This Week in Death brings you: Notes from the game of pool! We've set up the balls in the rack and chalked up the cues. Join us as we go solids versus stripes, and catch you up on all the news you need to know to be a Fats Domino-like death pool competitor. Watch out for the 8-Ball, like death... it's an end. Unlike death, it doesn't give you any points.
Health is a wonderful thing. Health is a really good thing. Get off your ealth, let's do some health...
More Cowbell Reduces Fever. Healthy Enough Not to Be in Gold Plated Diapers
Former first lady Lady Bird Johnson, 94, left an Austin, Texas, hospital on Thursday following six days of tests and observation. The widow of late President Lyndon Johnson was suffering from a low-grade fever when she was admitted on June 22 to Seton Medical Center in Austin.
http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2831205320070628
A Big No No: Zsa Zsa Has Boo Boo
During Friday's hearing, Zsa Zsa Gabor was absent due to a leg infection. It occurred when she slipped and fell while trying to get out of bed without assistance. "She has got a strong antibiotic for the infection," says Prince Frederic. "We hope the infection is going to go away. If it doesn't, she has to go to the hospital."
http://www.etonline.com/celebrities/news/48817/
Bush's Christmas List: I Wanna Pony, a Nintendo Wii, and the Death of a Dictator
President Bush on Thursday openly anticipated the death of ailing Cuban President Fidel Castro, picturing it as an opportunity to bring freedom to the Caribbean island after nearly half a century of iron-fisted rule by the fiery communist leader."One day, the good Lord will take Fidel Castro away," Bush said.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/28/AR2007062801321.html?hpid=moreheadlines
The Second Line on the Headstone is "Until I Turned 90. Being Old Sucks."
When Brooke Astor dies, she wants the world to know "I had a wonderful life." The 105-year-old doyenne of New York society has chosen those words for her headstone, according to a published report. Astor is in frail but stable health, people who have seen her told the Daily News yesterday.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/06/25/2007-06-25_socialite_astors_wonderful_life_is_set_i.html
Until death do us part...
Liz Claiborne, founder of the fashion house that bears her name, died today at the age of 78. Claiborne, who retired from the day-to-day operations in 1989, founded the fashion house in 1976. The goal was to create a collection of fashions aimed at the growing number of women entering the workforce.
http://cbs2.com/topstories/topstories_story_178145336.html
Siegel Gives Death Two Thumbs Down
Surrounded by family and friends, ABC's beaming and insightful movie critic Joel Siegel has died in New York, after a long and remarkably courageous struggle with cancer, at the age of 63.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3324632&page=1
Survived American Hurls: Atomic or Otherwise
Former Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa, whose career stretched from Japan's defeat in World War II through the 1990s "lost decade" of economic stagnation, died on Thursday at the age of 87, his office said. For some, Miyazawa's most enduring image was captured in 1992 when he cradled the head of U.S. President George Bush in his lap after Bush collapsed at a state banquet in Tokyo.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070628/wl_nm/japan_miyazawa_death_dc_2
Everyone Mourned because They Assumed They Were Supposed to Get the Sadness
With the coming of July we have reached the halfway point of the Death Pool. In the immortal (no pun intended. Screw it. Pun very much intended.) word of John Bon Jovi "Whoooooooooooooooa we're halfway there, whooooooooooooooa living on a prayer." A prayer of health, death notices, and scoring updates. In honor of the halfway point, we reproduce for you: The Full Standings.
1. El Esta Adead- 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots- 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score- 50 points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard- 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Av S. is My Hero- 41 points (3 deaths)
6. Go to Hell- 37.5 points (3 deaths)
7. Future Corpses of America- 35 points (2 deaths)
8. Mine are the Deadest- 28.5 points (3 deaths)
9. Life's a Bitch- 25 points (2 deaths)
10. Hey Hey Hey Goodbye- 21 (2 deaths)
11. Beating a Dead Horse- 20 points (1 death)
11. Fatal Swimming Pool- 20 points (1 death)
13. Hagler's Picks - 15 points (1 death)
13. Kraut's Picks- 15 points (1 death)
13. Struck Down by Yahweh- 15 points (1 death)
13. The Death Eaters- 15 points (1 death)
17. Grave Danger- 13.5 points (2 deaths)
18. The Morgue the Merrier- 6 points (1 death)
18. Death is Funny- 6 points (1 death)
18. The Deathtrum- 6 points (1 death)
21. Satan's Waiting Room- 0 points
21. Grateful I'm not Dead- 0 points
21. No Research, Just Guts- 0 points
21. Hagler's Rolls- 0 points
21. Achrei Mos Kedoshim Emor- 0 points
21. Do not Resuscitate- 0 points
21. The Rev. Isaac Bruce- 0 points
21. My Twenty People- 0 points
21. The Tomb Raiders- 0 points
21. Anybody But Me- 0 points
Second Half Projections? Double Your Current Score.
