The Final Insult

Often times it is difficult to find a roommate you can connect with and get along with. And when you do, you want to hang on to them until they die. Or until after they die. Either way, really.

What's this got to do with birthdays? Nothing, except these two people are one day closer to being a corpse in someone's apartment for 8 years. If that's not a reason to celebrate, I don't know what is.

Yesterday was somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Actor Leslie Nielsen's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 82! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Leslie Nielsen's name appears on "M"h By You Buddy's" roster

• Nielsen briefly appeared in the World Wrestling Federation in the summer of 1994. Capitalizing on his Frank Drebin character, Nielsen (and George Kennedy) were hired as "super-sleuths" to unravel the mystery of The Undertaker, who had disappeared at January's Royal Rumble event.
  

This is actually the point of my life when I figured out for myself wrestling was fake.

Yesterday was somebody else's birthday! Whose Birthday? Former dictator of Panama Manuel Noriega's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 74! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Manuel Noriega's name appears on "Genesis 6:7's" roster

• Noriega was convicted in April of 1992 on charges of racketeering, money laundering, and drug trafficking, and sentenced to 40 years in prison.

That's exactly what every country wants out of their dictator, isn't it?

... And Many More!

Every Time a Freddie Bell Sings, an Angel Gets His Wings

… And it looks like there are going to be less aerial mythical beings. Freddie Bell, an originator in the 1950’s rock and roll movement, with hits later covered by Elvis such as “Hound Dog” and “Giddy Up a Ding Dong,” died of complications from cancer in Las Vegas at the age of 76.

Bell was performing at the Sands casino-hotel on the Las Vegas Strip in the mid-1950s when Presley was just an opening act across the street at the New Frontier. Bell's upbeat covers, and perhaps his knee-wiggling dance moves, inspired Presley, (publicist Norm) Johnson said. "He loved Freddie's version," Johnson said. "He added new words and a better beat."

Bell also appeared in movies such as “Rock Around the Clock,” until his time ran out. Join us as we say goodbye to the man who gave birth to Elvis Presley. I wonder if that pregnancy inspired him to giddy up a ding dong. Yeah... Enjoy that visual...

[Yahoo! News]

Arsenic Poisoning Ruled Out in Napoleon Cold Case

We're always interested in learning about the deaths of the famous people who lived before the inaugural year of DP. After all, their famous deaths paved the way for the famous deaths of 2008.

With some of those deaths come unaswered questions. What were Gandhi's last words? Who did Abe Lincoln leave his possessions to? And what exactly did Napoleon die of?

While we may never know the real answers to the first questions, some Italian researchers have set out to disprove the myth that the French leader died from arsenic poisoning.

"It's not arsenic poisoning that killed Napoleon at Saint Helena," said the National Nuclear Physics Institute (INFN) after what it called a "new meticulous examination" of the emperor's hair, that of his first wife and his son, Napoleon II.

Theories abound about the cause of the emperor's death, aged 51 on May 5 1821, ranging from stomach cancer to arsenic poisoning.

Napoleon did have a detectable level of arsenic in his body, though that was not uncommon at the time of his death in 1821. It was not enough to kill the man.

Might we suggest...alcohol overdose? Or maybe he ate too many of his eponymous pastries.

[News 24]
[Bloomberg]

Who Does Number 2 Work For?

Many people argue that breast feeding is best for babies. I think this article would argue otherwise. Maybe this will stem the tide of women whipping out their boobs in supermarkets. We can only hope.

Speaking of boobs, we had someone's birthday yesterday...

Yesterday was somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Actor Robert Wagner's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 78! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Robert Wagner's name appears on "Remains to Be Seen's" roster

• Wagner is currently pitching reverse mortgage company the Senior Lending Network.

And here I thought he was working for Virtucon trying to steal "lasers" and blow up the world.

... And Many More!

Tom Lantos' Impending Retirement Derailed by Cancer

Tom Lantos, the only Holocuast survivor to ever serve in the United States Congress, died this morning of cancer at the age of 80. Lantos may be better known to people in Death Pool 2008 as the grandfather of Charity Sunshine.

Lantos was frequently described as having an aristocratic, Old World bearing, but he was also known for scolding those he felt did not measure up ethically. He targeted independent counsel Donald C. Smaltz, who investigated President Bill Clinton's fundraising practices, for being a registered Republican and likened Smaltz to Kurt Waldheim (ed. a pick in Death Pool 2007), the former U.N. secretary general who "conveniently forgot several years when he was a Nazi."

