-time Catholic priest who pleaded guilty to molesting a 6-year-old boy on Long Island slashed his throat the day before he was to go to jail. Barry Ryan, 59, survived the suicide attempt, said Suffolk County district attorney spokesman Robert Clifford. Ryan pleaded guilty in 2004 to sexual conduct against a child in the second degree for forcing the boy to perform oral sex the year before.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08022007/news/regionalnews/molest_priest_cuts_his_throat_regionalnews_stefanie_cohen.htm

No, I don't want no death, a death is a guy who can't get no love from me...


Pottasch's Joy of Pepsi Didn't Stop Him from Making the Choice of a New Termination
Alan M. Pottasch, who became known as the "father of the Pepsi Generation" for leading the team that devised exuberant commercials in the 1960s and '70s that linked Pepsi-Cola to the likes of skydivers and skateboarders, died Friday in Los Angeles. He was 79 and lived in New Fairfield, Conn.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/02/business/media/02pottasch.html?_r=1&ref=business&oref=slogin

Death to B5, Death Takes Bishop; At Least He'll Always Have Paris
Cardinal Jean-Marie Lustiger, a Jew who converted to Catholicism and rose through church hierarchy to become one of the most influential Roman Catholic figures in France, died Sunday, the Paris archbishop's office said. He was 80. Lustiger was archbishop of Paris for 24 years before stepping down in 2005 at the age of 78. He died in a medical center in Paris, the archbishop's office said.
http://www.oregonlive.com/newsflash/international/index.ssf?/base/international-24/1186345750165490.xml&storylist=international

Gabler Was a Textbook Case of Affecting the Accepted Norm-a
Norma Gabler, a Texas homemaker who recoiled at material in her children's textbooks and became the public face of a crusade with her husband to rid schoolbooks of content they considered anti-family, anti-American and anti-God, died on July 22 in Phoenix. She was 84. The Gablers had a two-barreled strategy: in addition to pressing issues of ideology, interpretation and philosophy, the Gablers ferreted out errors of fact. But the Gablers' most important battles concerned bigger issues, like making publishers define marriage as a lifelong union between a man and a woman.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/01/education/01gabler.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

First Ingmar Bergman, then Michelangelo Antonioni... If We Were Roberto Benigni, We'd Stay Alert
Michelangelo Antonioni, one of Italy's most famous and influential filmmakers, has died at the age of 94, city officials in Rome say. Considered the cinematic father of modern angst and alienation, Antonioni had a career spanning six decades which included the Oscar-nominated "Blow-Up" and the internationally acclaimed "L'Avventura" (The Adventure).
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/31/antonioni.obit.reut/index.html

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death
Happy Birthday to:
August 1: Sheldon Adelson (74)
August 2: Peter O'Toole (75)
August 2: Shimon Peres (84)
August 4: Barack Obama (46)
August 4: Anita Page (97)
August 4: Helen Thomas (87)
August 5: William H. Smith (102)
August 6: Dom Mintoff (91)

... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

With this week's TWID introducing the new birthday section, Skinny Dipping felt it would be a good time to analyze a key aspect of the pool: entrants' ages. Of the 281 entrants (out of 283, but you knew that already) with known birth years, 11 entered the 2007 year over the age of 100. The oldest pool member is currently 110: Ruby Muhammed, Mother of the Nation of Islam. The youngest? Former football player Maurice Clarett, currently 23 years young. The average age of the 281 is 77.5 years old. What about the 28 (so far) points deaths? Glad you asked. The oldest death to register points was Charles Lane, who passed away after 102 years and 165 days of life. The youngest has been Marcheline Bertrand, who passed on at the age of 56 years, 263 days. The average age of the 28 coming into 2007 is (or, more accurately, was) 84.2 years old.

We're going to sit on the passenger's side of our best friend's ride
The Commissioner's Council

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