Health is a wonderful thing. Health is a really good thing. Get off your ealth, let's do some health...
More Cowbell Reduces Fever. Healthy Enough Not to Be in Gold Plated Diapers
Former first lady Lady Bird Johnson, 94, left an Austin, Texas, hospital on Thursday following six days of tests and observation. The widow of late President Lyndon Johnson was suffering from a low-grade fever when she was admitted on June 22 to Seton Medical Center in Austin.
http://www.reuters.com/article
A Big No No: Zsa Zsa Has Boo Boo
During Friday's hearing, Zsa Zsa Gabor was absent due to a leg infection. It occurred when she slipped and fell while trying to get out of bed without assistance. "She has got a strong antibiotic for the infection," says Prince Frederic. "We hope the infection is going to go away. If it doesn't, she has to go to the hospital."
http://www.etonline.com
Bush's Christmas List: I Wanna Pony, a Nintendo Wii, and the Death of a Dictator
President Bush on Thursday openly anticipated the death of ailing Cuban President Fidel Castro, picturing it as an opportunity to bring freedom to the Caribbean island after nearly half a century of iron-fisted rule by the fiery communist leader."One day, the good Lord will take Fidel Castro away," Bush said.
http://www.washingtonpost.com
The Second Line on the Headstone is "Until I Turned 90. Being Old Sucks."
When Brooke Astor dies, she wants the world to know "I had a wonderful life." The 105-year-old doyenne of New York society has chosen those words for her headstone, according to a published report. Astor is in frail but stable health, people who have seen her told the Daily News yesterday.
http://www.nydailynews.com
Until death do us part...
Claiborne Unveils New Flat Line
Liz Claiborne, founder of the fashion house that bears her name, died today at the age of 78. Claiborne, who retired from the day-to-day operations in 1989, founded the fashion house in 1976. The goal was to create a collection of fashions aimed at the growing number of women entering the workforce.
http://cbs2.com/topstories
Siegel Gives Death Two Thumbs Down
Surrounded by family and friends, ABC's beaming and insightful movie critic Joel Siegel has died in New York, after a long and remarkably courageous struggle with cancer, at the age of 63.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA
Survived American Hurls: Atomic or Otherwise
Former Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa, whose career stretched from Japan's defeat in World War II through the 1990s "lost decade" of economic stagnation, died on Thursday at the age of 87, his office said. For some, Miyazawa's most enduring image was captured in 1992 when he cradled the head of U.S. President George Bush in his lap after Bush collapsed at a state banquet in Tokyo.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm
Everyone Mourned because They Assumed They Were Supposed to Get the Sadness
J.B. Handelsman, who applied his dry wit to subjects ranging from politics to popular culture while creating nearly 1,000 New Yorker magazine cartoons, has died of lung cancer. Handelsman, 85, died June 20 at his home in Southampton, N.Y., The New Yorker said Tuesday.
With the coming of July we have reached the halfway point of the Death Pool. In the immortal (no pun intended. Screw it. Pun very much intended.) word of John Bon Jovi "Whoooooooooooooooa we're halfway there, whooooooooooooooa living on a prayer." A prayer of health, death notices, and scoring updates. In honor of the halfway point, we reproduce for you: The Full Standings.
1. El Esta Adead- 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots- 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score- 50 points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard- 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Av S. is My Hero- 41 points (3 deaths)
6. Go to Hell- 37.5 points (3 deaths)
7. Future Corpses of America- 35 points (2 deaths)
8. Mine are the Deadest- 28.5 points (3 deaths)
9. Life's a Bitch- 25 points (2 deaths)
10. Hey Hey Hey Goodbye- 21 (2 deaths)
11. Beating a Dead Horse- 20 points (1 death)
11. Fatal Swimming Pool- 20 points (1 death)
13. Hagler's Picks - 15 points (1 death)
13. Kraut's Picks- 15 points (1 death)
13. Struck Down by Yahweh- 15 points (1 death)
13. The Death Eaters- 15 points (1 death)
17. Grave Danger- 13.5 points (2 deaths)
18. The Morgue the Merrier- 6 points (1 death)
18. Death is Funny- 6 points (1 death)
18. The Deathtrum- 6 points (1 death)
21. Satan's Waiting Room- 0 points
21. Grateful I'm not Dead- 0 points
21. No Research, Just Guts- 0 points
21. Hagler's Rolls- 0 points
21. Achrei Mos Kedoshim Emor- 0 points
21. Do not Resuscitate- 0 points
21. The Rev. Isaac Bruce- 0 points
21. My Twenty People- 0 points
21. The Tomb Raiders- 0 points
21. Anybody But Me- 0 points
Second Half Projections? Double Your Current Score.
That's Death. Taxes also a guarantee...
The Commissioner's Council
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