I don't think you can compare an independent investigator to the Nazis. But I guess if I can compare the Yankees to the Nazis, he can do whatever he wants.

[Washington Post]

TV Exec Ron Leavitt Dead (With Children)

The man who gave the world Al Bundy has passed away.

Ron Leavitt, who co-created the sitcom "Married With Children," died Sunday. He was 60. Leavitt died of lung cancer at his home in Los Angeles, said his publicist Larry Winokur. Leavitt was best known for teaming up with Michael G. Moye to create "Married With Children," a sitcom about the luckless shoe salesman Al Bundy and his dysfunctional family. "Married With Children" ran on the Fox network from 1987 to 1997 and became the network's second-longest running sitcom behind "The Simpsons."

In his memory, I fully endorse screaming "Woooooooooooooooh!!!" anytime an attractive girl named Kely walks into a room this week. What a visionary.

[San Jose Mercury News]

Of Death and Dogs

Since this week is the Westminster Dog Show, I though it be appropriate to share a story about death and dogs.

As far as I know, none of yesterday's birthday have dogs and therefore can concentrate on keeping themselves alive.

Yesterday was somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Actress Kathryn Grayson's Birthday. How Old Is She? 1,2,3,4... 86! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Kathryn Grayson's name appears on "Remains to Be Seen's" roster

• Grayson's first TV appearances were in the 1950's, and she received an Emmy nomination in 1956 for her performance in the General Electric Theater episode Shadow on the Heart with John Ericson. Most recently, she appeared in several episodes of Angela Lansbury's long-running series Murder, She Wrote in the late 1980's.
  

If your most recent work includes "Murder, She Wrote" you are probably a pretty good pick for a Death Pool.

Yesterday was somebody else's birthday! Whose Birthday? Artist, writer, and musician Holly Johnson's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 48! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Holly Johnson's name appears on "Dead Place's" roster

• Johnson played bass with Big in Japan and released several solo singles on the Eric's label, before finding fame as the lead singer and lyricist of Frankie Goes to Hollywood, who enjoyed considerable controversy and commercial success during their heyday in the early 1980s.

In fact, he was the one who led to Mugatu's ousting from the band before their hit "Relax"

... And Many More!

Roy Scheider Can't Escape the Jaws of Death

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Roy Scheider, a stage actor with a background in the classics who became one of the leading figures in the American film renaissance of the 1970s, died on Sunday afternoon in Little Rock, Ark. He was 75.

Mr. Scheider’s rangy figure, gaunt face and emotional openness made him particularly appealing in everyman roles, most famously as the agonized police chief of “Jaws,” Steven Spielberg’s 1975 breakthrough hit, about a New England resort town haunted by the knowledge that a killer shark is preying on the local beaches.

Congratulations and 24 points awarded to Haaaave You Met Dead? The Rosters and Standings have been updated.

[New York Times]

Curtis Salgado No Longer Singing the Blues

Without Curtis Salgado, John Belushi might never have become "Joliet" Jake Blues in the movie The Blues Brothers. In recent years, though, Salgado's had more personal reasons to sing his harmonica-heavy blues.

Curtis Salgado, who has endured a roller-coaster of life crisis during the last two years, is getting a second chance. Optimistic that his medical issues may be behind him, Curtis is excited about the prospect of a healthy and prosperous 2008.

Salgado received great news this month when test results gave him a clean bill of health.

We think it'll be interesting to see how Salgado's music is affected by his increasing health. Jazz, after all, was heavily influenced by mental illness.

[AllAboutJazz.com]

Old Metal Van Johnson Still Chugging Along

Been wondering why you haven't heard about Van Johnson lately? Someone wrote in to the Belleville News-Democrat to find out what's going on in the actor's life.

Q. Is actor Van Johnson still alive? If so, where is he living? How about his wife and children?--T.G. of St. Libory

A. Despite a near-fatal car wreck 65 years ago, Charles Van Johnson continues to roll along at 91 as he lives a quiet life in Nyack, N.Y. That auto accident came just as Johnson had signed a seven-year contract with MGM and left him with a metal plate in his head.

Johnson was nursed back to health at the home of Keenan Wynn and his wife, Eve. Five years later, in 1947, Johnson married Eve on the very day that her divorce with Keenan was finalized.

Johnson also beat skin cancer in 1963. We're confident that whenever it's Van's time to go, there will be appropriate coverage.

[Belleville News-Democrat]

Marie Fredriksson and Her Tumor at a Draw

Talk about drawing on inspiration.

