This Week in Death brings you: Notes from instructional swim! Come on down to poolside as we review the basics of Death Pool. Feel free to try the crawl, back, breast or butterfly stroke from end to end as we catch you up on all the news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. And if you need a kick board, don't be embarrassed, we'll show you how to blow bubbles in the water. General swim returns shortly...
This week brought the passing of two of our most popular members: Charles Lane and Lady Bird Johnson... We'll miss you both very much, and don't worry; we are not fighting over the inheritance. We have divvied up the points fairly.
For better health updates, eat organic....
Diller in a Pickle; Tough to Get Out of it With Strained Back
ET has learned Phyllis Diller did not break her back as earlier reports indicated. She actually fractured a disk in her back while at home. She said it happened after she twisted and turned, and the resulting injury turned out to be a fractured disk in her back. She tells ET that she's going to try and take it easy and let everything heal.
http://www.etonline.com
"It's Better to be Pissed Off, then Pissed On!" You know what I mean, Grylls! Um Bear, What Are You Doing in This Video???
"That is probably the most disgusting thing i have seen a hot guy do!" - Speedergurl
"He is my hero. For peeing on his shirt and wearing it on his head to keep cool. In the desert" - Randale87
No Word If Pavarotti is Fighting More Like Nala or Simba (or Kitna)
Luciano Pavarotti is "fighting like a lion" against his pancreatic cancer and is reacting well to radiotherapy, his wife told an Italian newspaper. "I can now say he is doing well," Nicoletta Mantovani said in an interview published Wednesday in the Italian daily La Stampa. "He's determined and results are encouraging," she said. "Despite the heavy treatment he has not lost weight, which by the way he would have liked, or his hair."
http://www.washingtonpost.com
Flatley Mysteriously Flirting with Flat-lining?
Dance star Michael Flatley has enlisted a team of doctors find a cure for the mystery immune virus that left him fighting for his life last December (06). Flatley was taken ill while rehearsing for Celtic Tiger, his latest show. The mystery virus left him hospitalised for weeks, amid reports it might rob him of the ability to dance.
http://www.postchronicle.com
You know what? Charles Lane and Lady Bird don't get all the death attention this week...
Should have Shagged Now; No More Shag Later
Longtime major league umpire Shag Crawford, patriarch of a family of prominent sports officials, died Wednesday. He was 90. Jerry Crawford said his father died at an assisted living facility in suburban Philadelphia. "For someone who was going to be 91 in August, he was in pretty good health for a long time," Crawford said by telephone. Jerry Crawford became a big league umpire in the mid-1970s, around the time his brother, Joey, became an NBA official.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb
Sadly, There Was No Fluffer on Hand to Keep Him Going
Jim Mitchell, who teamed with his brother, Artie, to build a legendary porn empire that included San Francisco's O'Farrell Theatre and several revolutionary skin flicks -- and who in 1991 shot his brother dead -- died Thursday night at his Sonoma County ranch home, family and coroner's officials said. He was 63. "He was sitting in his chair and doing something, I think watching TV, and he just, 'Ehhhh.' That was it. His heart quit him just like that," said Merle Lane, a relative by marriage.
http://www.mercurynews.com
Kudzu Creator Crashes. Have to Wonder What the Last Thought Bubble Through His Head Was...
Doug Marlette, the North Carolina-born cartoonist who won a Pulitzer Prize and created the popular strip "Kudzu," was killed in a car accident Tuesday morning in Mississippi, authorities said. He was 57. Marlette was the passenger in the car, which struck a tree after skidding on a rain-slicked road, said John Garrison, the coroner in Mississippi's Marshall County.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap
Larry Can't Stave off Illness; Should've Tried Indiana Pace-maker
Larry Staverman, who was the first coach of the Indian Pacers when they started as an ABA franchise, died Wednesday after a long illness. He was 70. "By being our first coach, he was a believer in the franchise at a time when there were many doubters," Pacers CEO Donnie Walsh said in a statement. "That is something we recognize and hope our fans recognize. Our condolences go to his family and friends."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap
Back with popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.
Last week also introduced the "Skinny Dipping Curse." Skinny Dipping boasted of the continued living of both Charles Lane and Lady Bird Johnson, only to see both perish. Who will skinny dipping curse this week? Find out... right now.
While most weeks this space will be used to take a look at some of the more trivia-related aspects of Death Pool, be it the entries in the Pool, or the names that appear on those entries, a week like this, with 22 point additions to 15 teams (7 teams double-dipped this week!), forces a look at the entire depth of the pool. 10 teams began the week with no points recorded; the passing of two popular picks, Charles Lane and Lady Bird Johnson, shrank that number by 4. Incredibly, three teams (Satan's Waiting Room , Grateful I'm Not Dead, and Hagler's Rolls) broke their shutout on Tuesday and got their second score on Wednesday. One team (Anybody But Me) only had Johnson. When the dust cleared, 6 teams remain points-less; in better news, they still have 168 3/8 days left to get on the board!
The Leaders Remain... No, wait! We have an adjustment! Repeat, an adjustment! With her 5.5 point increase this week, Go to Hell has now cracked the Top Sorry, Av S. Is My Hero - better luck this week.
1. El Esta Adead - 66 points (5 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Yiz-score - 50 points (3 deaths)
4. Die Hard - 46 points (3 deaths)
5. Go to Hell - 43 points (5 deaths)
Don't let the heat drag you down, cool down with a dip in the death pool... an instructional dip, of course.
The Commissioner's Council
No comments:
Post a Comment