Monday, January 21, 2008

Jimmy Carter is 83; 581 in Dog Years; 91 in Chuck Norris Years

Chuck Norris is the only person who can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity…twice.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
When Chuck Norris adds 4 to 72, it equals... whatever he wants it to.

And Chuck Norris has a simple proof for his algorithm:
1. Serving as president accelerates the aging process "three-to-one" (that's science)
2. John McCain would be 72 when he started his presidency
3. Therefore, in Norris' words:

"If John takes over the presidency at 72 and he ages three-to-one, how old will he be in four years? Eighty-four years old"
Norris' Axiom has great effects for those who picked Jimmy Carter or George H.W. Bush, both of whom are 91 in Norris Years, seven years older than the approximate years counted by mere mortals.

Besides for adding years to Norris worries that McCain, 84 in Norris Years, might die in office. That's why he supports Huckabee, who is only 52 in Norris Years.

It's a good thing that there is a two term limit, otherwise Norris would have to support a different candidate altogether:

And Obama won't even wear a flag pin on his lapel...

[Newsweek]

1 comment:

Live Like You Were Dying said...

Chuck Norris is neither a Democrat nor a Republican. He's a registered Badass.