Former member of the Swedish pop group Roxette, Marie Fredriksson, has taken up drawing as a hobby while recovering from a tumor. She hasn't ruled out a return to her former career, filled with writing and singing.

In an open hearted interview with TV4's Lasse Bengtsson Marie Fredriksson reveals that the tumor took away her sight on the right eye. "I bump into things all the time, it takes a long time to get used to," Marie says to Lasse. Marie also says that she finally got a clean bill of health last summer, and that's when everything changed, she became a new person.

We suppose it's Win, Lose or Draw for Fredriksson in her battle.

[TheDailyRoxette.com]

A Farrah Cher of Good News

Friends can give support and comfort during tough times. If you have Cher as a friend, though, you'll get a recommendation of where to get treated. The doctor she knows is "the best."

Cher says her showbiz pal Farrah Fawcett is ‘cancer free.’ Now the star is once again in complete remission, according to Cher. The 61-year-old singer said: “She’s tough. I don’t think I could’ve gone through what she did.

“She is now cancer free so this will be a real interesting thing.” Cher told U.S. show Access Hollywood that it was her that encouraged Farrah to visit the German cinic for treatment. “It is a completely different kind of treatment,” Cher said.

Farrah must have dropped Cher's name for the correct medication. (Cher's name is Cherilyn Sarkisian.)

[ShowbizSpy.com]

Weiland When You Can Fly?

Scott Weiland may be with Velvet Revolver but he is still putting the "Stone" in Temple Pilots. Weiland, who has long been embattled with drug and alcohol addictions, is back in rehab. Velvet Revolver has canceled their show in San Diego this Thursday, but they say that Weiland's rehab tour will not derail the rest of their scheduled plans.:

"Weiland voluntarily entered a rehab facility" following the group's performance, reads a statement provided to MTV News. "[Thursday's] San Diego show at the House of Blues has been postponed; the rescheduled date for San Diego is TBA. Velvet Revolver deeply apologize to their fans and thank them for sticking by the group."

Velvet Revolver fans stick with the group, much as Scott Weiland sticks needles in his arm. That's the kind of commitment they have to each other.

[MTV]

Phyllis A. Whitney Exercises Her Write to Die

Scoring Update! The points change, death remains the same...

Phyllis A. Whitney, a prolific best-selling author of romantic mysteries, young-adult novels and children’s mysteries for more than a half-century, died on Friday in Faber, Va. She was 104.

In 1988 Ms. Whitney received the prestigious Grand Master Award for lifetime achievement from the Mystery Writers of America.

“I always told myself that when I get old I’ll reread all my books, but I never seem to get old,” Ms. Whitney said in an interview with The Times when she was 79.

Congratulations and 9 points awarded to Haaaave You Met Dead?, Blue, The Kick the Bucket List, and Whoaa-ooah, Dying on the Edge. The Rosters and Standings have been updated.

[New York Times]

"Gimme a Strokes"

Whenever I watched the show Diff'rent Strokes, I always wondered what happened to Mrs. Drummond. I always assumed she died some sort of normal death. Now, while Mr. Drummond was extremely skinny, maybe he was at one time fat, and that his wife's demise was due to something like this.

On second thought, this idea makes more sense if Diff'rent Strokes merged with Gimme a Break and Nell Carter sat on Mrs. Drummond because she was jealous of her extravagant lifestyle.

On third thought, maybe none of this makes any sense at all. Let's just go to the birthday, shall we?

Today is somebody's birthday! Whose Birthday? Actor Gary Coleman's Birthday. How Old Is He? 1,2,3,4... 40! And Never been Kissed By... Death

Gary Coleman's name appears on "I Am Ready to Meet My Maker's" roster

• Coleman was a candidate for governor in the 2003 California recall election. He placed 8th in a field of 135 candidates, receiving 14,242 votes.
  

He really took it to Mary Carey though (she finished 10th). No pun intended. Well, yes pun intended.

... And Many More!

JFK Blown Away. What Else Do I Have to Say?

For those of us who remember Deathpool1963, we know the shock of seeing President John F. Kennedy assassinated (he was on two rosters: “Cuban Missile Die-sis” and – presciently - “Happy Birthday, Mr. Deadisent”). And we remember the aftermath when we found out that it was the Federal Reserve, the CIA, the KGB, the Illuminati, the Mafia, FBI director J. Edgar Hoover, Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Fidel Castro, George H. W. Bush someone behind it.

When it comes to the Kennedy assassination, conspiracy theories abound, including not only who did it, but also how many people did it, the nature of the wound, where there was a decoy hearse. Crazy, right? The thing is… this is not going to help: The Dallas hospital room where JFK died, Parkland Memorial Hospital Trauma Room No. 1, now resides in Kansas.

Parkland modernized their hospital 35 years ago and the entire room- including the examination table, clocks, tiling, lockers, trash cans, surgical instruments, gloves, cotton balls, and a towel dispenser – was bought by the federal government. All of it was placed in a locked vault in a Fort Worth warehouse run by the National Archives and Records Administration where it stayed until September, when they were moved to an archives facility in Lenexa, Kansas.

The question on all our minds: When can we go to Kansas to see it?

"It's in a secure location," Reed Whitaker, the agency's Central Plains Region administrator, confirmed last week. "Basically, it's not to be examined, not to be shown to the press, not to be photographed, not to be exhibited to the public."

I see. Maybe we should un-strikethrough that first paragraph. I guess we will have to track down Dr. Stanley Goodspeed if we ever want to know the truth…

[Dallas Morning News]

Abdullah Ocalan is Like a Cat

He has fur, a tail, claws, hairballs, and always lands on his feet. And if Garfield is right, he loves lasagna.

But mostly, he seems to have nine lives. Abdullah Ocalan (looking at that picture... can we dub him "Fat Saddam"? Too Soon?) is the founder and leader of the Kurdistan Worker's party (PKK), which is listed as a terrorist organization by governing bodies such as the USA, EU, and NATO. He was captured, arrested, and sentenced to death in 1999, but his sentence was transformed to life in prison when the death penalty was abolished in Turkey, in 2002.

So what to do with this imprisoned terrorist?

Lawmaker Emine Ayla called for an improvement in the "living and health conditions" of Abdullah Ocalan, the founder of the PKK who is serving a life sentence on an island prison... Ocalan's welfare is a chief concern for lawmakers from the Democratic Society Party, reflecting the sway that the imprisoned leader holds over many Kurds.

Worry for his welfare. Food. Health. No Torture. I wonder if they can still waterboard him?

[Kurdish Aspect]

Bob Sheppard's Health Failing; Average Yankee Fan Doesn't Give a Flock

Good morning... ladies and gentlemen... and welcome... to Best Death Pool Ever... Your attention please... we have an update... someone picked on four rosters... Yankees public address announcer... Bob Sheppard... Picked on four rosters.

Sheppard, the Yankees’ distinctive public-address announcer since 1951, who missed the division series last October because of a bronchial infection, “is struggling to recover his health,” a spokesman for the Yankees, Howard Rubenstein, said Wednesday. The team “hopes he can return to the booth,” Rubenstein added.

I know he's a "legend," and "beloved," and "old," but I'm with Rick Reilly:

Everybody is so charmed by Yankee Stadium public address announcer Bob Sheppard, with his teeth-clenched, perfect-diction English. He sounds British. Is he British? No, he's from Long Island! Why, then, does he speak like Thurston Howell III? Bunch of Yankees fans drunk on lighter fluid in the stands, screaming, "I paid a buck to see ya mutha naked, Rocker!" and the club has some guy on the P.A. making like Alistair Cooke.

[NY Times]
[Sports Illustrated]

Mary Travers' Back is Better Than Ever but Tour Twisted

The folk singing group Peter, Paul and Mary is still touring. Recent surgeries though have left Mary Travers less glee-ful. And the band has had to adjust its tour.

Peter, Paul and Mary, scheduled to perform at the McCallum Theatre April 17, have cancelled their show due to medical reasons. The group cancelled concerts through the summer on Mary Travers' doctor's advice so she can recover from two back surgeries, acording to the group's management. No make up date has been scheduled.Ticket holders may exchange their tickets for another performance or receive a refund by taking them to McCallum Theatre Box Office.

If I had a hammer for every time Travers had an operation, I'd have a lot of hammers.

[Desert Sun]

And Then There Was One; Harry Landis Stops Fighting

Harry Richard Landis, who enlisted in the Army in 1918 and was one of only two known surviving U.S. veterans of World War I, has died. He was 108.

You may recognize his name. Now there's just one living American survivor of WWI. He is Frank Buckles, 107, of Charles Town, W.Va.

Landis trained as a U.S. Army recruit for 60 days at the end of the war and never went overseas. But the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs counts him among the 4.7 million men and woman who served during the Great War.

When asked whether he had wanted to get into the fight, Landis said, "No." When the war ended on Nov. 11, 1918, Landis recalled a final march with his unit.

There's one other Canadian soldier who is still alive, joining Buckles. However, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

[Yahoo! News]